Annie's Demons
by NightOwlHoot
Summary: Chapter 35 is a tough read, difficult to write too, but all adds to what Annie is going through and why she needs to get out of dodge. Added two chapters, swapped 36 and 37. None of these characters are mine, all belong to CA Writers/USA Network. THANKS for reviewing. So sad they chose to not renew for just one more season.
1. Chapter 1: Ivan Kravec

Ivan Kravec, the CIA's lead from the Postman's laptop was traded after he provided what the DPD deemed was useful intel at the time. Turns out it was a major botch up as Kravec proved untrustworthy, but he was gone and untouchable. Langley didn't realize the ramifications of not fully vetting Kravec's intel before trading him, thus giving him freedom to continue to do what he pleased as money launderer who helped dozens of terrorists, drug lords, and dirty politicians.

Kravec is a sociopath. He appears calm and stable, but there is a dark sinister side to him. His façade is a man of mystery and charm, but he will not forget being crossed. He enjoys toying with people and their emotions, making people feel uneasy gave him tremendous pleasure. He was a skilled torturer at the FSB. He is good at talking a game, keeping secrets and deception. He has no empathy when he hurts his victims.

While he was in CIA custody he began plotting his revenge on Martine Miller in between the pressure tactics the Americans were exacting on him. It didn't have to be tomorrow or even next week or next month, but he was going to exact pain and suffering on the woman responsible for getting him caged again. It had been years since he was locked up and at his age, it really didn't suit him. Back in Paris when he was getting ready to ship the woman who called herself Martine Miller off to a Russian prison for questioning, he was sorry he wasn't going to be the one to break her, but knowing she was going to be locked up in a Russian prison gave him extreme pleasure. If only his former girlfriend and FSB counterintelligence operative Yana wasn't in such a hurry, he would have had some fun with Martine himself. The bitch deserved what she was going to get for thinking she could drug him and use him. Did she take him for a fool to be so enamored by her that he didn't notice that she had drugged him and set up the rouse that they had had sex? He knew she was foreign intelligence the morning he woke up in a haze. He just wasn't sure which agency sent her.

The nerve of her to return to squeeze out more information was something to be admired, she had audacity and arrogance. He had been attracted to her, in another life, if she weren't a CIA operative working against him, he might even have enjoyed her company long-term. It was uncommonly difficult to admit she worked him. Between being fascinated by her beguiling ways, he wished he killed her when he had the chance, but soon the time would come for her to suffer. He was going to find out who she really was and plan her punishment. Yana had taken a photo of Martine and ran it through the FBS database to reveal her true identity. She was none other than Annie Walker, CIA. She took down Lena Smith in his homeland, was responsible for Hector Serrano's death, and escaped a Moscow prison. Hector was a good friend of Ivan's, they had trained together and were like brothers. Ivan had plans for Annie, plans to make her regret everything she had done.

Annie Walker made him look powerless, a man who could be compromised by a woman. He had never in his esteemed career allowed a woman to best him. He managed to keep under wraps that someone was able to get a hold of sensitive client financial records. Kravec skillfully diverted the attention of the CIA to Mueller or Tabrizi. It was so easy for him to fool the CIA. Mueller was small potatoes, a stupid washed out American working with dumb country bumkins in Azerbaijan, a wanna be jihadist, they had no long term vision. Kravec managed Mueller's money, but had no respect for him and no qualms selling him out.

Kravec's client list included more notable clients than Mueller. There were bigger fish to fry and Kravec protected them by sending the CIA Mueller's way. Those Langley hacks were so stupid and full of themselves, they thought they would break him with their basic mind games, a little waterboarding and electric shock. It was child's play to him. He was waiting to formulate the right plan and the right opportunity, it was all about timing and he would strike when they least expected it. That's what Martine Miller or Annie Walker did to him and that is what he planed to do to her.


	2. Chapter 2: Annie's Return

**Annie's Return**

After she parted ways with Eyal in Turkey.

"Thank you for everything," says Annie.

"You know me, I'm always up for an adventure with you. We make a great team."

Annie gives Eyal a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I hope this McQuaid knows what he has, until next time Neshema," says Eyal.

"I hope next time is for pleasure Eyal."

It was becoming harder and harder to say good-bye to her good friend, she wasn't ever sure when she would see him again, but both were grateful to have each other in their lives. She went straight to her plane. She spent a good amount of time finishing up her reports before finally crashing only to be awakened by the announcement from the pilot that they were about to land. As Annie deplanes her heart speeds up when she sees McQuaid leaning against his Land Rover waiting for with a bouquet of hydrangeas. He looks a bit thinner and paler, but still handsome. She had spoken to him on the phone and he said he would send a car to pick her up, she wasn't expecting to see him just yet. She looked a mess, bruised, disheveled and dirty. She wanted to get out of Istanbul and hadn't showered. When she reaches him, they laugh as he hands the flowers to her. "I hope you like them. Welcome home Annie."

"It's over," she says with a sigh. "I wish I could have stopped everything though."

"It's not your fault Annie. You did good work. You saved countless lives"

"But I couldn't save Arthur."

"That wasn't on you Walker."

"How's Joan?"

"She's always been a rock, she's putting up a good face for her son, she's going to be up for Calder's old job, one thing Arthur did was bury Joan's involvement. He took all the heat for everything the CIA did in the Balkans and no one is asking questions, it's convenient for the powers that be."

McQuaid eases off the car and towards Annie. "Let's not talk about it for just a minute." He puts his curled fingers on her cheek then leans into her and he pulls her close. They kiss for a long time.

"You disobeyed orders to call in twice a day."

"This isn't the Navy McQuaid, I kept Arthur in the loop. You needed to recuperate, you're looking well, about 15 pounds lighter?"

"Yeah, I'm getting it back as I get back into my routine."

"Maybe just get five of it back."

"Ouch, Annie Walker, didn't know you were so superficial."

"I'm just used to men who can keep up with me."

"You know that makes me feel hopeful. I would love the opportunity to keep up with you. Shall we go have a toast to new beginnings?" Annie smiles, but there's sadness in her eyes, "Seems wrong to celebrate under the circumstances."

"I know how you feel, he was my mentor back at Annapolis and I owe him a lot for keeping McQuaid Security afloat the last couple of weeks."

"I can't stop thinking about Joan and Mac. Arthur wasn't around for his son Teo, Mac was his second chance and now he'll grow up without a father."

They look at each other and smile weak smiles.

"Where shall we drive to?" Ryan responds, "Your place or mine?" McQuaid asks with a curl of his lips. "I'd like to go home alone," says a tired Annie. She just wants to shower and go to bed. "I think we should maintain our distance for a bit don't you?"

While in McQuaid's car heading towards Annie's apartment, Annie's phone vibrates. It was another call from Mingus. While Annie's support of McQuaid caused what seemed like an irreparable rift in her relationship with Auggie, it was also what brought her closer to McQuaid. Auggie was there for Annie, but on the mission, she was radio silent with the CIA and didn't want to share her intel until the last possible minute, she didn't need Langely to come in and screw things up.

Besides, she and Eyal had things under control. They worked well together and understood each other's thinking. Annie only briefed Auggie at the last minute before they took out Belenko's headquarters and operations. He was probably calling to read her the riot act. Annie didn't want to ignore the call again, she better just get it over with. She answers on speaker.

"Auggie"

"She answers!"

"Well, I was kind of busy taking down some terrorists."

"Joan needs you to come in and brief us on what went down in Turkey. She was pretty pissed that you didn't read us in."

"Time was of the essence, we couldn't wait for Langley to decide what to do."

"But you _and _Eyal or Mossad didn't even give us a chance Annie."

"Auggie, I'm too drained to argue with you now." Annie looks over at McQuaid who hears everything.

"I resigned remember?"

"Joan has a plan, to save your ass, she is telling the DNI that you were on an off book assignment and your resignation was all part of the operation to investigate McQuaid and the Chicago bombing."

"What!?" so now Joan is covering for me? Doesn't she have a lot of her plate already with Arthur's funeral?"

"She cares about you and I think work is helping her cope."

"I'll be in tomorrow, I desperately need a shower and a comfy bed."

"My bed is comfy." Annie looks embarrassed and blushes, "What about Hailey and Natasha? I think they'd both draw the line at another woman in your bed."

"We haven't talked, really talked in a long time Walker, I can fill you in."

"Not today. I really am tired."

"Are you okay? Did you have an episode in Turkey?"

"No, I'm fine," she lied. She did have an episode in Turkey.

"You're with him aren't you?"

Annie is silent. She doesn't want to lie again, but she doesn't want to give up the truth either.

"Got it, see you at the funeral tomorrow morning?"

"I'll be there," says Annie.

"Annie, you know how the agency treats people who go off reservation without orders to do so, Joan has a plan. You can keep your job at the CIA."


	3. Chapter 3: Clear Record

Ryan looks over at Annie after she hangs up with Auggie. Although his curiosity was definitely peeked, he doesn't mention Auggie's comment about Annie going over to his comfy bed or their beer date. He starts to speak about a game plan for Annie.

"Annie, Auggie is right. You need a plan and you're lucky Joan is willing to go out on a limb to save your career at Langley. From where the agency stands you have a lot of explaining to do. You lied to them about your heart, about my visit to you, and abetting me when I was a wanted man. Taking a job at my company to spy on me is the perfect out for you. You have to go along with Joan's plan. You have to maintain the cover that you resigned from the CIA to investigate me and my company's link to Chicago. It's the only way to save your career at the CIA."

Annie is looking out the window in deep thought. "When did you cook up this plan with Joan?" She looks over at McQuaid to see his guilty face. "I'm not sure I want to stay at the CIA. Though it was a cover, I rather enjoyed my time in the private sector. The CIA will keep me at a desk. That's not the way I want to spend the rest of my life."

"Annie, you will figure out the details later. Just clear your name of any impropriety first, leave honorably, then you can take your career in the direction you want. I don't want to be the reason you lose your job or the reason they wipe away every good thing you have done for this country. You have risked your life too many times to let those bureaucrats take anything away from you."

Annie is still staring out the window at the beautiful DC cityscape. She was not accustomed to anyone else looking out for her except maybe Auggie. Auggie was her past, maybe McQuaid was her future?

"Listen to Auggie and Joan, they know you and they know how the agency operates."

Ryan drops Annie off at her apartment. "We have to get things straightened out before we have that reunion."

He fishes through his glove compartment for a new phone. Annie notes a stash of phones, tracking devices, two guns, a Colt 1911 new agent 45 and a Nano by Beretta. She smiles. "Here, take this, it is untraceable, I'll call you."

"Not the standard tissues and condoms one would find in a man's glove compartment."

"Walker, condoms would break down in a hot car. I'm smarter than that! Besides, I'm a classy guy who doesn't keep condoms in my cars."

She laughs. He loves her laugh. She eyes his guns.

"You need a weapon?"

"You really do know a way to this girl's heart. This would be the second gun you've gifted me."

"A distinction, I'm honored to have."

"I do need one as a matter of fact."

"Take your pick then."

Annie chooses the Nano. "Nice choice." He leans in and they have a long kiss before she heads into her building. He stays in his car idling until she disappears inside.

Annie turned around to see that Ryan was waiting for her to go into the building before driving away. She drops her bag and purse by her door and heads straight to the bathroom to take a long shower before logging on to signal her safe return to Eyal. She also looks up cardiologists before turning in for the night. It's finally time to address her heart openly.

The next day is Arthur's funeral. Not many people are in attendance. Annie sits by Auggie. After the service, Annie goes to Joan and gives her a hug. Joan tells her "Thank you for all you've done for me and Arthur the last couple of years. I know working for the CIA has taken a toll on you, please don't think you were responsible for Arthur's death, that was put in motion years ago."

"If there's anything you need, I'm here for you Joan. I'm sorry for the tension between us since you found out about my heart."

"I'll see you back at the DPD to discuss your future in my division. Thank you for coming. Not many were brave enough to show."

Annie was happy to have a familiar face greet her upon her return the day before, but today was a sad day. She just left Arthur Campbell's funeral. Auggie was there, he was driven by Barber. After she talked with Joan, Annie went up to Auggie. They had spoken on the phone after she arrived, but their relationship was far from where it once was.

"Hi Auggie, Eric."

"Hi Annie, you're here, I mean you're back, of course you'd be here, Arthur was important to you, he was your boss at the CIA and at McQuaid Security, why wouldn't you be here. Okay, I'll shut up now, Auggie, I'll be by the car, nice to see you Annie and thanks as usual for taking down the bad guys." says a rambling Barber.

"Good to see you." The joke never got old and Auggie chuckled as did Annie. In the past, they would have hugged or even shared a peck on the cheek under these circumstances. But today, at Arthur's funeral, there was just awkwardness. "Listen Auggie, I never apologized, I'm sorry I kept you out of the loop while I was in Turkey. Things between us, well, I knew you were upset with me and I needed to work without agency interference. I hope you know that I don't mean to deliberately hurt you."

"Annie, everything you've ever done since joining the CIA has been for the good of this country and those you love. While I don't always agree with your decisions, I always understand the reasons behind them. I just wish you would talk to me, talk to me like you used to."

"Too much has happened to me and between us, I'm sorry for everything," says Annie as she gets closer to Auggie and gives him a peck on the cheek. "We'll talk more later when I get to the office okay?"

As Annie turns away, she sees McQuaid, he had been watching her and Auggie. She gives him weak smile and walks to her car. As she walked, she realized how much she had she missed Washington D.C. and Virginia. She identified what she was feeling when she landed and saw McQuaid. . . it was the comfort of knowing that she arrived home. This place, the people here, the memories, made it her home. Washington D.C was the place she lived the longest and spent the most time in her life. It didn't feel the same as when she last returned full of secrets to hide. True, she still had a heart condition that didn't seem to be improving, but she felt an ease she had not felt in ages when she touched down. She remembered her intention to put down roots a couple of years ago. She was finally ready to do that and felt the worst that had happened to her was over.

McQuaid was close to being fully exonerated from the Chicago attacks and failed motorcade bombing. He was back at work though on a lighter than usual schedule by the time Annie returned from her mission. When he saw her step out of the plane, he noticed how tired she looked. Still beautiful, she was wearing a khaki anorak with skinny black jeans and a tank top under, their eyes met and they smiled at each other with eyes locked for what seemed like eternity before she reached him. In that moment, Ryan knew again, as he had known that hour they made love in his safe house, that he wanted to spend the rest of his days with Annie Walker.

After the funeral Annie spends the remainder of the day restocking her fridge and going for a long run. She picks up all her mail from her P.O. Box and goes through the mountain of bills and junk mail. Looks like her lease is up at the end of the month. After an afternoon of completing reports and timelines, she meets Auggie at the DPD.

Annie listens again to the plan Auggie and Joan had come up with. Auggie made some dummy trails to support the story that he and Annie were working on an off the book op to investigate McQuaid after Annie grew suspicious of him. She had to act as if she were lying to her handler and superiors by disregarding orders. Annie had to admit that the trio crafted a believable story because most of it was in fact true minus the part that Calder sanctioned the operation. "Wait, where's Calder?"

"Well, we owe this plan to the Sheriff too," says Auggie.

"Calder took a post abroad. He realized the position wasn't what he had aspired to become. The DCI was about to take him overt and Calder realized if he wanted to stay in the shadows, he had to make a move," said Joan.

Annie is not surprised, Calder was unapologetically ambitious, but being in the office didn't suit him. She knew he loved the field and missed it, he was someone who liked the excitement of being in the field just as much as Annie, she saw that when she worked with him to take Henry Wilcox down.

Annie agrees to go along with the story. Her suspension and resignation were all an act to support her off book mission to infiltrate and spy on McQuaid which paid off in the end. The higher ups wanted to put everything to bed, so they were quick to accept the story. Annie was called to a couple of hearings and had to endure a long polygraph, but it was all wrapped up in a matter of a week with Joan's efficiency. She was pouring herself into work to get over Arthur's death. She took over as DCS when Calder vacated his office.

Annie felt guilty that she was all of a sudden, hailed by the CIA as a hero again. She proved her loyalty and the depths of her willingness to sacrifice personal safety and happiness for the sake of her country, yet Arthur was dead. Annie was given another service medal, a cash award, and a couple month's paid leave to start as soon as her debriefs were over.

Though she was granted a clean record free of the suspension after bringing new intel to the CIA, Annie still wasn't sure she wanted to continue working for the DPD because of how she had been treated and because of how the division was yanked around. In the end, her main goal was to stop the terrorists who killed her comrades. She realized how and with whom she accomplished that wasn't important.


	4. Chapter 4: Together

Annie was tired, she had been in debrief after debrief and called into numerous hearings in the aftermath of Chicago, the motorcade and Istanbul. It was finally coming to an end. A condition of her reinstatement at the CIA was that she would finally go into therapy. McQuaid was in just as many meetings and hearings as she was, sometimes they overlapped and were sitting side by side recounting their actions. A lot of it was sheer bullshit and formalities to get to the fine details that the policy makers needed to know in case they had to answer to the American public about use of funds. They kept their relationship professional in public and they denied any romantic involvement during the hearings to avoid any accusations of impropriety.

They initially spent a few working meals together to go over their testimonies with lawyers. He drove her home at least a couple of nights a week. They spent many nights on the phone talking. One night Ryan showed up at her door as she was giving her punching bag a work out. He said he had some questions about her version of events related to the day he met her at the National Arboretum.

"Were you followed?"

"I'm just as good at what I do as you are. NO, I wasn't followed. I parked three blocks away and paid cash for this take out so it just looks like I was out for dinner. And I don't care if anyone knows Annie. Everything is nearly wrapped up and I have some questions for you about work. Are you going to let me in?"

Annie opens the door wider, she's sweaty and out of breath. "I'm in the middle of a work out, but come on in."

Ryan enters and puts down the take out. He looks around and says, "You like to keep your place sparse huh?"

"You want to give me decorating tips or are you brave enough to hold the bag?"

Ryan smiles, he loves the way she talks back to him. He walks over to the bag and holds it. She's quite strong despite her heart condition.

"Ask away," says a curious Annie. "You came to ask me some questions remember?"

"I read your timeline. How did you know the flowers you received were from me? What made you go to the meet again if you knew it was me? And the fact that every agency was hunting for me didn't give you pause? Why? Was it because you had feelings for me?" asks Ryan.

Annie sweaty from her work out looks up at him and stops punching. She tosses him some pads to block her punches. She starts to hit at the pads, left hooks, right hooks, jabs galore. She's good and fast on her feet. They continue working out finally they fall into each other's arms after a rough session practicing hand-to-hand combat. They eat the take out on the floor laughing without any cares. It was the most relaxed either had been in a long time.


	5. Chapter 5: Past Loves

One of their nights together at Annie's apartment, Ryan tells her about his wife, how they met while they were both at the Naval Academy. She went on to law school and supported him as he decided to train for Navy Seals. He passed the rigorous training and was assigned to a Seal Team. He worked many missions taking him away for weeks at a time without any contact with her. Then one day, he was pulled out of a deep cover mission. She had been sick, breast cancer. She was in chemo for weeks before she realized it was time to notify him to say good-bye. The cancer was too aggressive and not caught early enough. She was self-less, always thinking of him and his safety. He later learned that she knew a lump was found the last time he was home, but there wasn't a definitive result yet on the imaging so she kept it from him. She knew what it was to be married to a soldier, she knew a distracted soldier was a dead soldier. She also knew how much his career meant to him. So he went on the mission, blissfully unaware that his wife had a deadly cancer growing inside her.

"Anyway, I tell all my men now to take care of their wives and if anything is amiss at home they always have a ticket out. At the end of the day, this is a job and it's family that matters. I'm not going to live with any regrets."

Annie takes everything he tells her in. "I'm so sorry Ryan."

"It was a long time ago, now your turn Walker, tell me about the loves of your life".

"And what makes you think I had more than one? You only had one, which honestly is surprising."

"What can I say, I was and am a one woman kind of man. Besides, I met Kelly when I was young, we were 18, our first year at the Academy. You're older and wiser and how could someone like you still be unattached. And someone like you must have had more than one man love you."

"Older and wiser McQuaid? Not real smooth to call a girl you are courting older."

"I am just saying you've had many years to wow men and I'm sure you've had more than handful fall in love with you. Let's just start with the last man you loved."

"You really want to do this?"

"So no man you've been with has ever asked this question?"

"Come to think of it, no. You're the first."

"Start talking Walker. Who were the men in your life?"

Annie sighs, not really wanting to talk about Auggie, Simon or Ben. Things were still not quite back to normal between her and Auggie. She would always hold him in high regard as her friend and hoped time would heal the rift between them. McQuaid turns to his side with his hand propping up his head to face Annie.

"The last guy and I were good friends for a long time before we started something. But it turned out the timing didn't sync up for us, our relationship was short-lived. That's about it."

"Really? Walker, you have to give me more than that. Why did it end?"

"Our end was a foregone conclusion. In our line of work, secrets are inevitable, being guarded and suspicious is part of the job that spills into other parts of our lives. He wasn't honest, he hid things from me, important things that affected my mission. I don't blame him now, I understand completely, it's part of the business. When I was new to this life, I thought it was possible to separate my personal life from my professional life, but that's hard when your professional life involves lying, manipulating and being someone different. We both accepted that we had to keep secrets, but there's a tipping point. I wanted our lives outside of our work to be more important, but it was too hard to separate. His last betrayal ended us, I found out in a way I wish hadn't."

"So he's the reason you told me you don't mix business with pleasure. I take it he's in the business, another operative?"

"I've said enough," says Annie.

"Is he why you're . . . so skittish? Why you shot me down from the moment we met, that is until you couldn't resist my charm?"

"All our relationships inform us. I was always good at keeping secrets, being in the CIA just taught me to become better and to use lies and subterfuge to complete my missions. It becomes a part of you and it doesn't lend itself to being in a healthy relationship. You said it yourself when we met, most spies are lying sons of bitches."

"Ah, but you proved me wrong. Well, let me rephrase that, I know you've lied to me, but I forgive those lies because of the reasons behind them."

Annie turns away from McQuaid, she's contemplating all her past relationships and how they were filled with lies and deception, but also had real moments. She's lost in thought.

"Walker, we have a chance. I've been honest with you since I came clean about Flint and Borz, I trusted you when the world was after me, this can be your chance, our chance. What secrets are left?"

"I'm not so sure, there's always the chance that I will have to lie and keep things from those close to me. It's the life of a spy. I've learned to expect the unexpected and getting comfortable is a mistake."

"Well, I'm all in, I understand everything you've had to do, you can tell me what you are allowed to tell me and I'm man enough to handle that. Now if you change your mind, you could really, I mean really, work for me, then we'll have no secrets."

He's given Annie something to think about. It was true, their relationship started out differently, Ryan might not know all there is to know about Annie yet, but that was different from outright lies and hidden actions. Ryan still had one big secret left and he knew he needed to come clean soon.


	6. Chapter 6: Peace and Normalcy

Note: Eyal appears.

Nearly a month into her leave Annie woke up in Ryan's master suite with nothing on but her underwear and a smile. It was comforting to have a carefree night's sleep. There were no terrorists to hunt down, no moles to root out, and no hesitation in her heart about Ryan. Last night he had asked her to move in with him again. It seemed too premature to entertain when he first asked her about a week ago. Annie had never in her adult life considered moving in with anyone. She always liked to have her own place to retreat to when she needed it. He asked her to sleep on it and when she woke up well rested and happy, she had an answer.

Annie couldn't remember the last time she lingered in bed. Since she returned from faking her death, she survived on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Her erratic sleep patterns probably didn't do her heart condition any good. Ryan was still asleep next to her and she was enjoying the warmth of his chest against her back. Part of her couldn't believe that she reached a point of peace and normalcy. It was as normal a life as it can get for two people who work in the intelligence realm. Annie lay there happily replaying her courtship with Ryan as he continued to sleep next to her.

Over the last couple of weeks, Annie gradually let herself enjoy being with Ryan. There were more nights like the first they spent together talking after Joan suspended Annie. They shared stories about the places they traveled, the cast of characters they met, the scrapes they narrowly escaped, their favorite foods, there was an ease to being together, finding out each other's quirks and likes and dislikes. Oddly, the stressful circumstances that brought the two together lead to a fast paced adrenalin filled shared history that forced each to reveal hidden parts of themselves that would take months to discover in a normal courtship. There was no romance or attraction on Annie's part after their initial meeting and unwelcomed partnership in Venezuela. In fact, she fought his advances at all costs since she needed to close her circle not widen it.

McQuaid was someone Annie tapped for information on Borz Altan, if they had only talked on the phone instead of meeting in person, would she be lying next to him now? They worked together albeit with tension on their mission through Venezuela and Columbia before she even began to feel something for him. But she refused to acknowledge it at first. She regarded her curiosity about him with little seriousness.

Meeting Ryan threw a wrench in the machine that had become her heart. She found that the rationalizations and logical arguments inside her head were failing to work. She couldn't convince herself to look away from him. Here was someone she built walls around the minute he showed interest, but he saw her at her frailest and didn't think less of her. They developed a rapport and trust despite approaching missions and situations in the field very differently. On Ryan's part, despite his bravado, he had the humility to admit that he learned a new trick or two from her. He was constantly impressed by Annie's expertise in crafting stories and covers on the fly. The girl had a great imagination.

Annie let her guard down slowly and truly enjoyed Ryan's company. He had proven to be trustworthy, he was the second person she confided in about her heart condition. When faced with evidence that McQuaid was implicated in the Chicago bombing, Annie knew it didn't add up, but Auggie's suspicions and accusations that she was compromised caused her to rethink her gut. She thought she spent enough time with Ryan to have a good read on what made him tick. The CIA had been down this road before where there was mounting evidence planted by Lena Smith against her and they acted rashly and deemed her a rogue operative. Then there was all the evidence pointing towards Arthur as a funder of terrorists in Columbia, again, there was more to the story. Annie had been loyal to the agency she served, but after all the debacles, she was no longer blind to the agency's institutional problems.

Annie continued her trip down memory lane. The CIA was rash and reactionary. They made judgments, often politically motivated. When McQuaid looked her in the eye and asked her to trust her instincts, she was trusting her heart and her mind. Truthfully they couldn't be separated. The evidence was not solid, it didn't make sense, so she let him walk away from her apartment and covered for him. The McQuaid she knew was wired to risk his life for his country. He had done it countless times and he had saved her at least three times. If she was a threat to his game plan, he could have gotten rid of her earlier. If he had been involved in Chicago why was the bunker still around? McQuaid wasn't that careless, he wouldn't make a mistake like that if he were behind the bombings. Annie knew he was meticulous and thorough in all avenues of his life.

Annie's thoughts went to a lull while in Istanbul with Eyal, the topic of conversation steered towards McQuaid. He asked a loaded question as he is skilled at doing. "So, you refused my advice to quit the CIA because of your heart, but you quit for Ryan McQuaid? Neshema, you hurt my feelings. Annie, when I thought I knew you. . . you surprised me."

Annie looks over at Eyal with a smile and a raised eyebrow. "I'm glad I can still astonish you after all these years working together. I didn't quit for Ryan, I quit so I could do my job."

"So it is still always about the job for you? I told you that was the saddest thing I had ever heard and I stand by it."

"I followed a hunch and turns out I was right, there _was_ something amiss at McQuaid. We managed to stop a terror attack and assassination attempt on American soil. So I'd say, my hunch was right."

"Oh, "we" managed, I suppose McQuaid was your partner."

"He was busy getting nearly killed to get to the bottom of it, but yeah, we worked together, why are you jealous?"

"Okay, no need to get so touchy and one can only be jealous of a rival, he couldn't possibly rival me for your affections now could he? Besides, I would only have cause to be jealous if you were mine and you're your own woman Annie Walker, that much I've learned," responded Eyal with a wink and a smile.

Eyal always knew how to use flirtation to lighten the mood.

Eyal interrupted her thoughts by asking point blank, "Is this like Simon? Because, you know the only time I've seen you this forlorn was when you were entangled with that Simon character. You care deeply for this man, I can sense it."

Annie starts to squirm in her seat, "What do you think is going on in there, I wish we had ears inside."

"Annie, it's okay to find happiness, treat each meal as if it's your last applies to relationships too. If you love him, show him everyday and accept his affections too. And that's all your sage friend has to say on the subject. Let's move in for a closer look, shall we?"

Annie smiles, "Now that's what I'm talking about." They check their weapons, Annie texts Arthur so he knows where she is, he is effectively her handler for this mission. Then Annie, puts her hand on Eyal's arm and says, "Thank you, thank you for being here with me." He gives her a pat on her hand and says, "Always, anything for you Neshema."

Annie returns to the present as Ryan shifts in his sleep. He pulls her closer, he's awake now. "Mmm, glad you're still here," says McQuaid as he nuzzles into the top of head and kisses her head softly, breathing in the scent of her hair. "Some days I wake up and you're not here. I can get used to waking up next to you everyday." He's hinting without asking directly. He wants to ask if she will share his home, but he knows enough to let her be. Annie turns to face him. They smile at each other. "I've been up for the last thirty minutes, but didn't feel like getting up to work out." Ryan's brows furrow, he knows how much Annie likes to get moving bright and early, he came to be impressed by her discipline though she had never served in the military. "Are you feeling okay? The Annie I know is up before the rest of the world to swim 50 laps or run a 10K or work the hell out of a punching bag."

"Relax, I'm fine, just wanted to stay here and didn't want to wake you up. I can get up now if you want me to."

"Don't even think about it. You're where you need to be right now."

He kisses her more intensely with each passing second. She straddles him and lets the sheets covering her fall to her waist. He looks up into her eyes as she leans down to kiss the spot where his scars are still pink. She moves farther down, then he stops her and does the same, kissing her scars. It was symbolic and tender, each wanting to heal the other's wounds. They continue their intimate moment until they are both satisfied. Afterwards as they lie in each other's arms, Annie says, "I can get used to waking up next to you everyday too."

"Does this mean. . ."

"Ryan, I need more time."

"Why postpone the inevitable?"

"You're funny," responds Annie with a smile. Ryan kisses her head, she loves it when he does that.

"Later this week? That's not soon enough Walker. I'll come help you after work today. I would have thought a glamorous and mysterious covert operative like yourself would have a closet full of shoes, purses and outfits to go with your covers."

"Ha, ha. I did have quite a wardrobe courtesy of my CIA NOC, but until recently, I've been dead and you can't take it to the grave. Living simply has had advantages. Auggie told me my sister couldn't bear to pack up my cottage. It worked out well, he told her he'd take care of it, so he packed up my old place and put all my things in storage. I haven't even had a chance to go there since I returned. And I haven't made a decision yet so helping me move is premature."

Ryan didn't know about this storage unit. It was the first he heard about it. "I'll meet you there then."

"I'm not ready to go through the remnants of my old life. I need to work up the courage to contact my sister. My family still thinks I'm in the ground. A fresh start is what I need, but. . . "

Ryan feels that there are many more layers to Annie Walker to peel.

"You're the definition of courage Annie. I am happy to be part of your fresh start. Say the word and I'll fly you out to San Francisco to see Danielle."

Annie is surprised that he knows where her sister resides, but then she's not. He had done some recon on her before they met and had continued to surprise her by reading about her heart condition. She wonders what else he knows about her.

"I have an appointment with a heart specialist later this week and I have to get some things in order before I attempt an approach. My sister is formidable."

She sounds a bit ominous, "Some things in order?" Annie doesn't want to see Danielle without knowing her long-term prognosis. Truthfully, she didn't want to move forward with Ryan without knowing her prognosis either. He had lost his wife to a terminal illness and it had caused him years of misery, she didn't want him to feel any obligation for her care and she knew he would.

"Don't you have a job to go to Mr. CEO?"

"Hey, when's your appointment? I'll go with you."

"I'm off to make that coffee."

Ryan notes her deflection, she used that tactic often, but he also looks at the time. He has to go to work so there's no time to quibble with her, it is much later than his usual start time. He lets her last comment go and gets up to read and respond to his emails before he heads to the shower. He calls from the shower that he'll pick her up from her apartment after work.

As Ryan showers he thinks happily to the day she returned. She was a bit banged up, but targets eliminated, McQuaid was on the tarmac with hydrangeas when her flight landed. She looked tired, but always radiant to him, hair blowing in the light breeze and that sweet smile he loved to see. He wasn't sure how she would receive him, he hadn't heard from her while she was away, only reports through Arthur before he was killed. He would have flown to Istanbul himself to pick her up had his doctors not stopped him. Annie did have a history of not returning when expected, he wanted to make sure she returned to him. Ryan learned, Annie teamed up with a man who had helped her figure out her medical condition. This man was someone she went to when at her worst and when she needed someone trustworthy to watch her back. Ryan was curious about Eyal Levin and hoped to meet him one day.

As he finished showering, he resolved to be that person for Annie, he desperately wanted her to trust him like she trusted Auggie and Eyal, but he still had one thing left he needed to come clean about. He just needed to find the right time to tell her. Maybe he should have last night. He knew he had to tell her the truth at some point, he couldn't risk losing her right now. There was someone else watching Annie and he needed to make sure she was safe first. He brought a ring for her, it was sitting in his safe. He planned to propose soon. He knew she was the one for him, but he had to wait for her to catch up.

Annie was up and out for a run by the time he was dressed and off to work. She left a note, "have a great day" with a smiley face. He loved her notes. He had a tail on her, poor guy had to keep up with Annie all day.


	7. Chapter 7: 3 Little Words, I Love You

Annie was about a month into her leave. She would be returning to work in another month. Mostly she and Ryan spent nights in, eating simple dinners and sharing favorite movies with each other. It wasn't all about the sex, they would often just fall asleep on the couch, both still recovering from physical and emotion wounds they collected the last few months. They would also work out together, sparring, spotting each other. Annie loved being competitive with Ryan. She was much better at footwork due to her lighter frame and she loved rubbing it in.

Now that her medical condition was no longer a secret, Annie found a local doctor to see. She had Avram transfer all her records to Dr. Wendy Lee. It took a little time to get in, but her appointment coming up later in the week. She hadn't had an episode since her mission in Turkey. Eyal was there to see her through it. He had urged her to consider surgery after her return and she took his advice.

Annie met McQuaid at a bar. She had spent the day house hunting. A bunch of the guys from McQuaid had come back from a successful mission and they were all out to celebrate. It was a joint mission with the CIA's DPD, and Auggie was there too. It was a fun time, all the trash talk and drinking games reminded Annie of her early days at the CIA and nights at Allen's Tavern with Jai and Auggie. Annie shared a quiet moment with Auggie. They hadn't seen each other in a couple of weeks. They were at a couple of debriefs and hearing together, but didn't have much opportunity to chat.

"So, how was working with the guys at McQuaid?"

"Not so bad, bunch of cowboys, reminded me a lot of the guys I worked with while in the Special Forces. A lot of McQuaid's guys were once Army guys, some Special Forces. Guess once you get to know people, they're not so bad."

"Is this you coming around to PMCs?"

"It's all about the common mission Walker."

"Auggie, we haven't had a chance to talk other than work. I mean really talk about everything that happened between us. I want to make sure we're okay."

"Annie, it's all water under the bridge."

"Really?"

"Really. Just like when we came back and told me you wanted things to go back to the way they were when we were operative and handler. I want that for us now. I get what you were getting at the day you returned."

"What do you think I was I getting at?"

"Just that it's hard to do our jobs when we have emotional attachments. For you, the last couple of months have been about completing missions, doing your job. It was all you thought you had left. You didn't think you had me, that I had you, had your back. You wanted to focus on your job and I didn't get that, but I get it now."

"Ok, well, my job won't be needing a handler anymore unless I get cleared to work in the field. So looks like we won't be having much to do with each other at work until that happens."

"Until that happens? You're looking to get cleared for the field?"

"I don't know. I feel lost when I'm not in the field, but the field has cost me a lot. I still have some things to work out. I have been looking at options for surgery. Having a biopsy done soon and with that last piece of information the surgeon can make an assessment."

Auggie liked that she was confiding in him though he knew he was being cold towards her. He was still angry that she didn't trust him and put him in a corner when she returned. Too much had happened between them for her to always choose the job and the mission over him, but she chose her missions and she chose McQuaid.

"I'll be there for you. When will you know?"

"I have that biopsy appointment later this week. I have some more tests to get done before my doctor. . ."

Before Annie finishes, McQuaid had snuck up behind her. McQuaid noticed Annie with Auggie from across the room. He knew they were close, he wasn't exactly sure how close, but he had a suspicion. He made his way over to them, caught up in his curiosity about their conversation. Ryan wasn't exactly jealous, he was still putting together the puzzle that was Annie Walker. He wanted to know her.

"Auggie! Thank you for the tech support on our little joint venture."

"Glad it all turned out peachy!"

"I want to thank you for helping Annie out and giving her leeway to investigate Caitlyn, I don't think I ever mentioned to you how grateful I was."

Auggie is pissed. Who does he think he is? Of course he will always help Annie, he knew her for way longer than McQuaid and they had history together that McQuaid can't possibly know.

Auggie responds with some irritation. "Annie and I go back a long way, I'll always have her back! If you will excuse me, there's another stout waiting for me. Annie, see you back at Langley in about a month? If you get a date on that thing we were talking about, let me know, I'll be there."

"Bye Auggie," says Annie as she gives him a kiss.

Annie turns to McQuaid, "What was that about?"

"What do you mean? Just wanted to thank the man."

"Looked like a pissing match to me."

Auggie knew Annie for years, he worked closely with her, McQuaid wanted Annie to let him in like she let Auggie in. McQuaid had put two and two together and after that exchange he felt his hunch was right, he knew Auggie was Annie's last love. He wasn't one to feel threatened, but where Annie was concerned he wasn't always rational.

"You're reading too much into it."

"I think I'm going to head back to my place tonight, it's getting late, I'm not sure all the fried bar food is agreeing with me." says a tired looking Annie.

"You look far too beautiful to head home alone Ms. Walker, spend the night?" asks Ryan as he puts his curled fingers to her cheek.

Ryan wishes this dance they did would come to an end. Where would he spend the night? His place or her place or alone at home? Annie smiles, hesitant. "There's nothing left to the imagination if we spend every night together."

"I'm still waiting for that answer, there's plenty of room at my place for your few belongings Annie and for you to retreat if you need it. Why don't you just move in before you have to head back to work and get sucked into Langley's hours."

Annie looks down then back up into Ryan's eyes. "Stop pushing Ryan. If you must know, I want to get in to see the doctor first and I'm not sure, this pace. . . I need some more time."

Suddenly it dawns on McQuaid. He realizes the root of her hesitation and he's frustrated and it shows as he pulls Annie to a quiet corner and speaks intensely, "Annie, your heart and your prognosis, doesn't matter. When are you going to realize that you don't have to think about others at your own expense. Don't hesitate on my account. I'm a big boy and what matters is that I love you and I want to us to work, I want us to be together."

It was the first time he had told her he loved her. He didn't quite mean to say it at that moment. He knew he loved her for a long time, but he wasn't planning on telling her at a bar full of half drunk soldiers. He had spent a large sum of money on an engagement ring for Annie just a few days ago. Once McQuaid made up his mind to go after something, he went after it. He hadn't loved another since his wife Kelly and from the moment he met Annie, he had a feeling he had met his match again.

"Everything is happening so fast," Annie whispers. "I'm sorry, I didn't plan on saying 'I love you' in this setting, it wasn't very romantic was it?" Ryan continues in a softer voice. "The pace, doesn't it suit people like us? What I learned over the years and especially recently is that every day is precious, everyday is a gift, wouldn't you agree with that?" She smiles, moves in closer, aware that his employees and Auggie and Calder are still at the bar, she whispers, "Someone else close to me gave me similar advice about enjoying every meal as if it were one's last. I am intense, I'll give you that. I'll meet you at your place." Ryan watches her as she walks towards the exit.

McQuaid is a happy man. He quickly works the room and heads to his car.

On the drive over, Annie hears the words Ryan uttered, "I love you." It makes her smile, but she's still worried about things moving too fast.

Although she was happy, Annie was always cautious after her many failed relationships. The rug was pulled out from under her one too many times for her to let go with Ryan. She had to admit that she had fallen for him.


	8. Chapter 8: The Beginning

Once inside together, McQuaid began to press Annie about her heart again. She seemed better, healthier during her time off, but that was only because she wasn't under the constant stress of being a field operative. She hadn't had an episode. Now that the agency knew about her condition, he asked if she had considered the surgical option though he already knew she was considering it.

"So, are you thinking about having surgery?"

Annie wasn't surprised he brought it up and had read the current research on the treatment options. She knew he had looked into her illness before, but neither of them talked about her condition directly.

Annie, "just not sure I want to be under the knife. There's no guarantee even with the surgery and there are risks associated with it. I'll find out more after my appointment."

"I can go with you to your appointment," offers McQuaid.

"I haven't been to the doctor with a chaperone since I turned 13," says Annie in a joking manner.

"Walker, are we together because I'm with you, I need you to be in this with me too. You might think you need to have some resolution to your condition before you give me an answer about living together, but it makes no difference to me. 'We are in this together.' You remember when you said that to me?"

Annie smiles and walks into the bathroom. "It will take a chunk of time and after all the time you've been away from your company, you can't afford to spare a couple of hours. I'll tell you how it goes. I will be fine and if we're going to be together, you need to know that I can take care of myself too. I need a shower," said Annie with a sly smile. She was doing it again, deflecting.

Ryan funs his hands through is hair as he unbuttons his shirt, he feels frustrated as he was before. He wants her to let him in, but she still is so dogged in her attempts to guard herself and go at things alone. He yells after her, "Your moving in does not have to be contingent on what the doctor says. It doesn't matter what the doctor says. And I could have gotten you in to see that doctor sooner you know? Money is good for a reason. . .".

As Annie looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, she thinks to a night a couple of weeks ago when she pulled back from Ryan. They were spending nearly every evening together. She needed some space. Although she enjoyed herself when she was McQuaid, it was hard for her, she had been alone for so long, silent and lost in her own thoughts. It was getting to be too much to spend so much time with just one person, it was in those mundane moments when a person gets to know someone else and opportunities to reveal oneself appear. She was uncomfortable with the honesty and vulnerability of daily life. It didn't feel comfortable to her. She was not used to being her true self with someone. Her job had taken a toll on her and truthfully she got used to being someone else, comfortable playing different people, and concealing herself out of necessity.

If she were honest, she didn't know her true self anymore. She went off the grid for a couple of days to get some distance from Ryan. She backpacked on her own along the Appalachian Trail. He found out she was taking off and would be back in a few nights only because of his surveillance of her. Truthfully, she hadn't ever had a "normal" relationship. She had nothing to compare her time with Ryan to, just a string of heartbreaks. She wasn't used to sharing so much time with someone. He sensed this and didn't push her too hard, he was beginning to master how to handle her moods.

She left when he was away on a short business trip. When he returned, he found the note she left him. He felt hurt to not be invited along with her and not being told where she was going, but he also knew she needed the time. He was concerned that she would exert herself out in the wilderness, but he knew she'd be safe. He made sure of it once he figured out where she went. He had a man stationed along the trail to keep an eye on her. It was wrong and he knew it, but he couldn't help his deep need to care for her. When she came back he let her know how pissed he was that she just left, it was their first blow out fight. He was upset that she thought it was okay to just disappear. But making up was worth it. During her time away Annie missed McQuaid. It was just what she needed to recharge and realize she wanted to make it work with him. It was time she allowed herself to open up to someone else. But old habits die hard, she still had a hard time letting him in for fear that she would get hurt again.

Annie gets undressed for her shower, she just left McQuaid frustrated in the bedroom. She shut him down. If there was bad news at her appointment she wanted to hear it by herself, to process it first, she didn't want someone else with her for her appointment. She was so used to handling crises on her own, she wasn't sure what she would do with another person present.

Annie turns on the shower and gets in. A minute later, Ryan is next to her. He looks at her and says, "No matter what happens at your appointment, I want you to know I love you." Annie doesn't reciprocate the sentiment, but Ryan is okay with it because he knows she will come around and he enjoyed the challenge. Annie simply looked into his eyes and said, "It's not easy for me to let people in, I'm trying."

"That's all I'm asking," said Ryan as he brought her towards him and kissed her, Annie kissed him back. He ran his hands down her sides as she pressed her hands into his back, their kisses became more passionate as they let their warm wet bodies do the work.

After their shower the two land in bed where they spend the next hour talking. Ryan asks where Annie plans on living when her lease is up if she doesn't move in with him. McQuaid's surveillance had picked up on Annie looking for a new place since they last discussed her moving in with him. He also heard her on the phone making arrangements to look at rentals a few days ago. She didn't mention any of it to him and he was a bit hurt, but still confident that he would persuade her to move in. "How'd you know my lease was up?"

Ryan thinks fast, he slipped up. That was a detail she never revealed to him. "I figure that was the reason you were circling rental ads in the paper."

"Oh, hope you don't mind me marking up your paper." He's relieved that she bought it. "One of the things I like about you is that you still read the actual paper. Something we have in common."

Ryan sighs as if in defeat, "So if you aren't entertaining a move here, tell me what you are looking for, maybe I can help you look," Annie says she is looking at a couple of small homes with a yard. "You know during my little retreat to nature a couple of weeks ago, I had a lot of time to myself to think. I realized there is silver lining in being stuck at a desk."

"Really? I thought you were going to fight that."

"Even if I get through surgery, there's no guarantee I'd be cleared for field work. I've always wanted a dog and since I won't be gallivanting around the world at a moment's notice, I can be around to take care of a the dog I dreamed about having since I was a little girl."

Ryan is intrigued and completely entranced, he wants to her more about her dreams and the wishes of the girl who grew up to be Annie Walker. She hadn't spoken much about being a girl, he wanted to know everything about her that wasn't in the files or records he managed to obtain.

"Have you seen the grounds here? There's plenty of room for a dog." She smiles, she did want to say yes to Ryan, but something was still stopping her. "Ryan, your place is great, but it isn't me. It's much too. . ." Annie trails off.

"Too what?" says McQuaid who took pride in his estate. "It's just not what I'm used to, don't get me wrong, your place is beautiful. It's just not what I'm used to. I'm more quaint and cozy and you're into sprawling and luxurious. Anyway, I always wanted a dog as a kid, but moving around so much made it hard to keep a pet. Not all the places we lived allowed them. So I'm looking for a small place with a yard."

"Ok, how about we look for that place together. I'm up for a change. So, what kind of dog am I going to be living with?"

"You're awfully confident as usual. I can't see you living in a small cottage, nothing you have is small."

"Would you consider trying it out here at my place? Annie, we started fast and there's no reason to slow down. Besides we're together 5 out of 7 nights, what's two more nights and a shared closet? There's plenty of room here and it's fully secure and safe."

"No deal if we have to share bathrooms and closets."

Ryan laughs.

"So seriously, a dog? I love dogs too and for the same reasons you named, I never got one."

"If I'm grounded for good, might as well be happy and have something to come home to."

"You will have me to come home to. So, what are we getting? Let me guess, a designer dog, a cocker spaniel or a poodle?"

Annie laughs hysterically. "Are those the kinds of dogs you see me with? Why?"

"Well, you're a stylish and chic woman and usually they have lap dogs that do nothing, but look fancy."

Annie keeps laughing. "Well, you don't really know me then McQuaid."

"I want to know you if you will let me in Annie, I love it when you talk to me, really talk to me. So what kind of dog _do _you want, I won't judge?

"Are you ready? I was thinking about a German Shepherd or a Rottweiler."

Ryan looks surprised, then he says, "Okay, I can see that, makes sense." I like German Shepherds. I'd get a Lab myself."

Annie says, "Labs? They're okay. Too happy, all wag and no bite."

"Too happy? You don't even want your dog to be happy? Walker, we have work to do."

Annie looks lost in thought after Ryan's last comment about her not even wanting a happy dog. She's quiet for a few minutes. He catches her like that often, looking off in deep thought or reminded of something she didn't want to share. He wishes she would share what was on her mind and hoped one day she would be more willing to open herself up to him.

Annie turns away from him, with her back to his chest, she then surprised him by saying, "On one of the bases where my Dad was stationed, there was a K9 Training Unit. I loved watching through the fence before and after school. German Shepherds are beautiful animals. I would dawdle every morning and afternoon to watch them train those dogs. They were always trying to get the officers to adopt the rejects. I begged each time I got wind of it, but never happened. Dad would always say, we couldn't care for a dog. It would just be a problem if we had to say goodbye. He wanted to prevent us from the disappointment and pain of saying goodbye to a family pet. I begged each time, saying we wouldn't have to say bye, if we kept the dog, the dog would be the thing that stayed the same with each move. I so wanted something to take with me each time, a constant, but he never relented. Anyway, ever since then I've had a thing for German Shepherds."

Ryan loved it when she shared pieces of her self, her history. He kissed her shoulder. "So, tell me what are we naming this dog? Did you imagine that?"

"We?"

"Yes, we, let's get a dog together. God knows I am in and out of the country a lot. I can't get a dog on my own, but if you're here too, we can make it work. And it will be good practice for a family one day."

"Well that's awfully presumptuous of you McQuaid! From moving in, to getting a dog to having a family? We hardly know each other."

"Isn't that what we've been doing these last few weeks? Getting to know each other? I'll ask you a question I've been wondering, do you want children?"

"Wow, where did that come from?"

"Just an innocent question, are you going to use your signature charm to deflect it or will you answer it?"

Annie thinks for a moment, a couple of weeks ago he asked her about her boyfriends and now they are talking about getting a dog and having children? Annie in her adult life had never reached a point where she talked about moving in and having children. This was entirely new territory and for a minute she wasn't scared. It was beginning to feel right. She had to admit that Ryan was everything she could want in a man, he understood her work, he could keep up with her, and most of all he had always supported her.

Annie answers him, "I used to want children, but honestly, that dream drifted farther and farther from reality the last few years. I didn't think it was fair for people in my line of work to have children."

"Your line of work is different now or it can be if you stick with the desk job, you'd be a great analyst and language expert and you would have the time for a family."

"And you? Did you and your wife think about having children?"

Ryan wasn't expecting to be asked about Kelly. "Kelly and I were so young when we met and married, children were far from our minds, we were both focused on our careers and work. We thought we there was plenty of time for kids down the line when we were both established. So I guess the answer is we thought about it, but didn't make any concrete plans."

"Well, I think about all I can handle now is a pup."

"So, a name then for this dog?"

"Ruby." She said confidently. "Ruby? You've thought about this a lot huh? Ruby, I like it."

"There are a couple of breeders here in Virginia, some of them supply the Army and Air Force with pups for military dog units. I was planning on going to visit them, but I need to find a place that will take pets."

"My place takes dogs, I have room for a whole litter of dogs. Maybe we'll get two, I'll get one for McQuaid Security, maybe it's time to explore a K9 division."

Annie smiles, "You are persistent."

"I don't give up, much like you."

"Well, what do you say, shall we plan a trip to the breeders?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes, let's get that dog together."

"To clarify, we are going to get a dog together and you're going to live here with me, with said dog. We're going to sleep in the same bed every night and wake up together, buy groceries together, mix our laundry, and. . . "

"You can stop gloating and kiss me now."

This makes Ryan very happy, he talks as he kisses her "We'll make a weekend of it. I have a small beach house in Southern Virginia, a short walk over a dune to the water. You would love it there, it's secluded and beautiful."

Annie kisses back and says, "A small beach house? Nothing you have is small McQuaid."

She always makes him laugh and he doesn't mind when she pokes fun at him.

For the first time Annie is making plans, longer term plans than she ever made. Her life had been day to day, never a thought about next week or even next month until recently. She felt differently this time. She was able to make plans, it dawned on her that she was giving more of herself to Ryan than anyone else she had been with since joining the CIA. They both fall asleep quite content in each other's arms.


	9. Chapter 9: The End

Annie wakes up completely content, she plans on spending the day at her apartment packing up her things. There is part of her that still feels cautious so she plans on keeping her storage units scattered about town, she would only move her bare essentials to Ryan's. She heard the shower come on as she remained in the very comfortable bed looking out at the wall of windows in Ryan's master bedroom. She saw a couple of birds perched on a branch outside. The doorbell rang and they flew away. She called out to Ryan, but he didn't hear her, he was singing in the shower again. She put on his shirt and pants and ran to the door. It was Jim.

"Oh, good morning Annie," he says with a wink. Annie smiles slightly embarrassed.

"Morning Jim!"

"I'm just dropping off today's briefs and a few pending contracts to review before I go to Budapest. Will you make sure Ryan gets them? He has some meetings on his calendar out of the office today so he needs these for them."

Annie feeling embarrassed and self-conscious to be in Ryan's shirt in front of his colleague, says "Of course I'll make sure he gets these."

"Jim turns to leave, but turns her head back to say, "Has Bossman given you a tour of the whole compound yet? "

"I think I've seen most of it."

"What did you think of his signature command central panic room? Has one at all of his properties."

Annie says, "Now that I haven't seen yet." She guesses that they've been too busy doing other things at his place and perhaps he would show her the panic room once she moves in. They didn't have need for one like they did when Ryan was being hunted by every government agency in the states.

Annie smiles and says, "Thanks Jim."

So Ryan still has a few secrets himself. Annie finds it amusing. She begins to look for access to this panic room. She wasn't surprised after seeing his safe house, of course his primary residence would be fully equipped with the latest security. Annie wondered how many properties Ryan owned, she never asked. A sly smile forms on her face and she decides to locate this panic room.

Annie still hears Ryan singing joyfully in the shower. The man can even carry a tune. He probably thought she was still lounging in bed. She looks around the Master and thinks about the layout of the house and the house's exterior. She had been at Ryan's dozens of times. But she had never noticed that adjacent to the wall of windows was a wall of built-ins and a wardrobe. Behind it there must have been a room. Because the next room was his living room and there was at least 6 feet by 8 feet of unaccounted for space. She felt around the wardrobe and found a panel with a keypad. She wasn't sure what to do. She got out her face blotters and ran it over the keypad to reveal the oils on the numbers. 1459. She new it was a four-digit number. McQuaid was a WW2 buff, he talked about the valor of that generation of men and how he strived to be like them. She tried 1945 and got it right. She was giddy, proud of herself for cracking open McQuaid's panic room, not once wondering why he hadn't shown it to her in the month they had spent together.

Once inside, straight ahead she saw security cameras showing the perimeter and inside of his home and another panel. Along the back wall was his collection of weapons, wall art of guns and knives and restraints, a shelf of food, scotch, bourbon, water and a generator. Annie is impressed, McQuaid is always prepared for the worst case scenario. His panic room was even fancier than the one at the safe house where she and McQuaid spent the night while he was being hunted. There's a rug under her feet, she lifts it up and finds what appears to be a hidden trap door, probably leads off the property.

There was a bank of screens to the right that all were off. Annie looked over to the left wall where there were two evidence boards. One was his hunt for the mole in his agency. The other was almost identical to the one Annie had worked off at the CIA on the Chicago bombing, but it also included pictures from Roger Bennett's apartment and photos of Annie.

Annie was puzzled, some of them were from the time before she worked with McQuaid and many were of her recently. There were pictures of her with Auggie and Roger and her meeting with Roger's contact at the Russian embassy and pictures of her having lunch with Eyal in Turkey. Annie is processing all the information and in deep thought. Well, she was working for him while in Turkey, perhaps he had someone tailing her? She's developed a sinking feeling in her stomach. She grabs her phone and takes as many photos as she can of the room. She turns on the screens that are off and sees that they are cameras showing the inside and outside of her apartment with multiple views.

Now it dawns on her, her mind is in hyper drive analyzing everything. McQuaid asked her to move in recently. It was all for some sick agenda of his. He was watching her. Had been watching her for a long time. She also found a stash of nitrate meds, a stack of files on her condition, research papers on treatments and another stack of files on her from the CIA detailing all her missions. There is a pile of jewel cases next to the screens on her apartment. The dates went back a couple of months to the time when she first met McQuaid. Annie is trying to take it all in, what were the last few weeks all about? Was any of it real? What was McQuaid after?

Annie starts to shake as the enormity of what she discovered sinks in. . .

She didn't notice Ryan had turned off the shower and is out of the bathroom. He is at the doorway to the control room with nothing but a towel around his waist and a look of desperation. He is cursing himself for not coming clean with Annie earlier, he wonders how he is going to walk his way out of the situation, not expecting what happens next.

The hairs rise on Annie's neck as she senses that she is no longer alone. Annie's instincts kick in and she moves quickly to the back wall where she grabs a gun and makes sure it is loaded. She also grabs a pair of cuffs. The quick thinking spy isn't at all rusty after a month out of the field.

Her watery eyes stare at him and says, "What is this? I let my guard down and I trusted you. I have got to be the stupidest girl in the world. God, what is wrong with me?"

Ryan, "Annie, you can still trust me. You're upset. Please put the gun down so we can have a calm discussion, so I can explain." It was reminiscent of Maracaibo and that night in Annie's apartment the two other times Annie had pulled a gun on Ryan. But unlike the other times, this time, he fears she won't hesitate to shoot him.

He says, "This isn't what it looks like."

Annie's mouth is open, but no words are coming out. The gun remains steady. She's thinking, processing. Suddenly, she kicks in gear and keeping the gun pointed at him and tells him to back up. She switches places with him so he is at the back of the panic room. She has him cuff himself to the back wall where there are metal loops coming out of the walls to store the guns. All the while Ryan is trying to talk to Annie in a calm and reassuring way.

"SHUT THE HELL UP."

Once Ryan is cuffed, Annie empties a bag she sees and fills it with the jewel cases, files, and rips out the hard drive on the computer at the security station, takes another couple of guns. Ryan is panicked; he has to contain the situation and tries to talk his way out of his predicament. He keeps trying to talk to her calmly saying, "Look at me, put the gun down, let's talk. This isn't what it seems. Let me explain. I love you, that is real. My love for you is real. I needed to protect you, so I had to keep eyes on you."

All the words are empty to Annie. She has been ignoring him while working to gather the evidence. Ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach, she's going to be sick, the new discovery is making her once again question all her instincts, she harnesses all her energy and emotions into one. Anger.

"I told you to SHUT UP, JUST STOP TALKING!" She shoots all the screens that show her apt. Ryan is stunned and takes cover as the glass shatters and loud shots ring in his ears. He knew she was angry, but he didn't expect her to actually fire the weapon. She rips out the phones and computer cables. "Annie, I know you're angry and rightfully so, I should have shown all this to you sooner, but damn it, give me a chance to explain." She tells him, "Shown it to me sooner? You had NO intention of me ever finding out and don't you pretend to know how I feel, you don't get the satisfaction of knowing how I feel. Save your breath for the interrogators." McQuaid is at a loss for words, she's going to call in Langley. It was probably protocol when an operative discovered bugs or surveillance, but he wished she wouldn't, this was trouble he didn't need now.

Once out of the control room, Annie looks straight back at McQuaid while fighting tears, she won't let him see how hurt she is, she needs to maintain composure. She closes the door and shoots the keypad to making it as hard on him as possible to get out. She needed the CIA sweep team to get there before he figured escaped. He could probably work his way out soon, he was a trained black op soldier after all. Her apartment needed to be swept too.

What had she compromised as a result of her relationship with him? Auggie was right. Once again, she was the one who was too emotionally involved to notice anything was amiss. How did she not see it? How could she let McQuaid manage to use her and dupe her like this? And she was going to move in with him. What happened to her instincts was she so wrapped up in him and his care and concern for her that she didn't sense that he was up to something? She needed to call Auggie and Joan to let them know she's been compromised. It was going to be a hard call to make.


	10. Chapter 10: In the Doghouse

Annie frantically looked around for her clothes. She drops to her knees and breaks down as she dresses. Inside the panic room, Ryan can see the scene playing out in his Master bedroom, he sees her fall to her knees sobbing. He feels like shit. What had he done, why didn't he tell her everything last night or the night before or the week before or as soon as she returned? That's the problem with a lie, the longer you keep it harder it is to come clean without repercussions. He shouts at her to open up the door, she can hear his muffled voice from the sound proof safe room. He can see her on the screen wipe away her tears and it's killing him. Realizing he can see her she refuses to give him the satisfaction of watching her cry.

Ryan watched as Annie slowly got up, clutching her chest. He could see that she labored in her breathing. Annie feels lightheaded, she stumbled and started towards the bathroom where she vomited. Oh God she's having another episode thought McQuaid. He tried to yell at her to say her injections were in the drawer next to her side of the bed. He thrashes around trying to free himself. His cameras were not in the bathroom, something he notes he needs to add. He didn't see her vomit. She wasn't having an episode exactly, she was simply feeling sick to her stomach at the discovery of Ryan's betrayal.

A few minutes later she emerges dressed and determined. She gets up on a chair and finds the camera in the bedroom, looks straight at the lens and rips it out. She takes everything she packed up from the panic room and all her belonging she had left behind at Ryan's home the last couple of weeks. She enters the garage and looks back into the house she was about to share with Ryan, then readies herself to call Auggie.

Auggie is at home getting ready for work, a woman he in his Judo class is in his shower.

"Incoming call, Annie Walker."

Auggie's face gives off a surprised look. He didn't expect to hear from Annie, her doctor appointment wasn't until tomorrow.

"Walker!"

Annie is just breathing on the other end, trying to get the words out.

Auggie knows her so very well, he senses that something is very wrong.

"Hey, are you in trouble? Are you okay?"

"It's McQuaid, you were right to not trust him," says Annie with a shaky voice.

"Where are you now?"

"Leaving McQuaid's, he's cuffed and locked up in his panic room."

Auggies gears are turning, he's worried for Annie.

"Cuffed? Let's back up. Did he hurt you?"

"Physically? No. Auggie, I need a sweep team over here and at my apartment right now." Annie started the sentence shaky, but when it came down to business she composed herself. Auggie could still hear it, he could hear the pain in her voice.

"You'll have to give me some more details before I order one of the most powerful and well connected PMC's home searched."

"He was watching me, collecting intel for God knows what and how long Auggie. Maybe since the day I met him. He has cameras at my apartment." Auggie is silent as they both take it all in. What was the bastard up to thought Auggie.

"I'll get on it. Get yourself to the office, I'll meet you there and we'll figure it out together." He thought for a second about having her come directly to his place, but he didn't want her to see the evidence of the woman who spent the night.

+++McQuaid in Trouble Again

Annie dropped nearly everything she took from McQuaid's on Auggie's desk and asks him to vet it all. "Auggie, I know I have no right to ask any more favors of you…"

"Annie, I will always be your friend, always. Ask away."

"Thanks, I appreciate it despite what I've done and I. . . , I would appreciate some discretion. There are, on the DVDs, um, there are intimate. . . moments" Annie can't quite get the words out, but Auggie understands. As much as her relationship with Auggie altered, she still trusted him to be on her side and he wasn't about to let his friend down.

"Say no more Walker. I'll be the only one who listens to them. Hey, remember I'm blind. . . worked out well in this scenario." Maybe it was a poorly timed blind joke, but he hoped to put a smile on her face.

"Thank you Auggie."

Barber walks in awkwardly, "Annie, Joan wants to see you before you head to polygraph."

"Thanks Barber," says a tired Annie. Auggie hears the exhaustion in her voice.

"Hey, bet you didn't have time to have breakfast before taking McQuaid down. I have a banana here."

"No, the thought of eating turns my stomach right now. I just need to get through the day. . ."

"Take it with you. You have a long day ahead. Go on, I'll see you later," says Auggie has he gives her hand a squeeze. Annie walks out of the office, Auggie remains at his desk with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Truthfully, he was not looking forward to reviewing those DVDs, but he had to turn off his personal feelings and get the job done.


	11. Chapter 11: All Is Not What It Seems

Annie walks into Joan's office. Joan is surprisingly supportive and lets Annie have her first meltdown since leaving McQuaid's house. Since Arthur's death, Joan made an effort to make more personal connections with her operatives and subordinates, especially the females under her. She wanted them to see her as a mentor and confidante. She didn't want anyone to feel alone or unsupported by Joan's office and she especially wanted to reconnect with Annie.

Joan hands Annie some tissue and says, "We'll get to the bottom of everything. I appreciate that you brought this to me, the Annie I knew would have tried to handle it on her own." Annie composes herself. "I knew you could help, I keep wracking my brain trying to figure out what I missed, how I could have been so stupid. I was so busy working my missions and helping that son of a bitch that I didn't see it or I didn't want to see it."

"Annie, you couldn't have known, he's been a boy scout his entire career, he was just cleared of all wrong doing in relation to Chicago and the motorcade bombing. I was just as surprised when Auggie filled me in, he's been great to me and Mac after Arthur died, but I _will _get answers. He's been brought in and I will question him myself."

"Thank you Joan. I don't think I've revealed any mission critical information. All I've been tasked with since my return was Chicago and I haven't talked about past missions, McQuaid has a high level of clearance as it is, probably knows more about missions than I do. I know he got his hands on my personnel file. I don't get it Joan. I really don't know what he could be after from me."

"Leave it to me Annie, I'm going to find out myself. Just report to polygraph and I'm going to need a timeline of all your encounters with McQuaid."

Annie was glad for the banana Auggie handed her. She spent over three hours answering questions about McQuaid and her relationship with him. A thirty minute lunch break was called. Annie went straight to Auggie's desk. He filled her in. They cleared out McQuaid's safe and panic room. "Quite a scene you left from what I hear Walker. Remind me never to cross you."

Annie manages a weak smile. "Don't forget it. So what did they find?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. His safe contained what you'd expect. Passports, tons of cash in various currencies, his medals and awards, some memorabilia, some pictures of his wife, and Annie. . . there was a ring. An engagement ring, purchased just last week from Tiffany's. You know anything about that?"

Annie is not sure what to think, but none of it matters. "I agreed to move in with him just last night Auggie. We were making plans, I let my guard down. He had me Auggie. I didn't see this coming, so if that ring was for me, I'm glad I dodged a bullet."

"Annie, don't beat yourself up. I'm here for you."

"So, what about the evidence board, what was he after?"

"Doesn't look like he was after anything other than your movements, your habits, there were some pictures of an unknown subject. We can't figure out who it is, but they were all taken near your apartment."

"What was found at my apartment?"

"Cameras, standard equipment, but one thing stood out. You car had two trackers on it, but there's no info linking one of them to the feed at McQuaid's. There was another anomaly, a bug, nothing consistent with the rest of the equipment McQuaid uses. Joan is questioning him on it now. But it looks like it wasn't just McQuaid who was watching you."

Annie looks completely befuddled. Who else could be watching her? It was unnerving. Finding out McQuaid wasn't what he seemed was one thing, but he was a known. Who was this other person?

Suddenly it dawns on her, "It's his way to cover his ass Auggie. Think about it Auggie. McQuaid conveniently put down the second bug and tracker to act as a decoy. I'm not falling for it."

"Annie, we need to act as if there is another entity out there, we can't risk your life. I don't think much of him, but I don't think that's the man's style."

"I never really knew him, my instincts are shot. I have to get back to finish up and get out of here."

"Beers later?"

"I'm not up for it today Auggie." She sounded haggard, broken, there was no sunshine in her voice.

"Where are you going?"

"I have about an hour left of questions back at poly. Don't worry about me." But he does, yet he does nothing about it. He lets her go.

Annie finishes up her timeline and polygraph a few hours later. Joan catches her and lets her know that Ryan's story checks out. "He came clean about everything and his reasons for keeping tabs on you. He passed his polygraph. I questioned him myself."

Annie rolls her eyes and sighs, "You too? You can't buy what he's saying? I can pass a polygraph too."

"Annie we uncovered other devices. McQuaid isn't the only one keeping tabs on you. The other bugs were planted sometime while McQuaid's office was shut down. He admitted he wasn't always on you, he never went back and reviewed his tapes from the time he was hunted through the time you were in Istanbul while he was in the hospital. He has a valid point and valid intel. I'm going to look through the DVDs you handed Auggie to see what I can come up with. It's a lot to sift though. But, you are in some danger and until we figure that out, it's best that we find you a new safe house and identity. We don't know who placed the other devices there."

Annie sighs, "Joan, have you considered that he could be bullshitting you to take the heat off himself? I don't buy his story."

"Annie, you should have seen him, no man is that good an actor or liar when it comes to wearing his heart on his sleeve. I am good at this, I'm trained to read people. He's a mess. He kept asking me if I had seen you or talked to you. He wanted to know if you were okay, he said you left his place clutching your chest. He thought you might have had an episode. And I have to agree, you look terrible. Have you made it to the doctors yet during your leave? You need to take care of yourself and for now, you need protection."

"Joan, I will be fine. I need some time alone to process today."

"Annie, we have reason to believe that there is a legitimate threat to you. You've come too close to something or someone. You're not invincible. You need to accept the agency's help, my help. Tech just told me the equipment is standard issue for the FSB. We think you pissed them off in Paris, they lost their chance to nab you at the embassy and someone has been tasked with bringing you in."

"You honestly think they'd make a move on American soil?"

"I'm not sure. It would be politically unwise, but they could be gathering intel on your movements and take you when you're abroad."

"They had a chance in Turkey, and I'm still here. If it's really the FSB, we shut it down today, I'll take my chances on the streets on DC. I'm off the field remember, there's no reason for me to travel abroad for them to grab me. I'll be fine Joan."

"Annie, I want you to be careful. Don't take this lightly. Let me get that safe house set up."

Annie shakes her head. She looks past Joan to see McQuaid leaving the office where he just finished his paperwork post polygraph and interrogation, he sees Annie across the hallway. "Thanks for the concern Joan, I need to go. I have a safe place in mind," says Annie as she doesn't want McQuaid to find her. Joan looks behind her and sees Ryan. She gives Annie a knowing nod, but says, "It's obvious he loves you Annie. Just some advice, don't discount the moments you shared."

"Doesn't excuse him, love isn't enough, there can't be true love without trust and I don't trust him. We aren't like you and Arthur, we weren't even together for that long, I fell into the same pattern you tried to warn me of in the past." Annie looks at Joan and then leaves in a hurry.

Ryan tries to go after her, but is caught up gathering the things that had been taken from him, his wallet, watch, and jacket. Auggie is there, wanted to speak with McQuaid personally before he was released from custody. "McQuaid, making this place your second home huh, we need to talk."

"Annie is on her way out and I need to talk to her."

"I have news for you, the lady doesn't want to speak to you, but I do. I have a few questions to ask."

"Another time Auggie."

Blindness is a terrible thing, he doesn't see McQuaid run after her, but he knows it.

He eventually catches up. Annie wants nothing to do with him. She tells him she's sick, he makes her sick and what was real for him?

"After all we had been through, it was convenient for you wasn't it. I was an easy mark. What was your plan? You know what? I don't want to know. We're done. Don't ever talk to me or come near me again. Next time, I will aim and my aim is good."

"I love you Annie and I should have told you about the surveillance the minute you came back from Turkey."

"Should have what? You never should have had me watched McQuaid."

He sees, he's getting nowhere so changes the subject. McQuaid looks at his watch and says, "Can we have dinner? I haven't eaten all day."

"You're amazing you know? Ballsy. There are no more dinners for us. We are done!"

McQuaid was driven there, picked up by the CIA, he has no ride.

"Then how about a ride?" He couldn't and wouldn't give up, he wanted to know where she was heading.

Annie shakes her head. "I will use my gun, how ironic would it be for you to be shot by your own gun? I have a pretty good defense you know, shooting my stalker."

"You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man."

"You want to try me?"

"Annie wait, please. What we have is real."

An angry Annie shouts "What we _had_ was a fantasy. _Your sick fantasy_. But I have to thank you. You confirmed once again that there's no way people in our line of work can have a real and honest relationship, so thank you for the lesson."

"If you don't believe a word I say, you have to believe the evidence your agency found, you are still in danger Annie."

"The only person who is a danger to me now is you. So stay away from me, I mean it Ryan."

She walks away, leaving McQuaid standing in front of Langley feeling like crap. He's feels as if he's been pummeled and knocked out, but a man like McQuaid doesn't give up. She got past believing he was a traitor, he wasn't going to stop trying to get her to hear him out. He couldn't let her believe for a minute that the last month wasn't real. It was very real for him.

Once in her car she speeds past McQuaid, then stops her car a short distance away, she can't see through her tears. Annie breaks down. She feels sick and frantically looks around for a bag to throw up in. She can't find one and opens the door to vomit what little she ate for lunch.


	12. Chapter 12: Eyal Meets McQuaid

Here's a long chapter. I was kind of disappointed tonight in 5.11 when it seemed like the writers closed the door on Eyal and Annie having a romantic relationship. Totally into McQuaid/Annie as a couple, but having Eyal in the background adds an interesting layer and complexity that keeps me wondering and rooting for both gentlemen (not at the same time though). And I don't dislike Auggie, in fact, I think he's another upstanding guy, I love all these "good guys" men with honor, integrity, a sense of duty, a need to serve a higher purpose, but Auggie's a player, he's a ladies man and Annie needs someone more solid, both Eyal and Ryan fit that bill.

Annie composes herself and restarts her car. As she drives she has a sinking feeling her nausea wasn't from eating something bad or even McQuaid's betrayal. She didn't have a fever or chills. She takes a moment to recall the last time she had her period. She was so wrapped up in her carefree life with McQuaid she didn't realize she was at least a week and a half late. She suspects she maybe pregnant but doesn't want to believe it, she tells herself she is just imagining it, maybe a stomach bug was going around. She pushes the thought out of her mind as she formulates a plan.

Annie can't go back to the place she shared many evenings with McQuaid yet. All she wants is to get into a warm bed after a wall of exhaustion hits her. She can't remember when she last felt so tired. She doesn't think he will mind. She's without a phone so can't call him. She definitely needs to pick up a new phone, but not yet. She didn't want to be found by anyone. He had once offered his apartment to her, for him to even reveal where he lived was a huge step in their relationship. It was a peace offering after he had duped her. She gladly accepted unable to return to her cottage where she lost Simon. The place she felt was safe for her was none other than Eyal's DC apartment.

Annie went to retrieve Eyal's key along with some clothes and toiletries from the locker she kept at the swanky Penthouse Pool and Lounge. She went to the apartment where she once lived after Simon was killed and opened the door, but immediately sensed that something was wrong. It didn't feel empty, she smelled cologne and food. Eyal had told her that no one used his D.C. apartment except for him and as far as she knew he was back home in Israel. She carefully walked into the kitchen and touched the stove. It was warm and the sink was wet. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure move quickly from the pantry behind her. First, she froze then reached for her gun. She turned around and was surprised to see the man himself. Eyal stood before her with a gun drawn.

They both put their weapons down and breathed sighs of relief and in unison said, "What the hell are you doing here?" Then they both laugh at the ridiculously unexpected circumstances.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to D.C.?"

"I wanted to surprise you and looks like it was a success!"

"When did you get in?"

"Just a landed a bit over an hour ago, I was about to give you a call to meet up for drinks. I am supposed to go into Langley to give a brief to one of your many committees of what happened in Istanbul. I sent over my reports but some higher ups wanted to hear it in person and Rivka ordered that I comply, keep you Americans happy and out of our hair. Plus it was an opportunity to see you without people shooting at us."

"Really? No one told me about that. I was just there at Langley for most of the day."

"I thought you were on leave."

Eyal could see how ragged Annie looked. "You don't look like a woman of leisure Annie. How have you been spending your vacation? I tell you, you Americans really don't know the meaning of rest and relaxation."

Annie didn't laugh at his quip, instead she looks serious and he could sense something was terribly wrong. Eyal motions toward the couch for her to have a seat. He goes to the kitchen and pours a glass of water for Annie. Then sits on the coffee table facing her. Sitting knee to knee, he looks at her and says, "What's happened? Because the last time you were here something terrible happened to you and I was glad to offer a sanctuary. What brought you back to my place?"

Annie is quiet.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here," says Eyal as he lifts her head up by her chin.

Annie looks into Eyal's eyes as tears well up. She doesn't say anything. She just cries and he lets her. Her body bends down and her head hits his lap where her cries turn into uncontrollable sobs. "He just rubs her back and says, it's okay, Neshema. It's okay."

Finally Annie lifts her head and looks at Eyal. "I'm always choosing the wrong men."

"Maybe you need to choose an Israeli. Remember everything's better in Israel"

They look at each other and Eyal leans in to a stationary Annie. He kisses her on the forehead, then on her nose, he holds her head with his hands and finally his lips reach her lips, she starts to kiss him back and then takes his hands and stops. "Timing is everything and now's definitely not our time. Eyal, I think I'm pregnant." Eyal's eyes widen and he said, "Well, you've always been able to astonish me, but I really wasn't expecting that. Are you sure it's mine?" They laugh at the impossible situation. Annie puts her head in her lap crying, Eyal puts his hands on her head and plays with her hair. He comforts her saying she can stay at his place as long as needed.

"Eyal, I don't get scared, not after everything I've faced. But I'm scared. I don't know what to do. How can I have a baby? I can't have a baby whose father is a liar, a man I never really knew . . . "He wraps his arms around her and rubs her back. "Well, I wasn't expecting that to be the response when we finally kissed for real, I always wanted more children. . . what do you say? Come back to Israel with me since this man is clearly not worthy of you."

Annie lifts her tear stained face. Incredulous. "You can't be serious."

"Remember it's Thursday, I don't lie on Thursdays." Annie laughs.

"I always wanted kids, but I can't do it. If I had found out before I knew he was a lying SOB, I probably would have moved in with him, and lived in ignorant bliss with a dog and baby. I was happy, you know. Eyal, I was truly happy for the first time in ages. I thought it was real. That I could find happiness, I thought a normal life was finally in my future. I let myself make plans with him." She goes back to sobbing with her head in his lap.

"Of course you can have a normal life Neshema, you love and care about those close to you. You'll love and care for the life inside you. It's another gift and the gifts are not going to keep coming for you. Remember when I told you your illness was a gift, a sign it was time to get out. You didn't listen to me then, listen to me now. This life is a gift. It is another sign that it is time for you to get out, because your nine live are going to run out. Take it, take this gift and get out of this life."

"But what about the father?"

"What about him? This McQuaid character is the father I presume? You said it was over."

"You would support a man not knowing he fathered a child? You're a father, wouldn't you want to know if you had a child out there?"

"I would, but he's not me and I don't care for the man, so I say forget him."

"You're jealous?"

"Jealousy is for petty people. He's not worthy of you Neshema."

"And you are?" with a laugh.

"I am, I've never lied to you as a friend, as a fellow operative sure, that's the beauty in what we have, we understand our roles. When it counted, I've been there for you my friend and I will continue to be here for you."

"I can't do it, I'm too tortured and messed up to bring a life into this world, I don't want to mess up another life."

Eyal tries to comfort her. He says, "You're right Neshema, secrets always come out, it's just a matter of time like with your heart. I would want to know if I had a child. You must tell him, but ultimately what you do is your choice."

Annie looks tired. He says, we don't have to talk about this right now, you need to get some rest. Go take a nap and I'll make you something to eat.

"Eyal, thank you. Can I ask you to go buy a pregnancy test?"

"Of all the things you've asked me to help you with, I think that's the easiest mission you could send me on. I'll be right back Neshama, do you need anything else? Maybe some prenatal vitamins? It's what the doctor orders."

"Maybe some ice cream if you don't have any in the freezer."

The pregnancy test Eyal bought for Annie is still sitting unopened on his kitchen counter. She was not ready to learn what her body already knew. She wanted to put off confirmation as long as possible hoping it wouldn't be real if she waited. Annie has a 7 a.m. procedure with Dr. Wendy Lee, a prominent cardio thoracic surgeon in DC. Annie asks Eyal to go with her to her cardiologist the next morning.

Annie had to check in at 7:00 am. For a 7:30 appointment. Eyal was glad to accompany Annie, he couldn't give a shit if he were late for Langley. Annie was more important to him. McQuaid knows where Annie's appointment was scheduled, he goes there hoping to catch Annie. He waits in the lobby with two cups of coffee and sees Eyal and Annie entering the building. As soon as Annie catches sight of him she lets out an annoyed sigh.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Eyal eyes McQuaid says, "So this is the ben zonah you told me about. I'm . . . "

Annie interrupts, "Don't say anything to him, be careful or he'll have you tailed and watched. What am I saying, you already have pictures of me and Eyal."

Eyal lifts his eyebrows, she never did reveal why she was so angry with this man. He made a note to himself to never cross Annie romantically.

"I'll leave the two of you for a moment. Annie, I'll be nearby if you need me."

"What are you doing here? Are you still having me followed? Watched?" asks Annie angrily.

"No, remember, I was hoping to accompany you today. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Don't pretend, you know who he is already. You need to leave and I told you yesterday, there's nothing left to say."

"I care about you. I wanted to make sure you are okay, you look. . . you don't look well. I'm worried about you."

"I don't believe anything you say. You don't get to know any more about me or my life. You want to know how my heart is? If it was broken before, it's shattered now. But you know what, you don't get a win, I am going to be fine. Whatever plan you had, didn't work. That's all you need to know."

Eyal steps back by Annie's side and puts his arm around her, "Bo-ee nelech (let's go) we're going to be late."

McQuaid moves closer to Annie, "My plan wasn't to break your heart, everything I did was because I wanted to protect you." Eyal, puts his hand on McQuaid's chest to stop him from getting closer to Annie. McQuaid slaps Eyal's hand away and says curtly, "Stay out of this." Eyal speaks harshly, "We're in the company of a lady, so I'll give you a pass, but she has said her peace. Leave."

Annie pulls at Eyal, "Let's go."

They walk into the elevator and watch McQuaid as the doors close. "So you ready to tell me everything? I mean you don't have to, but would be nice to know the next time we encounter him. You know there will be a next time." He looks over and sees the tears streaming down her cheeks. Eyal remains silent and lets her compose herself. Later he says, "So what did he do exactly?" Annie tells him most of the details of what she found at McQuaid's home as they wait and fill out waivers and forms in the waiting room.

Eyal surprisingly says, "I would have done the same thing Annie if I thought you were in danger. Heck, I've kept tabs on you over the years through Mossad and you're not so angry with me."

Annie looks flabbergasted. "So you're excusing him and saying to forgive him?"

"Look, it would be easy for me let things be and be your hero again. You know I hate to share you, but if I were in love with you, I'd want to protect you in the same way. I'm saying how is it different from the times I've followed you or stashed a GPS tracker in your car or looked through photos of you and an asset? You've forgiven me for much worse, my friend."

Annie is still silent. So Eyal goes on, "I'm saying, you were happy, you admitted to being happy. I hate to admit it because I do want to keep you for myself, but I'm great at reading men, especially men like McQuaid. I can tell he cares for you. Maybe in time you can find a path to forgiveness."

Annie finally speaks, "You are preaching forgiveness? Never thought I'd see the day."

"Well, miracles do happen and speaking of miracles, I pray there's one for your heart."

"You're praying for me?"

"Okay, am I in the twilight zone?"

"Glad you haven't lost your sense of humor Neshema."

"You want to know the difference between you and him? We weren't sleeping together, our relationship started as part of our business and we've flirted and enjoyed dancing around the tension, but we never let sex come between us. I think that's what's kept us friends."

Annie is called in to change and get prepped for her procedure. She asks if Eyal can stay with her. The nurse allows it for the prep, but not for the procedure. The doctor explains that he will be taking a piece of her heart tissue to test and asks if Annie followed the pre-procedure instructions. Annie had followed the instructions easily, no eating for six hours prior. They put in a catheter through her arm and into her myocardium to remove a small bit of tissue. It was quick and relatively painless, but Annie has to sit in the recovery area for at least an hour for them to keep an eye on her vitals. Eyal sits by her as she dozes off.

Eyal thinks to himself how all of this could have been avoided if she sailed off to Greece with him, but their lives took them where they were and the current brought them there in that moment. Maybe she was right, they remained friends because they weren't involved romantically. He was a man who embraced each moment as if it were his last, an important lesson learned over the years. He planned to ask her again to return to Israel with him, have her surgery there, have her baby there, he would help her in any way he could. He still felt that he owed her and she felt the same way towards him.

The nurse returns checks on Annie's vitals. She is cleared to leave. The nurse instructs Annie saying no heavy lifting or intense exercise for the next few days. Change the gauze every eight hours and if you need to sneeze or cough press down. The doctor will be in shortly. "Did you hear that Ms. Walker? No heavy lifting," says Eyal. Annie manages a weak smile.

The doctor sees Annie, listens to her heart and reviews the results of her last set of EKGs. You are strong and otherwise healthy, a good candidate for valve repair surgery. With new technology, the surgery is minimally invasive. I have an open slot in three days, you're lucky, otherwise you will have to wait a month. When you check-out the nurse will give you pre-op instructions.

Annie looks at Eyal and says to Dr. Lee, "I have a hypothetical question. If a patient with my condition were to be pregnant what would happen?" The doctor raises his eyebrows, "That is a critical piece of information that would affect a patient's health and I would hope if that were true the patient would not hide it from her doctor."

The doctor goes on to say pregnancy is a huge risk for a patient with her condition. "You would be unlikely to make it through the pregnancy with no complications. You have to understand that your heart has to pump 40 percent more blood to your organs while pregnant causing it to work much harder than normal, which means it has to work harder and your heart in its current condition cannot withstand that much stress. If you were pregnant you need to see a high-risk OB-GYN for a consultation. Surgery is a risk, a fetus may not survive it, but it depends on how far along the pregnancy is and other factors that a high-risk OB would be more skilled to assess."

Annie is silent.

The doctor says, "You are healthy otherwise, can get pregnant again if you miscarry, but your heart most definitely cannot handle a full-term pregnancy with out significant intervention, the decision is up to you, but my counsel is to get the surgery done."

"Thank you Dr. Lee," says Annie.

Eyal and Annie ride in silence back to his apartment. He lets her out of the car and says, "My invitation to return to Israel with me still stands. It wasn't a joke. Avram is the best and he knows many well-connected cardio-thoracic surgeons. We will get you in for surgery and you can stay with me until you're ready to face this McQuaid. You know he won't stop trying to see you."

"Eyal, you've done too much for me. I need to do this here as Annie Walker. I'm done running and hiding. I have some decisions to make."

"Just think about it. I have to report to Langley, but will be back in a few hours. How about we go pack up your apartment, get that over with while you've got my muscle. I don't have to be back home right away and have a few vacation days. I'll stay here in DC with you a little longer or we can go somewhere else. I only have to be back in Israel by the weekend for Avi's soccer match. Championship game this weekend. I promised I'd be there."

"Eyal Levin taking a vacation? You have changed."

"Only for you Annie."

"Thanks Eyal. I don't have much, been nice to live simply since returning from the dead. The packing will go faster with your help. But you don't have an obligation to look after me. I'll be fine." And she gives him a peck on the cheek. "There's juice and fruit salad in the fridge."Annie goes into the apartment. He watches to make sure she gets inside. Once in, she sinks into the couch and falls asleep. When she wakes up, three hours had passed. She hadn't napped like that in a long time. She feels much better. She thinks about Eyal's advice on forgiveness, but she get past what Ryan did, what he hid from her, even if it was to protect her, it was such a violation and she felt sick whenever she thought about how he was watching her every move. She has questions he has yet to answer, but she's not ready to face him yet. She wants to figure out how she feels about the pregnancy without his interference. She puts her hands to her stomach, thinking how just yesterday she was talking about getting a German Shepard and moving in with Ryan. If she hadn't found out about his side project watching her, she would have been surprised about the pregnancy, but probably happy.

Eyal is in his car driving to Langley, Ryan had them followed when they went to the doctor and is still having him followed. Eyal knows it, but remained silent. He noticed the car when they left the medical building. It was parked and idle as Annie and Eyal spoke in the car before Annie got out and walked into the building. Eyal thought it was McQuaid following them. He loses the tail. Eyal didn't want to piss off Annie so he kept that info from her, she was too distracted to notice the tail. He kept the information to himself and decided he'd pay Ryan McQuaid a visit before he left for Israel.


	13. Chapter 13: Partners Again?

Eyal returns to his apartment after spending most of the day at Langley answering questions and sharing what little he could share about events that transpired in Turkey. He brought home groceries to make a simple meal. Annie, had not eaten much besides some bread and cheese. "Neshema, you are responsible for more than yourself, you need to eat better."Eyal, always comfortable in the kitchen whipped up a healthy meal in just thirty minutes. "How do you do that?" asks Annie. You and Danielle would enjoy cooking together. I never knew how she could open up her fridge and come up with something to eat so fast."

"Necessity, I suppose and a mother who made sure her son wouldn't starve, but getting back to you, how are you feeling?"

"I slept and took it easy today, started a book, you have quite a collection. I want to forget how screwed up and complicated my life has become."

Eyal chuckles, "Your life is never boring when we meet, that's for sure."

"I'm sorry to have shown up here and gotten you involved in my mess. You've been a good. . ."

He cuts her off, "Annie, in our line of work, it's good to have allies and it's nice to spend time with you outside of a mission. Let's get you packed up and watch a movie, have a normal night in."

"Eyal, that sounds wonderful," says Annie with a smile.

The pair heads over to Annie's apartment where she had been staying since returning to DC. Annie had a couple of storage units around the city, they planned on taking her boxes to one of her storage units and some to Eyal's. He offered her his place as long as she needed. Annie said, it would be temporary, a CIA operative couldn't very well be linked to a foreign operative's safe house.

As they pack, they talk, Annie says, "Eyal, you're a good father. I can see how proud you are of Avi whenever you talk about him. Remember that time you brought me to his soccer game? I won't forget how you lit up when you saw him out on the field, that look was pride. I don't see that in you often. How were you able to have a child and this life?"

"It didn't come without costs Neshema. I missed a lot of his childhood. The life I chose cost me my marriage, but serving my country is serving my family. I do it to keep Israel safe, to keep them safe and have accepted the personal cost, but good things have come out of it too. I travel the world and meet extraordinary people like yourself."

"I wonder if the choices I've made have hurt more than they've helped. I've made a lot of sacrifices and become someone I don't recognize sometimes."

"Don't second guess you decisions, you've done your job with more integrity than most and at great cost and there's no shame in retiring, most of us don't last past 40 in the field."

Annie thinks about what he has said. "How have you lasted so long, I mean do you plan on leaving it all behind one day?"

"If a certain someone had joined me on my yacht, I might be retired right now."

Annie smiles, "Timing is everything, I am learning just how true that statement is these days."

"Annie, you would make a wonderful mother."

"I'm a great aunt, but a mother, I don't know. I'm almost done in the kitchen, there 's just a bit more in the bedroom and bathroom."

"You sell yourself short Annie. You're protective of those you love, you would do anything even at a great cost to your personal well-being and happiness to serve your country and help your friends. What do you think mothers do?"

Annie is filling up a box with McQuaid's things in the bedroom, his boxers, lounge pants, a Navy t-shirt, a toiletry kit, his gloves for their workout sessions, the bottle of Patron he brought over and a pair of sunglasses.

"Let's keep that bottle," says Eyal with a sly smile.

Annie smiles, "Sure, but guess you won't have company to drink it."

"That's all right, I can handle drinking it fine on my own, how about we head home and get comfy on the couch with a movie. Let's see how Hollywood portrays us spies."

"That sounds great" calls Annie from the bedroom.

Just then there's a knock on Annie's apartment door. McQuaid is right outside.

Annie shouts out to Eyal, as she heads to the door. It might be the building manager to collect the keys and inspect the apartment. "There are two sealed boxes in the bedroom and a suitcase, maybe just one or two more boxes to go." When Annie opens the door and sees McQuaid holding a bouquet of hydrangeas and a letter, she's extremely annoyed.

"Son-of-a-", says Annie. "Really? Do I need to take out a restraining order on you? That would look really good for the CEO of a military contractor you know."

Ryan smiles, he's so happy to see her. "Annie I just wanted to. . . I didn't think you'd be there, but I just wanted to leave this letter for you, then I saw the light on. Since you won't talk to me I wrote down everything I wanted to say." He holds out the letter to her. She refuses his letter.

"I don't want it, there's nothing you can say or write that's going to help the situation."

Eyal is in the bedroom packing up when he hears raised voices. He recognizes one as McQuaid's. Eyal emerges from the bedroom with the box of Ryan's things and says, "Ah, since you are here, you saved me a trip to deliver this to you" he hands Ryan his box with his things. McQuaid looks at the box contents and says, "You again. Are you going to introduce me to your watch dog?" Truthfully McQuaid already knew who the man was and he wondered why the Israeli was still in Annie's company.

Annie, says, "You are insufferable and you're wasting my time and yours. Take your things and leave."

"Where are you going?" asks Ryan. Annie simply looks flustered. "Where I go, who I'm with, what I do, is no longer your concern."

Eyal says to McQuaid, "Come on, lover boy, you can at least help me carry a few boxes down to the car." Annie gives Eyal a tired look, "Really? You're going to take help from him?"

Eyal purposely goes over to Annie and whispers in her ear to make McQuaid jealous "I won't refuse free labor, besides it will get him out of here and we can be on our merry way."

"Can you handle these two boxes?" McQuaid just wants to continue to be in her presence, so he walks over and picks up the boxes and smiles at Annie as he walks past her, he looks in the bedroom and then says to her, "I have good memories here Annie."

"Hey, don't push it buddy" says Eyal to McQuaid.

Eyal says to Annie "Don't worry, I'll send him on his way, don't lift anything while I'm gone." The two men walk out.

As they ride in the elevator Eyal says to Ryan, "Look, a little advice,"

"The last thing I need is advice from you. What are you still doing here with her anyway?"

"Jealous much? Annie is a dear friend and she needs someone right now. That someone could have been you if you hadn't been such an ass. If you want her back, you're going to need to give her some space. She'll come around, but she needs time."

"How well do you know Annie?"

"Met her when she first started at the CIA, so it's been about six or seven years and quite a few missions. Over the years we've gotten to know each other very well," says Eyal with a wink. He's enjoying toying around with McQuaid.

"And you really need to stop following her, she is too preoccupied to notice, but you're not very smart if you think that's the way back into her good graces. Sooner or later she won't be so distracted and she'll notice. Then it really will be game over for you. So, give her some space."

They have reached the ground and exit the building walking to Annie's Range Rover. McQuaid's face turns serious. "What are you talking about? I'm not having her followed. I was threatened with losing all my CIA contracts if I was found to be following any CIA operative. The CIA was supposed to keep a protective detail on her. I heard she refused, but I was assured she'd be safe."

"If you're not keeping watch, how did you know she'd be here?"

I didn't, I came by to drop off the flowers and a letter. I figured she'd have to return here eventually to gather her things. I knew her lease was up."

Both men grow wary. As they load the car, Eyal suddenly sees a black van around the corner, idling. Eyal brows furrow. McQuaid says with worry, "Who did you think was following her? What did he look like?"

"Typical black Mercedes sedan, darkened windows. Followed us to the doctor's office, then out of the doctor's office and back to my apartment this morning. Let's get back upstairs." He nods his head towards the black van. McQuaid's eyes follow and are filled with dread.

Suddenly they hear the sound of broken glass from above.

"Annie!" both men shouted in unison as they run back into the building. You take the main stairwell, I'll take the one down the hall.

Both men run back up to Annie's apartment and hear shots fired. They find Annie down near the window covered in broken class. "They went down the fire escape," says an out of breath Annie.

"Annie! Are you all right?" asks Ryan.

"I'm fine, get after them! There are two of them. Eyal, they were speaking Arabic and said, 'Where's the Jew?' They were looking for you, not me."

Eyal says "Stay here in your condition, you shouldn't". Ryan looks at Annie and Eyal. Annie says, "Fat chance! I'll take the main stairwell and head out front, you take the garage exit McQuaid, you know the way. Eyal says he'll take the fire exit."

She grabs her gun, the one McQuaid gave her when she returned. She passes an extra one she had to Eyal who wasn't carrying a weapon. They are all off. Eyal takes off in the direction of the fire exit. We saw a black van around the corner, I'll check it out. They are all in pursuit heading down their assigned paths.

As Annie hits the street, she sees the two men grab Eyal and drag him towards the black van. They screech off just as Annie sees them, the men shout for Annie to stay back while one holds a gun to Eyal's head. Eyal then says "Sorry we won't make that date at the Parchment" as the men punch him and shove him into the black van. Annie takes down the plates and shoots at the van as they drive away. Suddenly McQuaid drives up from the building garage in his Range Rover. He brings the car to an abrupt stop and says, "Get in Walker!" Annie gets in and they pursue the van.

"Some company you've been keeping Walker. What was that? Now do you believe me? Now do you believe your life is in danger?"

Annie yells angrily, "They weren't after me, they had me ambushed and unaware upstairs, they could have killed me or taken me then and here I am. They were after Eyal."

"Did you see them?"

"Yeah, they pretended to be delivery men. When they saw me they asked for the man of the house. They spoke Arabic to each other, not knowing I understood them. They were looking for Eyal and now they have him," said Annie with worry. She digs through her pockets for her phone. She needs to get help ASAP and Auggie was the first to pop in her head for help.


	14. Chapter 14: Hot Pursuit

++++Here's another chapter with Ryan and Auggie chiming in. Hope you enjoy it, can't wait for tonight's episode to see the two interact. Going to be fun!

As McQuaid's decked out black Range Rover speeds after the van that held Eyal, Annie frantically dials Auggie's cell. Her breathing becomes more rapid with each ring as her mind races through what could happen to Eyal if she couldn't get to him in time. Her call goes voicemail and Annie tries to contain the panic that is growing by replaying the events of the last few minutes. Everything happened so fast, what was all of this about?

McQuaid looks over to Annie, he has only recently seen her unravel like this. The first time was because of him and the discovery that he had been having her watched since they met. The Annie he knew was a woman with a tough exterior who was always ready for action and surefooted. She was a woman of conviction and uncommon courage, he loved her quick wit and the mystery that lay beneath the surface. Even in her weakest moments when she dealt with her episodes, she was always focused. But before him, he was witnessing her at a loss and uncertain and it made him want to help her.

"When we were packing up Eyal told me you were being followed, he thought it was my doing. My instincts were right you know. You are in danger," says Ryan.

"What? Why didn't he tell me if I was being followed?" shouts Annie while trying to redial Auggie.

"I suspect he didn't want to upset you. And by the way, what did he mean when he said you should stay back in your condition?"

Annie redials Auggie. Again voicemail. "Damn it, he's not picking up."

"Did you try his desk?"

Annie looks over worried, "I've tried all his numbers."

Annie is thinking out loud. "Who would want him and on America soil? Who knows he's here besides the CIA and Mossad? He travels here under an alias. He wasn't supposed to be here after his debrief. UGH, this is all my fault (as her voice cracks) I need to get to him before. . . "

"Look, don't worry about the guy, if what I've been reading is true, the man is tough as nails, he will manage on his own for a bit."

Annie glares at Ryan, incredulous.

"Come on Annie. Remember, I thought you were in danger. I needed to make sure the people around you were not there to harm you and this guy, he's done some questionable things."

"What and you haven't?" barks Annie. "I wouldn't be sitting here now if it weren't for Eyal. Did your files say anything about that? I owe him at least five times for saving my ass and I'm not going to let anything happen to him."

"We'll get to him, I'm here with you."

Annie grows annoyed at McQuaid's driving. All her anger towards him is harnessed and she starts a tirade as she redials Auggie's desk. One last try and Auggie picks up as he hears Annie yelling at McQuaid.

"I should be driving, you should stick to water, your offensive driving isn't worth a dime. We're more than five cars behind them. Shit, we're not going to make the next light!"

"Annie, what the hell is going on? Looks like I've gotten a deluge of calls from you." says Auggie.

"My driving is fine, you just get us some intel and let me worry about the driving," retorts McQuaid.

Auggie recognizes the voice as Annie has put him on speaker.

"Auggie, finally, you're there"

"I've been in a meeting, what's this about."

"I know you don't owe me anything and I don't have a lot of time to explain, but I need your help, it's life or death. Can you run a plate for me and get all the info you can on who may be after Eyal?"

Auggie sighs and shouts for Barber to come to his desk, then he says to Annie, "Give me the plate."

"Charlie-Echo-4-7-5-6. Any known terrorists in town who may be after a Mossad agent? Do you know if Mossad happens to be running any ops here in DC? Did Eyal say anything to you or act strangely when he was at Langley earlier? There were two men of Arab descent, they spoke Arabic and were specifically after Eyal."

"Annie slow down, I'm running the plates, stolen two days ago from a catering service, looks like they had it painted, says here, the van was white. Eyal was scheduled to return to Israel after his debrief. What is he doing here still?"

Annie is taking deep breaths and trying not to lose it, "Well, he's not on a plane, he's in the back of a van going God knows where. Please Auggie, can you have Joan contact Rivka and see if you can find out what other reason Eyal had to be in town. He told me it was only to debrief Turkey and you know what I believe him. He had no reason to lie. As far as I know he wasn't on a mission, we've been together and he never left for a phone call or anything."

McQuaid looks at her, he feels some pangs of jealousy, Annie was vulnerable because of him and she was spending time with a man who had a long history with her and had her complete trust. Annie notices his gaze on her.

"Stop looking at me, and focus on the road, get us closer dammit!" yells Annie to McQuaid.

"Wait, what are you doing now? Sounds like. . ."

"We're in pursuit of the van . . . heading towards the Key Bridge."

"We huh?" though Auggie had already recognized the man's voice.

"I'm with McQuaid. He showed up at the apartment while Eyal and I were packing up my things." Auggie is hurt, he didn't even know she was changing safe houses, he didn't even know where her safe house was located. "Annie you have to stop and wait for back up. What do you plan on doing if you do catch up to the van, you have no idea how many of them there are and you know the kind of heat we'll get if this goes pear-shaped."

"Really Auggie, you're going to be a suit about this? He's your friend too or have you forgotten everything he's done for me, for us?"

"Shit, McQuaid, your driving sucks. Get in the left lane."

"I am a great driver! If you would just shut up and let me focus on the road, we'll catch up."

"You stop talking and show me that great driving," yells Annie sarcastically.

Auggie comes back online and says he's sending back up in their direction.

"What did he mean when he said, you not should pursue in your condition?" asks Ryan.

"Wait, what condition, you said you were going to have that surgery during your time off, has something changed?" says Auggie who is still on speaker.

"Yeah, my friend has been abducted, surgery is the last thing on my mind. I need the both of you to focus on Eyal NOT me."

"What did the doctor say today?" asks Ryan as he continues to drive fiercely. He then sees her sleeve and the blood coming through it. The incision for her biopsy is bleeding. "What's that? Were you were grazed back at the apartment?" asks Ryan with alarm.

Auggie chimes in. "What, you didn't say anything about shots fired Walker!"

Annie looks down and sees the blood, "I'm fine, it's nothing. I wasn't shot."

"Then what is that blood from?" demands McQuaid.

"Annie, I want to know too. You can't help Eyal if you're hurt."

"Will you both just focus on Eyal?!"

"Ok, if someone was at your place. We need to get a sweep team there ASAP before DC Metro gets there and we need to figure out how they found your safehouse." says Auggie.

"Well, that would the second time this week, my apartment has been swept by Langley," says Annie sarcastically.

Annie has been continuously replaying the day's events as they argue, her mind is that of a seasoned spy accustomed to juggling multiple events. She remembers something. "Everything happened so fast, wait Auggie, I just remembered something, Eyal made reference to "The Parchment" right before he was taken. Can you look into whether there a Mossad op or any target with that name?"

"Barber and I will look into it," responds Auggie.

"It's not nothing, if you're bleeding," says Ryan as he reaches over and touches Annie's arm. Annie swats him away hard, causing him to swerve a bit.

"Just focus on your job McQuaid because you're doing a piss poor one. Eyes on the road, you're falling behind. God damn it, I should be the one driving."

"Auggie, he has a son, did you know that?" says Annie with a lump in her throat and a crack in her voice. "We need to get to him. I need to get to Eyal back home to his son. The men were speaking Arabic, they referred to him with a derogatory term for Jews. I'm afraid they plan on killing him."

For a rival spy to have revealed his personal information to Annie indicates to Auggie and McQuaid just how tender a relationship Annie and Eyal have. At the Farm, operatives are told to never reveal anything personal, even to allies for fear that it could be used against them.

"We're going to find him. I'll call in a team and see what we can find here. Be careful. Call you as soon as I have any info, I'm going to dial out now and don't kill McQuaid before we help Eyal." says Auggie.

Annie ends the call with Auggie. Auggie gets to work looking into Eyal's movements and missions and potential enemies in DC. He calls in Joan, she's not going to like being called back in after getting home to Mac, but this was important.

"Walker, what are you not telling me? What happened at your appointment with the cardiologist?" asks Ryan as soon as Annie ends the call. He sees that she is upset about Eyal. "We'll get to him. I'm here to help."

"Shut up and focus on catching up. Seriously, driving is not a Navy man's strength. SEAL, Sea, Air, Land? Well, land is last for a reason. Gun it into the left lane."

"That's a crazy move even for you Walker, this is DC not the streets of Venezuela."

McQuaid felt sorry that Eyal had been captured, but he was grateful that Annie was safe and with him. He shuddered to think of what could have happened to her back at her apartment remembering the feeling of dread when he saw her lying there on a pile of shattered glass. He would gladly take the barrage of insults she was throwing his way. She was talking to him albeit yelling and berating him for his driving. It felt like old times when they first met and butted heads. He had to admit he loved running missions with her.

They finally catch up to the van at the waterfront, but the men had a head start since they were stuck at a light. Annie hops out and runs after the men dragging Eyal to a speed boat off in the distance. Annie is not able to catch up before the boat leaves the dock, she's out of breath and fires shots at the boat, she thinks she hit one of the men before he went overboard, shoved with Eyal's help though his hands were bound. She sees Eyal looking at her before being pushed down. McQuaid catches up to her, she yells, "EYAL!" They watch the boat speeding away. Annie is distraught and angry.

"They were too far away, there's nothing we can do. I will call in a description of the boat and keep an eye out." Out of breath Annie says, "I need to get to him. I need to help him." She's taking off her shoes and jacket, "What the hell are you doing?" shouts McQuaid.

"I shot one of them and he's overboard, I'm going in to get him to shore."

"Yeah, but not at your own expense, you are out of breath, you're going to need your meds. Where are they?"

Annie is shouting full force, "I don't have any on me and I can't let that man out there drown, he's all I have to go on."

Ryan yells back, "Dammit it Walker, you have to stop taking unnecessary risks with your health, you know how cold that water is, not to mention how there's little visibility this time of night," as he starts to undress. "You stay, I"ll go in."

"You're too slow." Annie jumps into the Potomac. McQuaid is muttering curses under his breath as he jumps in after her just as Auggie's back up arrives.

Annie and McQuaid manage to get to the man in the river, he's been shot by Annie and has taken in some water. McQuaid swims back to shore with him and then drags him to shore where an out of breath Annie provides CPR on him. He comes to and she asks him in Arabic, "what do you want with him?"

"You'll never see him alive again," says the man. Annie hits him with two strong blows. "Where are you taking him?" She's out of breath and McQuaid is worried for her and for the man. He drags her off of the man.

The CIA team is on the scene, McQuaid tells them the description of the boat as he pulls an angry Annie off the man. "Come on, let the CIA handle him. They'll get the intel from him." Annie is shivering and shaking. McQuaid leads her to the and gets a blanket around her shoulders. He's freezing too, but his NAVY SEAL training prepared him for cold waters and long swims, he figured Annie wasn't so prepared, but she still managed to get to the man and helped him drag him to shore. Her actions and her physical strength never ceased to amaze him. She probably would have survived Hell Week and become a SEAL. He insists that she get checked out. An EMT gives Annie some oxygen and takes her pulse. "Miss, you need to stay still. You're pulse very erratic."

"I'm fine."

"She needs nitrate meds. She has myocarditis," says Ryan.

Annie shoots a glare at McQuaid, "I'm just trying to catch my breath, I'll fine in a couple of minutes."

"You are clearly not fine Walker."

She's emotional and feels the weight of needing to save Eyal, she can't hold back her fear and anxiety. McQuaid embraces her to say, "We'll find him, but I need you to put yourself first for once, please." After a long minute, she realizes where she is, back in his arms, and pushes him off. "I need to get to work, I'm going to find him."

She thinks about Eyal's last words to her and makes a connection. She looks at McQuaid and dials Auggie.


	15. Chapter 15: The Parchment

Auggie picks up and launches into a report immediately, "Good work Walker, the man you shot and beat up has been treated. He is being transported to a CIA detention facility for questioning. We'll get answers soon. How are you doing?"

"Stop asking. I expect you of all people to get it Auggie, I'm not disabled, stop treating me like I need to be babied. I want to question him myself."

Auggie completely understands, but he's still hurt, he has always cared for Annie despite the recent rocky road in their relationship. "Ok, got it loud and clear," says Auggie with a deep annoyed sigh.

"What else you got?"

"Joan is talking to Rivka as we speak and she'll be doing the questioning of our friendly kidnapper. Your apartment is being swept and we've contained the DC police and FBI for now. Your old friend Rossabi is not going to relent though, as soon as he saw that Eyal Levin was involved, he perked up."

"Auggie, I can't believe I didn't make the connection earlier. The Parchment, it's a bar I mentioned to Eyal years ago when he was here to pursue a target, the Cardinal. Remember the Cardinal? Eyal doesn't do anything without deliberation, he said specifically said the Parchment to me as a clue, we weren't heading over there tonight. We were supposed to stay in and watch a movie. There was no reason for him to mention it other than to send me a message. This has something to do with the Cardinal I am sure of it Auggie. We might actually need Rossabi for this since he was involved in that case."

"The Cardinal? Saeed? Eyal took him out. That gives me more to go on. Will you be okay in the meantime? I know you're not disabled, I just care, can't shut that off."

"I won't be okay until I get Eyal on a plane back to his son, don't worry about me, focus on Eyal, please." says Annie before she hangs up. McQuaid hears the entire conversation, he's trying to formulate a plan too.

"What next Walker?"

"I need to get to Langley," says Annie to Ryan.

"I'll drive," says McQuaid.

"No, I'll be fine on my own. You've done enough, this isn't your fight."

"With what car? I have a car and I'm here, you can't let your hatred for me cloud your judgment. Let me drive you to Langley. Use me," says McQuaid with a wink.

Annie lets the words sink in, hatred, he thinks she hates him. She's numb, she's hurt, the pit in her stomach that develops each time she thinks about how he lied to her is indescribable, but mostly she is sad and scared for the future. She pushed thoughts about the baby aside, she had a mission to complete, she had to get Eyal and on a plane back home to Avi.

"Let's go then," says Annie.

"So, tell me more about The Parchment and this Saeed character. I'll see what I can find out," says Ryan as they approach his car.

"It wasn't a Mossad mission, Eyal was here on his own to take down Saeed for killing his sister."

Annie takes out her phone and dials Rossabi.

Rossabi picks up, "Is this call coming in from hell? I was a little sad upon hearing that you were dead and here you are, going to be a pain in my ass again aren't you?"

"Yeah, I've been to hell and back. We're after the same thing here and I have no interest in a turf war, just in getting Eyal Levin back safely. Remember the case from a few years back? We have reason to believe there is a link. Have you had any flags on Fouad Saeed's known associates?"

"No, none. That case blew apart months of work for me Walker and I had to clean up a car bomb and shoot out at a hotel."

"Then you have nothing to offer me. Thanks Rossabi."

Annie hangs up and hits the car window with her right hand.

"Hey, are you okay?" asks a concerned Ryan.

"Will you stop asking me that? You and Auggie both! No, the answer is no, I'm not okay. I'm not okay sitting next to you and accepting help from you right now, but I have no choice. I'm not okay with my friend being possibly tortured and not knowing how to get to him. God dammit!" shouts Annie.

"You once said to me that if I needed a second to lose my shit, I could have it, well you are allowed to lose your shit too, but then I need you to focus," Ryan reminded Annie of the moment they shared together at his safe house when she was there for him. She looks over at him, "Don't talk about us or the past like the last few days didn't happen. Can you drive any slower?"

McQuaid rolls his eyes and they drive the rest of the way in silence.

Ryan and Annie arrive at Langley. Joan and Auggie are looking into the Cardinal and his links to the DC area. Joan says, they can't do anything with their intel since it involves a foreign operative. They have to wait for Mossad support to arrive. Rivka has sent help and they are on their way.

Annie is livid. "That's going to take at least fourteen effing hours Joan! You and I both know Eyal has an hour or two if he's lucky and they've already had him for about 30 minutes!"

"This involves a foreign operative who was called here by the CIA to answer questions about a CIA operation." Annie continues, "There's no way I am going to do nothing while Eyal is held captive. You know we have limited time before he is lost forever. He has risked his life for me and for this agency, he's proven himself and we owe him. I owe him for saving me at least five times! He only stayed in D.C. because of me," says Annie as her voice breaks up.

"What do we have on the man we fished out of the Potomac?" asks Ryan as he looks at Annie with concern.

"He's not talking and he's not in great shape. He might not make it. But he arrived here in the states with Eyal on the same flight from Jerusalem. Looks like he had been tailing him. He's just a kid from Palestine."

Annie puts her head in her hands. She's starting to feel hopeless and looks pale. She feels nauseous. She needs a minute, she takes deep breaths as she faces away from Joan and McQuaid.

Joan says while looking over at McQuaid, "Are you okay?"

Annie rolls her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine," replies Annie dryly.

Joan continues, "I understand how you feel, I know your feelings for Eyal and your shared history. Here's what we do have. The Cardinal had a younger brother here in the states, he was ferreted out of Palestine at an early age, his family wanted to have at least one son safe in America, one who was shielded from the conflict and violence back home. He spent years under an alias and went to posh boarding schools along the East Coast, he is currently studying at Georgetown under the name, Amir Ramzi. Auggie will give you his phone and credit card and internet search records."

Annie whispers, "Revenge, it's a deadly cycle. There has to be room for forgiveness to end it."

Ryan says, "What was that?" He heard the word forgiveness and wanted to probe Annie on it.

"Just something Eyal said to me recently about revenge. We were talking about the need for forgiveness."

"Joan, thanks. It means something to me that you'd give me this intel, am I reading too much into it?"

"No, but remember, the CIA is not to get involved understood?"

"Loud and clear," says Annie and extends her hand to Joan. "We'll wait until Mossad has their people on the ground."

Annie understood what Joan was doing. She was giving Annie the intel and tacit permission to go rescue Eyal.

"I know how much you care for him and him for you, I saw that today during his debrief. It's good to have trusted friends out there and you made a good one in him and him in you. He's going to get out of this," says Joan.

"He's a father and he has a son. He's saved me so many times, I owe him, and even if I didn't he's my friend. I need to get him back to Israel for his son's soccer game."

McQuaid notes that while Annie has always worked alone, he's gathered that she has worked very well with this Eyal character. He can tell she cares for him. He says, he will help. "If the CIA can't officially back you, I will."

"Really?" Annie looks at him surprised.

"I'm not doing it for him, I'm doing it for you," says McQuaid with a smile.

Joan says, "I can't be part of this conversation, do what you need to do, but keep me out of it. I have fresh clothes I keep in the office, I'll get them for you Annie."

Annie looks at Joan and walks over to her to give her a hug.


	16. Chapter 16: Deadly Cycle of Revenge

Revenge rears it's ugly head, it's a theme that will come up again. Enjoy!

Annie is grateful for McQuaid's support because she can't save Eyal without it. At the same time she is completely distrustful of his intentions. She knows he is helping her in hopes of being close to her. She is fully aware that she is using him to complete her mission, reminding her of what Eyal once said to her about using each other. It wasn't a matter of trust between them as two spies from competing agencies with competing agendas, it was a matter of whether they could use each other to complete their missions. It was easier said than done because she had once fully trusted him, they had been through quite a bit in the field and now the only way she knows how to act around him is with annoyance and anger.

Auggie was along to help with tech support, he's officially off the clock at Langley. Auggie felt he owed Eyal too for and it wasn't easy to convince Joan to let him tag along, but she relented.

Agent Rossabi alternates between calling Auggie and Annie non-stop. He has a lot of questions for both of them. The CIA had no business running any op in DC. He wasn't going to let the CIA step all over him again.

Annie takes the phone from Auggie and tells Rossabi, "We'll call you when we have something and this isn't a CIA op."

"That's bullshit Walker."

"Stop calling, we don't have time for it, we'll call you when you're needed."

Auggie, McQuaid and Annie drive over to McQuaid Securities to gather equipment, study their surveillance and intel. They had learned through Joan's intel that Eyal was taken by the brother of the man Eyal killed for planning the attack on the kibbutz that killed Eyal's sister Sarah.

"You have my full support, tell us what you know," say McQuaid.

"No strings?"

"No strings."

Annie fills them in on the way about Eyal's quest for vengeance.

Ryan learns how far back she goes with Eyal and develops a picture of how close she was to Eyal from all the personal knowledge she has of him. "Eyal had tracked down the Cardinal, aka Fouad Saeed four years ago right here in DC. He posed as a CIA operative and crashed an FBI investigation."

"Because of her prior relationship with Lavin, Joan had Annie keep tabs on him once we found out he was in DC. Eyal and Annie followed the FBI informant and things got messy, the FBI was pissed, then Eyal was ordered by to Israel," says Auggie.

"Like today he didn't get on the plane when he should have. Funny how life boils down to these decisions. We learned that the real reason Eyal was here was personal, he wasn't after a rogue Mossad agent, he was after his sister's killer, a Yemeni hitman known as The Cardinal. I found him at the hotel where he was staying and tried to talk him out of what I knew he was determined to do. I thought I could. I managed to immobilize Eyal in his room, but then saw the Cardinal in the hotel lobby. He wanted to beat Eyal to killing him, so there was a shoot out. I can't believe I didn't even carry a gun back then. Eyal killed the Cardinal, but also sustained a gunshot wound. The CIA and Mossad covered up the op from Rossabi and the FBI. I'm sure Mossad threw him party when he got home. Taking down the Cardinal didn't give Eyal the peace he was looking for and here we are now."

Annie starred out the window at the DC night sky, the Washington monument was in the distance. She was transported to that night with Eyal, she took him up on his invitation up to his room and improvised to save him from making a huge mistake. How she wished now she had succeeded and they wouldn't be here today. There'd be no killing to avenge. She hoped he would be at the Parchment to share a sazerac with her afterwards, he always seemed to know where she was. She wanted to check in with him, see how he was doing, but it never happened. She didn't see him for another year until she went to Israel on an assignment. Annie was brought back to a time when she wanted something to happen with Eyal, but he was in a dark place then and she was looking for nothing serious. Recently he was more hopeful and talked of the Talmud and forgiveness. Just as he had watched her evolve into a hardened operative, she watched him soften as a man over the years. Their paths converged in good ways and bad.

Auggie continues to fill Annie's pause "It turns out the Cardinal's younger brother hatched a plan to avenge his brother's death even though he lived a life similar to that of any American kid. He was waiting for a moment when Eyal left Israel and since he was heading here to the states, he found his opportunity and seized it. This plan came together in just two days, so we can count on the fact that they acted hastily and made mistakes."

Annie still can't believe this was all a part of a cycle of revenge and retribution. Eyal wanted to avenge his sister's death so he took out Fouad Saeed, Fouad Saeed's brother Tariq Saeed wanted to take out Eyal, and what was next?

They jostle over who will take point on the mission, both Auggie and McQuaid giving different suggestions of how to move forward. They have Dex and Fitz helping as well. McQuaid's men knew well enough to stay out of Ryan's way. Annie takes the reins and says, "Stop it, this is my op."

Eyal woke in a dark and dank basement. He had kept tabs on all of Saeed's family since he killed him, so when he heard the men who took him say the name Saeed, he knew immediately what all of this was about. He hoped Annie got his message and understood what he meant. He looked around to gather his senses and formulate a plan. He didn't see Saeed during transport, just his men. There were two at Annie's and two on the boat. One of them went overboard.

Eyal hoped he survived and Annie was shaking him down. As for what was next, he knew he didn't have much time. He tried to get to his belt, they hadn't removed it from his person. His belt hid lock picks and a piano wire. They were amateurs. Clearly, these boys were not well trained.

As Eyal tried to get to the tools hidden in his belt, he thought about how he didn't find the peace he desired after he killed The Cardinal. He still missed his sister terribly, his mother still mourned for her was often difficult to bear so he joined the Mossad for Sarah and for his mother. The bombings and hatred on both sides continued in the Middle East. He had come to accept that the cycle had to be broken and could only be broken with letting go. He was going to do his best to not kill these people.

"Okay, we what do we know about his movements and spending habits in the last week or two?"

With Auggie's help they figure out where Eyal is being held through studying financial records of Fouad's younger brother who was going by the name Amir Ramzi. He rented a farmhouse just two days ago in the Virginia countryside. They study the blueprints of the farmhouse and satellite footage McQuaid was able to obtain. They devise a plan to rescue Eyal.

Everyone is looking at the intel and maps.

Annie takes charge. "We're going to get close and confirm how many men there are. According to the satellite photos, there are only four at the house, assuming Eyal is one of them. We need a heli to get close quickly. Here's an open field at the adjacent property, then we'll go on foot to get near the house. Do you have flash grenades? "

"No let's land at this airstrip just three miles from the farmhouse. I've flown there before and know there are cars there we can use. A heli next door may alert them. Then we'll drive over and reconnoiter at the adjacent property. Satellite doesn't pick up anyone there."

"Doesn't give us much time the, let's gear up and head out in 10. By the time we get there, they will have had Eyal for over an hour and time's not on our side folks!"

"Annie, stay back with Auggie. My guys and I can handle it from here. You're not trained to be on the ground like this, it's a different beast from being an covert operative who gathers intelligence."

Annie is livid. "You don't know all there is to know about me, while I may not have been in combat situations, I've been front and center in plenty of dangerous missions and you know I have no problem pulling the trigger. I'm running point and we're not talking about my health, in fact, we're not talking about anything unless it's mission critical."

It's a full blown argument and Ryan fires back. "This isn't just about your health, this is about your lack of training for something of this magnitude, we're going into the unknown. My men and I have been trained in special ops, counterterrorism and hostage rescue. This is what I do Walker, this is how I started. I have a say because you're using my resources and I don't want an untrained and emotionally involved unknown on my team."

"So there are strings attached." Auggie steps in to say, "Cool it, you two, let's focus on Eyal's safe return. Annie gets to go, she's a big girl McQuaid and I've known her a lot longer than you have, I can say Walker has the balls and skills to hack it out there."

"Anderson, you have to think of her health."

"Yeah, I think it's _her_ health and _her_ decision."

Ryan is talking to Auggie and Annie. "Auggie, I support Annie and giving her all the resources she needs for a mission, but she looks in bad shape. You can't see it, but Annie, I've never seen you look this pale and back at the dock, you had an episode. I know you don't want to admit it."

"Annie is this true?" asks Auggie.

Annie thinks about it.

"We're done with this little debate, wheels up in eight minutes people."

Ryan is pissed, Annie walks away from him and heads to the bathroom. On the way, Annie, tells Auggie, "Thanks for your support."

"Annie, was McQuaid right? Did you have an episode earlier?"

"I ran after Eyal's captive and jumped into the Potomac to drag a man out, I was just out of breath. Didn't even need my meds."

"Why do I get the feeling, you're not telling me everything Annie?"

"Auggie, I need to use the restroom. Thanks for your spport. We will see you in hopefully less than an hour with Eyal."

Just before they leave to board the plane, Annie goes to McQuaid. He's hopeful when she approaches him, helping rescue Eyal maybe just get him to a spot where she trusts him. Annie says, "I do need to talk."

Ryan smiles, he's filled with hope thinking she is finally ready to listen to him. "I'm glad you're ready to hear me out. Want to co-pilot? We have a 20 minute ride to talk."

"What? That's not why I'm here. Who here knows?" demands Annie.

"Knows what?" asks Ryan.

Annie rolls her eyes, completely impatient. "About your voyeurism, who has been party to seeing me, bet you and your boys had some laughs watching your video feeds."

"Annie, that's not what it was, is that what you think of me? Is that what you think I'd do?" he chuckles. "Guess you don't really know me and I want to remedy that."

Annie speaks in angry hushed tone to avoid others hearing "This is serious, it's not funny to me, you know how it feels to know that your supposed boyfriend was filming you and that the men around you have seen you naked, seen intimate things? Violated doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I trusted you, so answer my question." Annie starts to get emotional and tears up. Damn pregnancy hormones.

McQuaid feels horrible, he hadn't looked at it from that perspective and couldn't beleive she thought he got off on watching her. "I'm sorry Annie, I didn't realize, I wasn't thinking about how. . ." he catches sight of her bloody sleeve, "Can I clean that up for you? It's from your procedure isn't it? I looked up the procedure and looks like they took the biopsy from there? It reopened? Can you at least tell me what the doctor said?"

"Don't change the subject, I can get to it myself. Yeah, you weren't thinking. I can't work with your men who've seen me or know about your little side project."

"None of them saw anything. I had someone put in the cameras, but the feed went to me and only me. I never showed anyone any footage. Have a seat. Please." Ryan gets his first aid kit. "I'm truly sorry and I will spend the rest of my days showing you how much I care about you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I only had your protection in mind."

"I can get Auggie to do it. Don't touch me."

"Really? You're so stubborn, this is what I mean, we can't go in together. Auggie, looks busy setting up his comms over there, I'm right here and no offense, but the man's blind."

Annie looks over to Auggie and shouts across the room "Auggie, can you spare a minute to help me change a bandage?" Annie gets up. "Unless it's mission critical, stop talking to me."

Ryan sighs and gets back to finishing getting his gear on nearby.

Auggie is helping Annie remove her bandage, the blood has dried causing the gauze to stick to Annie's skin. Despite his blindness, Auggie is very skilled and he manages to clean Annie's incision and reapply a fresh bandage. "Remember he's trained by Mossad and IDF, and with Kidon. If I met him in a dark alley, I'd be afraid. He's going to be okay."

"What scares me is that I don't know that. I don't know if he will be ok, if we will get to him in time. I just keep thinking about how his son is expecting him to be at his game and how Eyal was so proud when he told me about Avi's team being in the finals. I need to get him back to his son. Not just because I owe him, but because he deserves to be happy after the life he's had. I want that for him."

"You care a lot about him?" She was the kind of friend who would give her all to protect and help those she loved. Auggie of all people knew that, she had gone to bat for him numerous times, Eritrea, with Henry and Belenko.

"You know I care for him. We've been at odds at times, but regardless we've always worked well together. He's probably the only friend I have left." She laughs. "We're on different sides of the planet, I see him once or twice a year and he's the closest friend I have."

"You will always have me Walker, regardless of our storied history, I will always be your friend."

"Thanks Auggie. I need a friend that's for sure."

"Allen's with Eyal after this is over?"

"How about the Parchment instead? I feel like I've outgrown Allen's."

"You got it!"

McQuaid listened to their exchange as he geared up and was filled with regret.


	17. Chapter 17: Bittersweet Reunion

For those of you waiting for the moment Ryan finds out Annie is pregnant, it's here, end of the chapter. Enjoy!

**Chapter 16**

The tact team consisted of McQuaid, Fitz, Jim and Annie. McQuaid still isn't happy that Annie is joining them. He and the guys are all former Navy SEALS. They've trained and worked together for years. SEALS train with live rounds and are able to handle any surprises. They can go into situations and utter few words yet understand what to do through hand signals and gestures. He is worried that adding Annie to the mix is a huge mistake. Of course he believed in her abilities in the field, but he was worried about her and her attachment to Eyal could prove to be a huge disadvantage on a mission like this one.

Auggie is handling communication from McQuaid Security with Dex and monitoring satellite images after McQuaid called in a favor and commandeered a satellite. He's also listening in on the FBI and local police. He was to call in Rossabi's team right after they extracted Eyal.

When they arrive at the abandoned farmhouse in the Virginia countryside, McQuaid says there is no need for Annie to go in, he and his men can handle it. He tries fruitlessly once more and says he wants her to stay outside and relay intelligence from there. Annie looks him straight in the eye and says with certainty, "I'm going in, end of discussion." Annie and McQuaid look at each other before they storm the barn. He says with a sigh knowing he lost this battle, "Be careful. I hope we can talk after this is over."

"I can't think about anything else but Eyal. Thanks for all of this."

"I said it before, not doing this for him, I'm doing it for you."

"If we get Eyal out safely, we can have that talk."

"I'm more than motivated Walker, that's music to my ears, all right men _and _ma'am, let's rock and roll!"

Eyal had managed to get his lock pick out of his belt before he heard voices. Looks like it was show time. He managed to loosen his handcuffs, but remained in his position. He didn't have time to gain the element of surprise and he knew he needed it. When the door opened, in walked a clean shaven young man who looked like he came out of a catalog. He had his men stand Eyal up and hook his cuffs so that his arms were suspended above him.

"And I finally get to meet the man who killed my brother."

"And I get to meet the brother of the man who killed my sister."

"So, you think that makes us even?," asked Tariq Saeed, his real name.

"There's never an even, we're the same in that we both lost sibings, people we loved. You're a boy, what are you doing? Your family gave you a gift of life away from the fighting. Don't do this."

"I never asked for that gift. I want to be part of the war to take back the land that is rightfully ours. I will prove it to my family. I am sure my father and elder brothers would allow me back to fight alongside them when I come with your head," said the boy coldly.

"Oh, so you mean to take my head. You're not dressed for it, you have plastic tarps, let me tell you, there's going to be a lot of blood, and I mean, a lot of blood. Do you have a sharp sword? It's not so easy to decapitate a man, not like they show in movies."

"You think you're superior to me?"

"No, I think I'm just more experienced in this area. I'm trying to give you some pointers."

Eyal was trying to stall as long as he could and he was trying to size up this kid. He looked to be no more than 20. He was a kid, he had a life ahead of him and he wanted to throw it away. He has no idea the road ahead if he continues down this path. Eyal didn't want to kill him.

"Look, there's no glory to going back home and fighting, take it from someone who has had a lot of blood on his hands. It brings no peace, bloodshed just leads to more bloodshed."

"Who said I wanted peace? Enough talking!"

Saeed rolls up his sleeves and starts punching Eyal.

Meanwhile two of McQuaid's men look through the windows and report back. They see the target of the extraction and relay the positive ID. Fitz and Jim enter the back. McQuaid and Annie take the front. "Remember minimize the gunfire, we don't want to alert the neighbors or leave a trail," says McQuaid.

They have the element of surprise, but hand-to-hand combat ensues with the three guards. Annie instinctively looks for the basement door, she goes off and manages to locate and free Eyal who has his hands suspended above him, but he's not broken. He's still strong and lucid despite the nearly twenty blows he was dealt by young Saeed. "What took you so long Neshema? Hurry!" Annie starts to free Eyal from his restraints, as Saeed returns from checking out what was going on and hits Annie from behind just as she frees Eyal. She fights back since Eyal is still in cuffs. He slides his hands out of them and takes down Saeed who is putting a choke hold on Annie. Eyal uses the cuffs to cuff Saeed to the pipes. Eyal could have easily killed him, but he was worried for Annie. He helped her to her feet and they made their to the stairs to get back up.

Eyal has to fight off two more of Saeed's men who they had not accounted for earlier. Ryan and his men come across some evidence in another room as they go through the house. They discovered explosives and plans to use them at the Israeli Embassy in DC. McQuaid is relaying the message to Auggie and telling him to get Rossabi there fast. The two men Annie and Eyal encountered were putting up a good fight. Annie is using all her strength to fight them with Eyal. She backs the man into the wall and elbows him before she goes down. Eyal overpowers the man and drags Annie up. McQuaid saw that Annie had freed Eyal and signals for everyone to get to the van on the adjacent property. He runs ahead to cover them, but there are no more men. They see the flashing lights of the FBI vehicles. "We need to move it, we can't be found on site. No shots fired right? No evidence left behind. Do a quick sweep Fitz and bring up the rear. If you don't make the van, remember the protocol. Annie and Eyal run to the van after McQuaid. Once everyone is on board the van, the men celebrate with hoots and hollers. Eyal is not celebrating just yet. He had nearly finished medical school and knew enough to know that Annie was not doing well.

Ryan drives to the air field while giving Auggie the low down. "Target acquired, mission accomplished, we're coming home." McQuaid gives Auggie and full report during the drive. He looks back over at Annie through the rearview mirror and sees Eyal's arms around her and her weak smile. "Hey, where's that smile Walker, we made it, the rounds are on me after we get back!"

They make it to the air strip where McQuaid gets on the plane to fire up the engines. Fitz and Jim clear out and wipe down the van. Annie gets her gear and it takes every ounce of energy to climb the steps on to the plane. Annie collapses onto one of the leather recliners as soon as she makes it on board. Eyal is right behind her. She tells Eyal, "You can make the game now." In between gasps for air. McQuaid shouts from the cockpit as Fitz closes the door, "Look for her meds. Where are your meds?" She says to Eyal, "Glad I could finally come to your rescue instead of the other way around. Tell McQuaid "Thank you."

McQuaid needs to stay in the cockpit to get the plane up. He yells for "Fitz, finish closing up and get in here." Then he looks back as he taxies to the runway. "Annie, where are your injections?"

Eyal has a worried look in his eyes, "No, you will tell him yourself Neshema." Eyal lifts her from the recliner and lays her down on the floor of the plane, he grabs a pillow and props up her head. McQuaid is trying to fly the plane and looks back into the main cabin, "What the hell happened? She was just running a minute ago." He gets the plane up in the air, then he hands over controls to Fitz and he makes his way to Annie who is now unconscious. The men try to revive Annie. Ryan yells at Eyal, "This is on you, so help me if anything happens to her..." Eyal just says, "Get us to the nearest trauma hospital."

McQuaid yells to Fitz to radio ahead for an ambulance and orders him to get them there ASAP.

"What the hell happened?" Eyal pushes back, "I'm trying to help and why in Gods name did you let her come in after me, you do know about her heart don't you?"

"Where's your defibrillator? Do you have oxygen on board." He needs to use the defibrillator. "Yeah, yeah, I got all those. Do you know what you're doing?" He goes to get the items. McQuaid realizes it isn't time to argue instead he assists Eyal and hands him everything, "Get us to the hospital, her life depends on it," says Eyal as he looks with seriousness into McQuaid's eyes.

It was the longest plane ride of their lives. They arrive back at the airfield McQuaid keeps his planes. Jim had called ahead for an ambulance per McQuaid's instructions. Eyal and Ryan follow the ambulance. Auggie wonders where the rest of the team is when only Jim and Fitz show up in no mood to celebrate as previously planned. The two men fill him in on what happened after they got Eyal out.

As the EMTs wheel Annie into the ER, Eyal and McQuaid were on both sides of the gurney, Eyal took over talking, Annie's eyes are fluttering, she's in and out of consciousness. Eyal has her hand and she squeezes it. McQuaid has his hand on Annie's shoulder on the other side of the gurney. Her head turns towards Ryan as she hears Eyal's voice. "Patient is in her mid-thirties and has acute myocarditis affecting her mitral valve, by product of a previous gun shot wound to the heart. She was scheduled to have mitral valve repair surgery Monday morning"

"From the sounds of her heart and vitals, she can't wait until Monday," says the trauma doctor who joined them when he heard that a critical heart patient was on the way in.

"Is she on any medications?"

"Nitroglycerides, but they have not been administered."

"Why not?"

"It's a Class C drug. . .She crashed en route, used the AED to revive her and administered oxygen."

Annie looks back to Eyal.

"Well, you kept her alive until she got here. Good work."

"A Class C drug? That means the patient is…"

The mask on Annie keeps the men from seeing her try to talk, her lips are moving. When that doesn't work, she squeezes Eyal's hand with all the strength she can muster.

Eyal looks pained he wanted to keep her secret, but he couldn't, the info was critical to her care and they would find out anyway. He hoped she would forgive him for betraying her trust. "The patient is approximately six weeks pregnant." He looked across the gurney at McQuaid just as the words came out if his mouth. At the same time, he put his other hand on Annie's, sandwiching her hand between his as he bends down and says, "I'll be praying Neshema."


	18. Chapter 18: Undone

Here you go, Ryan's reaction and all three men together.

Ryan McQuaid the consummate soldier was a tough boy who grew into a tough man, not only did his strenuous training in the Navy add to his bravado, his personal struggles served to shape him into the pillar of strength and steadfastness. He lived each day as an adventure and was like his darling Annie, "always ready". It was one of the main qualities that attracted him to her during their first close encounters in Venezuela, but he wasn't ready to see her looking so fragile on that gurney. Everything was going in slow motion and the noise of the ER around him was drowned out by the words repeating in his head, "approximately six weeks pregnant, Class C drug, has not been administered, approximately six weeks pregnant, approximately six weeks pregnant. . ."

He was beginning to feel like he was in a dream, he wasn't sure he heard Eyal right . Then the last couple of days flashed before him, it took him back to when Annie found his panic room, how she looked so pale and he thought she was having an episode. Then to their encounter after he got out of polygraph, at the doctor's office, her apartment and throughout their hunt for Eyal. He had the feeling that something was off about her, he was worried for her, but now it was all making sense. His gut instinct was right, there was something "off" about her. Each time he thought to himself that she looked pale and exhausted, he attributed it to what he had done and that was probably part of it, but now he's realized it was because she was pregnant.

He felt like he had been punched in the gut, he had been blindsided when Kelly got sick and then his friend Caitlyn's betrayal, but this was getting to the top of the list of curve balls in his life. Losing Annie due to his stupidity and finding out that she was pregnant, but could possibly succumb to her heart condition was the last thing he expected would happen. He had so much to tell her and was looking forward to having that talk after they got Eyal on the plane and now this. He didn't realize that his grip on the gurney was preventing the doctor and EMT from pushing it further into the exam area. His pallor had turned ashen as the words repeated and settled in.

"Can I have a second please?" he managed to say. Then he put his hand on Annie's stomach, but no words came out. He saw tears roll down her cheek and kissed her before they wheeled her in past the point for the men to go. He had no words. Eyal stopped Ryan from following, McQuaid then stepped back and collapsed into the wall in the hallway and slunk down to the floor. He sat with his hands in his head tasting Annie's salty tears left on his lips. He stayed there for a minute to digest everything that just happened.

Then, with a sudden start, McQuaid stood up and tried to get back past the doors to where they took Annie. He should have told her he loved her. He realized he didn't say anything to her, he needed her to know that he loves her. He needed her to know that he wanted her to fight to live and he needed her to know that he would take care of her and their baby. He needed her to hear how sorry he was that he screwed up. But the door wouldn't budge.

"Sir, sir!"

Ryan continues to pound on the door. "Sir, please, they will come out with information as soon as they know. Let them do their jobs. Please have a seat," says a nurse.

Meanwhile, Eyal paced in the waiting area. He needed to get on the phone to call Rivka, but all he could think about was Annie. The fact that he was even thinking about calling in was Annie's doing. He remembered when she was a novice operative, always checking in with Langley. Now look at him, she had rubbed off on him. Without warning McQuaid got on his feet and went for Eyal surprising him from his trip down memory lane, Ryan slammed Eyal to a wall pinning him there and said, "If she doesn't come out of this, it's on you! You're the reason she's in there!"

Eyal breaks free and shoves McQuaid, "You don't think I feel terrible already? You have no idea what she means to me. She said, "now I can go to my son's soccer game, you think I can go merrily along to watch my son play soccer while my..." He was thinking, "my Neshema," she was his Neshema. Ryan wouldn't understand it.

Eyal continues in a hushed voice, "You know what? If you had not broken her trust she would be at home with you happy for the first time in ages, happy to have your baby instead she was hurt and in agony over what to do."

Auggie who made his way over to this hospital as soon as he found out what happened on the plane from Fitz and Jim walks into the ER waiting area and says angrily, "Stop fighting right now. I could hear you both on the sidewalk. Someone we all care about is fighting for her life right beyond those doors, what would she say if she knew you bozos were at each others throats?"

McQuaid looks heartbroken and turns to Eyal, in a hushed tone, "How was she when you were with her the last couple of days?"

"She was hurt and angry, we've been through a lot together and I had never seen her so unsure of what to do." McQuaid stops and walks over to the window. He had just found out that Annie was carrying his child only to learn that she wasn't sure about what to do because of him, his actions. The hurt and pain she faced alone gutted him, but she had her friend Eyal, she trusted him enough to confide in him. McQuaid knew men, he could see Eyal cared for Annie deeply. He envied what they had and knew he could have had it too, yet he blew it.

"Baby huh, looks like I have a lot of catching up to do," says Auggie. "Look, let me go check in with the nurses, Fitz and Jim told me about Annie being here, but I am still listed as her handler, so I was alerted on the way here. Let me see what I can find out." Auggie knew this hospital and had committed the map to memory. He was there when Annie was shot by Lena and then when she was in the car accident after she returned from going dark. Here he was again and the situation seemed dire.


	19. Chapter 19: Prayers & Bargains

** Let me know what you think. I can't wait for TONIGHT, 513! **

Auggie was still listed as next of kin in Annie's personnel files. When he got the call from Langley that Annie was in the hospital he was already on his way there. During his ride over to the hospital, he was mad at himself for letting his past with Annie take over. He allowed his judgment to be clouded and didn't hear Ryan's concerns over Annie's health before they set off. He enjoyed the role of standing up for Annie and backing her abilities to see through the mission to rescue Eyal. He had to admit part of him did it just to irritate McQuaid.

Auggie had come around to the idea of Annie being with McQuaid, they had both moved on and she deserved to be happy after everything she had endured the last couple of years. Then the shit hit the fan and Annie called him in tears after finding the cameras and surveillance photos Ryan had been taking. But if Auggie were honest he had to admit in the course of his investigation, he found nothing to incriminate the guy he wanted so badly to dislike. He really was trying to protect Annie and he should have been doing the same.

The two men did have a lot in common, their special op training, being in active combat, losing fellow solders, love of Patron, and of course Annie. But when McQuaid wanted to bench Annie, something in him wanted to side with Annie. He was the one who really knew her and he could never talk sense into her when she made up his mind. To have McQuaid succeed in benching Annie was something Auggie didn't want to let happen, so he went to bat for her. Then there was McQuaid's comment about how he couldn't _see_ how Annie looked. Auggie didn't need to be reminded that he had no real idea what she looked like. McQuaid brought his eyesight into it and it was a harsh reminder, but what he said was true, Auggie couldn't see how sick and tired Annie had looked. It was stupid and selfish of him to _blindly_ back Annie. And there was that word again, _blindly_. . . he would always have her back despite all the times he felt she lied to him. But this time was a huge mistake. He should have listened to Ryan and kept her back from the mission. Auggie would never forgive himself if Annie didn't come through this.

When Auggie exited the cab and got closer to the ER entrance he heard Eyal and McQuaid 's raised voices. He heard the word "baby" and raised his eyebrows. His hearing had been honed since he lost his sight. He clearly heard Eyal shouting at McQuaid and referring to Annie and a baby. Everyone was on edge, he broke up their fight, then left the two hot heads hoping they wouldn't start fighting again. He made his way to the nurse's station to ask about Annie, but all they knew was they were still working on her and running tests. Auggie walked back to the waiting room where he could hear Eyal whispering prayers in Hebrew. McQuaid saw Auggie return and went up to him, "Auggie."

"Ryan, you want to fill me in?" Ryan gives Auggie his arm and he leads him to a seat in the waiting room.

"She freed Eyal. I knew from the radio feed they were fighting some of Saeed's men, but got caught up with collecting the intel on site . From where I was, it sounded like Eyal and Annie had everything under control. I didn't realize she was struggling until we got on board the plane. Then everything went to shit."

"I was asking about Annie being pregnant, but thanks for the mission deets."

"You didn't already know?"

"You think I would have supported her going in with you if I knew?"

"Looks like Eyal is the only one she confided in."

The two men sat silently, each left to their thoughts while they waited for news on Annie's condition.

Auggie

Auggie thought about the DVDs he vetted from McQuaid's surveillance of Annie. There was a recording he listened to of Annie talking to McQuaid about how she was hurt by her last relationship. He was pretty sure Annie was talking about him because she wasn't in any relationships that he was aware of. Auggie thought back to when he first met Annie and the course of their friendship. He thought about all the times he had worried for her on missions and being in the hospital brought him back to waiting for Annie to get out of surgery after Lena shot her. It was then that he realized how much he loved her and needed her, but she was in no state to hear that when she recovered. She was on a mission to hunt down Lena because she took Simon away from her and painted Annie as a traitor. He let her finish what she set out to do because he knew her so well, she was determined to seek justice for Simon, Jai, and the many operatives Lena compromised as a double. He knew he couldn't stop her. Then when their time finally came it was short lived and Auggie screwed it up sleeping with Helen in a moment of weakness.

He thought she wasn't hurt that he slept with Helen while she was dark. She said she didn't blame him, she had made the choice to die in order to take down Henry, but she had been lying to protect herself and maybe to protect him from feeling guilty. He knew she hunted Henry for him, for Joan, for Arthur and out of her sense of justice, but she was nevertheless hurt as he had learned from listening to her talk to McQuaid about it.

He only wished her happiness. She was mature about Hayley that morning she came over after the gala and found her in his apartment, the apartment where they once spent a large amount of time together. She even helped with Natasha and was cool about her once she learned Auggie was harboring her.

Henry Wilcox wasn't to blame for their end. The blame was all on Auggie. He couldn't keep it together while Annie went dark, Helen had returned, he was angry and shocked at what Helen did to them. He loved her, was married to her, spent years mourning her and he missed Annie so much. The way he coped with all the emotions was to sleep with Helen. He needed someone and Helen brought back memories of a love that was so consuming, like his love for Annie, he slept with her to be close to the feeling he had with Annie. He was weak and his weakness hurt her. He finally understood why she distanced herself from him when she returned and why she just wanted to go back to being operative and handler.

McQuaid

McQuaid still can't quite process all the events of the last couple of days, especially the last hour that brought the news Annie was pregnant. He started out the week in domestic bliss with Annie and trying to convince her to move in with him. Then she found out about his surveillance of her. Oh God, if only he had told her sooner. He regrets not coming clean earlier and now things were a colossal mess and worse of all, she was physically hurt and could lose their baby. Emotional trauma and pain can heal, but what if she didn't make it. He would never forgive himself. This was a familiar road for Ryan, it took him years to recover from losing his wife and the guilt of not being there for her when she found out about the cancer. He needed to see Annie, he needed her to know just how much he loved her should anything happen to her. And he needed her to know he wanted to have a family with her. He hoped she would come out of this so they could talk.

Ryan remembers Annie's voice during the time he was recovering from his gunshot wounds. He heard everything she said to him. Why she felt she could confide in him when he was unconscious was interesting to him. She told him about Simon and how she found it hard to live with him not knowing she loved him. Her fear that he died not knowing she did care for him. He wanted to make sure Annie knew how much he needed her, sitting there reminded him of his last days with Kelly. He missed his wife, she had been gone for about 15 years. It was time he moved on. He felt guilty in the past for the other women he had dated, none of them serious, but with Annie he didn't feel any guilt at all. He knew Kelly would have approved and he knew she would have wanted him to be happy, but he let her down too. The man Kelly married wouldn't have done such a horrible thing to Annie. She was right, he hadn't felt remorseful about the surveillance. He felt justified in what he did because he was doing it to protect her, the moral ambiguities of his life had finally caught up to him cost him the woman he loved.

Ryan stood up and started to pace. He hoped Annie and his child would make it through surgery. He thought his chance to have a family had passed when Kelly died, none of the women he met after held a candle to Kelly until Annie came along. It's true, their relationship moved fast, but McQuaid was a decisive man and he knew Annie was woman for him after years of being alone. The thought of losing her while she believed he was a bad guy was killing him and the thought of losing the chance to have a family with her made it even worse. He thought of all the times she challenged him, made him a better man, and he hoped he would have a chance repair their relationship. She had to come out of this, he'd even give her up if she did and that's the bargain he was willing to make with God as he prayed for her and their baby to be okay.

Eyal

Eyal had tried to keep Annie's oxygen levels up en route, he knew it was not only important to her survival, but her child's as well. He prayed that lives wouldn't be lost in exchange for his. What price would she pay for saving him? She had suffered enough as a result of her career choice, he didn't want to contribute to her losses. Why didn't his friend listen to his advice when he told her that her heart condition was a gift? He wished she had gotten out when she first came to him in Israel for help. He wished she had taken him up on his offer to stay in his home. Maybe that child she was carrying would be theirs, her illness, his gift, his chance to care for the friend and counterpart he had come to love. Yes, he had to admit it to himself now, he loved Annie Walker.

Eyal didn't reveal it to anyone, but he had become a religious man after his search for revenge still denied him the peace he sought. One high holy day, he returned to synagogue much to his mother's delight and prayed for his beloved sister Sarah and the potential of her unlived youth, the nieces and nephews he would never hold, the brother-in-law he would never have. He would have given anything to see his sister again, but killing her killer brought him no peace. At first he told himself it brought him satisfaction-a life for a life, maybe it did that first year after, but satisfaction wasn't the same as peace. And now his act of revenge for his sister triggered his capture by the brother of the man he killed in DC with Annie's support three years earlier.

It had been nearly 13 years since his sister died and it wasn't over. All of the recent events happened, all in the name of vengeance a vicious cycle that punishes the grieving in perpetuity and brings no resolution. It was his quest for revenge that landed them there in that moment with Annie's life hanging in the balance and what started it all had nothing to do with her or McQuaid or their unborn child.

Eyal was fighting that there needed to be forgiveness for there to be peace, it was challenging for a hardened man, a trained killer like Eyal who had seen and committed terrible acts to embrace the notion of forgiveness, what some might see as weakness. Was it really a weakness to be forgiving or did it take strength of character? Here he was trying to keep his beloved Annie alive through his prayers. He wanted her live out the life she deserved, he prayed that for her along with forgiveness for himself and hoped his God heard him.

He believed in El Shaddai, Almighty God and prayer. Her words to him before she collapsed would ring in his ears, 'you can make Avi's game now and tell McQuaid I forgive him, give him that peace". Eyal left that last part out when he spoke to McQuaid. Eyal shouted at her on the plane, "I'm not letting you die Neshema!"

Annie had made it her mission to get him home to his son and he was either going to be eternally grateful to his friend or eternally guilty if she didn't make it. On the plane ride to the hospital, he had a mission, to get her to the hospital alive, to pray as hard as he ever had in his life for the life she had in her. He knew despite her uncertainty in her abilities to mother, she had a fierceness mothers possess, the desire to protect and help those dear to her. She wanted the child to be okay, he wanted the child for her. It was her way out. He wanted her out of this business and prayed she would leave it if she were to come out alive, he would even be okay if she chose to return to McQuaid, as long as she got out of the surgery alive and out of this unpredictable and dangerous life and that was the bargain he was making with his God.

Eyal looked up after finishing his prayers, he saw McQuaid pacing. He got up and walked towards him, he was ready for another fight in case McQuaid wanted to continue where they left off. McQuaid approached him and said, "Truce?"

"I'm sorry I lost it before," says McQuaid.

"Under the circumstances, I would have done the same thing, maybe worse," says Eyal as he chuckles.

"You're important to her, for Annie to care so much about you, you have to be a decent guy because the Annie I've come to know would only work so hard for someone she cherishes," says McQuaid.

"She's always going to fiercely protect those she cares for, one of her many excellent qualities. I sense you have questions for me. . ."

McQuaid says, "What did you mean when you said she was in agony over what to do?"

"This is what you need to know, if you meant nothing to her she would not have been so shattered by what you did. She didn't want to bring a child into this world alone. She wasn't sure she could have you be part of her life because she didn't trust you and she realized she didn't really know you. The irony is she did want children, but in light of your lies and pretense, she just could not imagine having a child with you. She was filled with pain, doubt and uncertainty. But the last words she spoke were to tell you she forgives you."

It's all hard for Ryan to hear, but he understood why she felt the way she did.

"I know she loves you and you have a lot of work to do to make things right, can I trust that you will make things right with Annie?"

"She was willing to talk to me after we got you out and I hope that hasn't changed. I will spend the rest of my days making up for everything if she'll forgive me. No more lies and secrets."

"Well, you'll have me to answer to me if you hurt her again," said Eyal and it was a serious threat made with his cold and deliberate state. He wasn't going to give up Annie for some smuck. He felt McQuaid was indeed worthy of Annie or else he would have fought hard to have her himself. He saw in McQuaid a reflection of himself. And most importantly, he knew Annie loved him and that was enough for Eyal. He wanted most in the world for her to be happy and truthfully, he wasn't going to quit Mossad anytime soon, it was a life for him and as long as he was with Mossad, he couldn't be with Annie.


	20. Chapter 20 : Concensus

The doctor treating Annie emerged from behind the closed doors.

"August Anderson?"

"Yes, here," says Auggie as he walks towards the voice of the doctor with the rhythmic sound of his cane. The doctor looks at the other two men who have followed Auggie.

"I'm only authorized to speak to August Anderson," says the doctor.

Not wanting to take time to explain or cause any raised eyebrows, Auggie steps away with the doctor while the other men wait impatiently. McQuaid is ready to grab the doctor by his scrubs and pin him to the wall as is Eyal, but both men controlled their impulses knowing it would do more harm than good.

"I'll be right back," says Auggie.

"Ms. Walker's mitral valve needs repair immediately."

"It's repairable?" asks Auggie with a sigh of relief.

"We believe there is a good chance, but we won't know until we get in there and get a better look at the damage, I can't emphasize it enough, we need to do it as soon as possible."

"What about her baby? Is the baby doing okay?" asks Auggie.

The surgeon replies, "For now, the baby's heartbeat is strong, however, the mother may not survive the pregnancy without the surgery. Her heart is working too hard as it is and with the added blood volume pregnancy presents, surgery is the best option for both the mother and child. The longer the patient's heart goes on like this, the more irreparable damage it will sustain over time."

"What are the risks to surgery?" asks Auggie.

"It's hard to tell right now, all surgeries carry risk, but a mitral valve repair is a way better option than allowing the heart to get damaged to the extent that a valve replacement or even worse a transplant is needed," responds the surgeon.

"With the surgery, what will her prognosis be?" asks Auggie.

"The goal of the surgery will be to restore her heart function, and maybe even get it back to her normal with time, she will just have to go through a period of recovery."

McQuaid anxiously looks over at the doctor and Auggie as he tries to decipher the levity of the situation from the look on Auggie's face. Despite all the authority he commanded at work and his sizable net worth, the man felt powerless to help Annie and his child. He didn't even have the right to information about them and their well-being and it was driving him crazy. If only he didn't have his lapse in judgement and had told Annie everything upfront. He should have proposed to her already, he had had the ring for over a week already. But could have and should have wasn't helping him any.

Ryan thought about the engagement ring in his safe intended for Annie, he knew without a doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her since the first night they spent together at his home. Prior to that night, he was fascinated by her and looked forward to all their tumultuous interactions, but knew very little about what was inside Annie Walker other than what was in the files he got his hands on. But he did know there was an attraction he couldn't fight. The more he encountered her, the more he was drawn to her. They hadn't even slept with each other that magical night, they simply spent it talking, eating, drinking and laughing, which in his book made her all the more alluring to him. And finally he remembered that first sweet kiss. He felt like an unsure schoolboy again in that moment as he leaned in towards her. He was hesitant at first thinking that the timing wasn't quite right, but she had come to say good-bye because she thought they wouldn't cross paths any more with her recent suspension. He couldn't let her walk out of his life that easily, so he looked in her eyes and continued to lean in and he was pleasantly surprised when instead of backing away, she leaned towards him. Nothing had felt so right before for him. Then that damned door bell rang.

McQuaid had been physically close to Annie many times before that first kiss at his home. Each of those times, he felt an undeniable urge to care for her and at the same time an awe at her amazing skills in the field. He witnessed her courage and determination first hand. What he would give to be by her side right now. His thoughts go to the time he carried her onto the boat in Maracaibo after he found her unconscious after her fight with Borz, one of his best special ops guys. She'd proven herself a worthy competitor and he had to admit he was surprised. Having so cavalierly turned down his offer to work together, he didn't at all expect her to beat him and his three best men to Borz. He was as usual overly confident in his abilities. When he later found out she was further handicapped by a heart condition, he was even more impressed that she found and took down Borz before him and his entourage. In all honesty, he felt a mixture of shock and embarrassment at his inability to track down Borz with a sizeable lead on a single operative without any back-up or firearms. She had a crowbar from her rental. God, he loved this woman is what he thought as she woke up feisty and ready to take on the doctor. He had hoped she didn't think he was one of those stupidly arrogant, trigger happy, and reckless PMCs he hated being associated with. He knew what many CIA operatives and career soldiers in the various Armed Forces thought of people like him and he hoped she didn't think the same. He had never cared what other people thought, but he wanted to know what was in her head since their tenuous partnership in Venezuela. Ryan looked up and was shaken out of his reverie at the sight of Auggie walking back towards him.

Auggie returns to the two men and relays what he has learned. McQuaid is too stunned to talk. Hearing the news about Annie and the baby makes it unbearable. It brings back so much he had worked hard to bury.

"This decision isn't just mine to make, what do you boys think?"

Eyal says, "Well, Annie was already scheduled to have the surgery, so I think she should have it and as for the baby, if it's God's will for the baby to survive, then it will." McQuaid nods in agreement. "I'd rather her have a chance at living."

Auggie returns to the doctor to tell him to go ahead with the surgery.

"Okay, then, we'll get her prepped right away. It will take 2-4 hours depending on the extent of the damage once we get in there, but this is a fairly routine surgery."

"Can I see her before you sedate her?" asks Eyal.

"We're only allowing family and those listed as her emergency contact."

"Please. She saved my life, she's like family to me."

"Very well, she barely conscious now, you can see her, but just for a minute. We need to get her into surgery," says the doctor before he rushes off.

Auggie goes to call Joan to fill her in on Annie's condition and leaves the men. Truthfully he was afraid to go in. He couldn't see, but he didn't want to hear the machines and be reminded that he's almost lost her twice now. He was relieved that she would be okay. So he went back to his job as her handler. He needed to call it in at Langley and fill in their superiors. He had a feeling that the end of Annie's career as an operative was finally here. It was the beginning of a new life for her and McQuaid. He was honestly relieved. He was glad he would never have to worry about her life being in danger again.

Eyal went in to see Annie at the same time the staff is prepping her for surgery, he wanted to speak to her because he knew that risks were always associated with surgery. His return to Israel was imminent because he heard Rivka had sent a team to help rescue him albeit they would not have gotten here in time. They would now be tasked with escorting him home for debrief. His phone had been ringing non-stop. It was Rivka. He declined the call and walked into the room where Annie lay. The only other time he saw her looking so fragile and tired was after they made it onto the boat when they escaped Russia. Back then the virus that attacked her heart was probably already at work. Eyal wished he could do something, he was a man who was known to be cold, calculating and detached, but not when it came to those he held most dear. He held her hand and prayed in Hebrew. He wanted her to know that he prayed for her like he never prayed in his life. He told her he'd stay as long as he could, but he would honor her by making it to Avi's game. He leaned over and gave her a tender kiss. Annie managed to open her eyes and said, "Toda, neshema." Eyal was happy to hear her voice and see her smile.

McQuaid watched Eyal with Annie through her hospital window seeing Eyal with Annie in person, he could tell the man cared for her, he wondered if their relationship ever went beyond a professional one. When he met her she said she didn't mix business with pleasure. He wondered if she had done so with Eyal Lavin.

McQuaid says to Eyal as he exits the room, "Thank you for being there for her."

"Annie will always have a friend in me. Give her a good life, keep her safe, no more guns for Annie Walker, just diapers and rattles," says Eyal as he gives McQuaid a hug and a warning, "You remember what I said because if you hurt her again, you will hear from me."

McQuaid nods. He heads into the room where Annie's eyes are fluttering, she's fighting the sedation. When she sees him, she says in a whisper, barely audible, "Here for that talk?"

"Huh?"

"I promised, after Eyal . . .thanks again . . ."

"It's okay, save your strength," says Ryan as he sits by her and takes her hand.

"Where's Auggie? Tell him go to Extra Space Storage. . .I have letters for . . ." Annie is weak and can't finish her sentences, talking takes her breath away and all her strength. All he can manage to do is hold her hand and cry. He's not wept like that since the day he held his wife's hand and watched her take her last breath. He gets it together and says, "I'm sorry for everything. I love you with everything that is in me, when you come out of this, I will be here in whatever way you want. I'll understand if you don't want to see me, but I need you to know that I can't see a path forward for me without you with me, by my side."

"Storage unit is where . . . " Her voice trails off.

"I'm sorry sir, it's time to get Ms. Walker into surgery," says a nurse.

"I'm scared Ryan," and those were her last words to him before she went to surgery.

He pulled himself together, she needed him to be strong. So he needed to be strong for her. "Since when does Annie Walker get scared, you're a shark remember? You will come out of this fine and I hope we will be fine too. I love you," shouted McQuaid as they wheeled Annie away.


	21. Chapter 21: Group Therapy

**Wanted to write a scene where the men talk about their mutual feelings for Annie. Not totally happy with it, not sure dudes would be so cool talking about the same woman, the one they all love, but I'd like to think they're all super mature, especially in a grave situation.**

Auggie returns after calling Joan in time to see Annie wheeled off into surgery.

All them important men in Annie's life are gathered in the waiting room Eyal is back to praying and McQuaid is pacing again. Auggie breaks the ice by saying, "looks like we all have something in common."

"You two do, both of you caused Annie an enormous amount of grief," says Eyal with one part sarcasm and one part seriousness.

"What and you haven't?" responds Auggie.

"No, my betrayals were over work, allegiance to my country and agency, Annie understood that and we always moved past it. We always were spies first, friends last, that was our understanding, we used each other to complete our missions, we had no pretense." Eyal is matter of fact.

"Well, then I guess all we have in common is sleeping with her then," says Auggie.

Eyal chuckles, "Annie and I never slept together. Did you really think that? I'm amused, how long ago did you imagine that happened? Nevermind, I consider you a friend, but I don't need to think about you imagining me sleeping with anyone."

Eyal goes on, "You think we'd still be friends if we had slept together? She is way too precious to me to ruin our friendship with a brief romp. What I've learned is friends forgive deceptions and manipulations, friends also have fewer reasons to lie for misguided notions, lovers that is a whole other ball of wax. Lovers have a harder time with forgiveness."

"Well, a little late for the pearls of wisdom," says Auggie.

"I can't lose her, I mean, I never had her to begin with, but she has to make it, she can't die hating me," mumbles McQuaid.

Eyal sighs and says harshly, "You're both making things about you. Don't you give up on her McQuaid! The Annie Walker, I know never gives up, even to her own detriment, so she's going to give her all to come out of this stronger."

Auggie interjects, "Yeah, she hates if anyone, it's me."

Eyal says, "What is this? 'A poor me Annie hates me' support group? Man up gentlemen! You both hurt her, you can't change the past, you just have to live with it. We all make choices we regret, it's done. Stop making it about you."

The men are silent for a few moments.

I'm not in the business of handing out encouragement, but "Auggie, you're her rock at the agency, no matter what happens you will always be her friend and the person she trusts with her life. McQuaid, she may not wear her heart on her sleeve, but I could tell she loved you, she never said it, but her actions in Turkey did. You can get that back."

"And you? What about you and Annie?" asks Auggie.

"Well, we're peas in a pod, like twins separated at birth. Annie can always come to me for help and I will do everything in my power to help her and I know she would do the same for me as evidenced by what she just did at her own peril today. If she leaves this earth, a part of me will go with her."

Finally, Auggie breaks the long silence.

"Looks like enough therapy for one night, we don't all need to be here, the surgeon said 2-4 hours. Why don't you two go home and get cleaned up. I'll stay since I'm the only one they'll talk to. I'll ping you with any updates."

"Eyal, you should get checked out, you looked injured," says McQuaid.

"I'm fine, just a bruised rib or two. Saeed was just a kid, untrained, hardly had the strength training one needs for this sort of work. Any news on him and his men?" asks Eyal

Auggie responds, "Joan and Calder have been in contact with Rossabi. They've been questioning him and his crew. So far it seems like an isolated incident, the kid used his allowance, pretty sizable to fund his fantasy, it doesn't seem connected to an known terrorist group. His family apparently had no idea what he was up to the last few days, they figured he was hunkered down studying for mid-terms. Rivka Singer is also on her way now and will be meeting with Rossabi on the evidence he has on the Israeli embassy attempt."

"Thanks for the update."

"Eyal, thanks for keeping Annie alive back there, the surgeon keeping Annie's heart going and her oxygen levels up on the way made all the difference"

"Maybe I should go back and finish medical school," says Eyal with a laugh.

"Hey, that's not a bad back-up career," responds Auggie.

"I want to be here when she gets out, but I also want to honor her by going to Avi's game. I'll go back to my apartment to shower and pack. I'll stop back here before I sneak out of the country. Rivka's team is going to take me straight to debrief and I will never make the game that way,"

McQuaid says to Eyal, "You can hitch a rid on one of my planes, that way you can evade Mossad and get straight to your boy's game. I believe I have a plane heading to Iraq for a shift change today, they'll be fine with a tag-along. I'll call and let them know."

"That's very generous of you McQuaid. Thank you." They shake hands.

Eyal goes home and McQuaid goes back to his office.

Ryan leaves the hospital, he needs to get back to work. He can't escape the large company he needs to run and the many fires that arise and need his attention. He has to explain and allocate the right accounting codes to his latest mission. He has 23 messages and 147 email messages to comb through. He finally does get through all his work with his phone by his side in case Auggie called. Ryan takes a much needed shower and heads back to the hospital. On the way in he passes the hospital gift shop and sees a stuffed German Shepard in the window. It makes him smile as he is reminded of Annie so he stops in and buys it along a bouquet of hydrangeas.

After a long shower, Eyal wrapped his own torso at home and popped four Tylenol. He packed up his things and cleaned his apartment and took a look around before he headed back to the hospital. He would let Annie know she could stay there indefinitely.

Auggie had Barber bring him a new set of clothes and his laptop. Barber stayed with Auggie for about an hour, they chatted about everything from his new cleansing diet to judo to the DPD's latest tech toys. It was a nice distraction for Auggie who had been replaying the conversation he and the boys had just had about Annie.

After nearly two hours passed, the men have all returned to the hospital looking fresher and eager to hear news about Annie. The surgeon finally emerged, "Your friend is a fighter, she made it through, the next 24-48 hours are critical to see how her heart and body handles the valve repair." McQuaid asks, "And the baby?"

"Tough one, heartbeat remained at steady rate the entire time, unless there are complications mother and child are expected to fully recover. We put in an order for the high risk OB to see her as soon as possible."

All the men are relieved. "May I see her? I need to leave to town, my flight..." says Eyal.

"Are you family?" asks the surgeon.

Auggie says he is, all right then, she's still intubated and heavily sedated, but you can spend a few moments wit her.

Eyal has his time with Annie though she is unconscious, he spends as long as he can before needing to run off to catch the plane. Before he takes off he exacts a promise from Auggie and McQuaid to send an update as soon as Annie is awake. The men part bonded and united in their concern for Annie.

Annie has to remain in post-op recovery overnight, her surgeon is very optimistic and reported that the mitral valve repair was straightforward and there were no complications during surgery. The surgery itself was minimally invasive and the incisions were relatively small. Annie should recover and be released in a day or two. She will need blood thinners to keep from clotting.

McQuaid stays by Annie's side, he is unsure of how he will be received by Annie, so when the doctors are ready to remove her breathing tubes, he steps out and waits in the waiting area. Auggie is with Annie when the doctor removes her breathing tube, Annie asks, "Is Eyal okay? What about my. . ."

"Shh, save your energy." Auggie fills her in on everything that happened at the farmhouse, Eyal's rescue and her surgery. He tells her McQuaid has been pacing the halls. There was a stuffed German Shepherd by her. "McQuaid asked that I put it on your bed." Annie smiles. "What is it? I mean I know it's a stuffed something, but couldn't figure it out."

Annie says, "He knows I love German Shepherds," in a whisper. Annie is still feeling loopy from her medicines, "I suppose you were surprised by my pregnancy."

"Yeah, so was the father. He's not so bad, has kind of grown on me like an oversized puppy. He's been a mess Annie, never thought I'd see a man like McQuaid so vulnerable, he loves you."

"I only found out a couple of days ago, after I found out about the cameras. What am I going to do?"

"I think I'm not the one who should give you advice when it comes to your love life, but I did promise Eyal that we'd get in touch as soon as you woke up, so I'll get him on the line now. He stayed until the last possible moment, McQuaid offered one of his planes to get him home for Avi's game."

Annie smiles. Auggie brings up Skype and Eyal answers. Eyal is happy to see Annie and hear that she will recover. He gives her the news that Avi's team won the championship. "Thank you Annie, I owe you so much and Avi still has his old man because of you. I'm sorry you had to get hurt. If you ever change your mind about Israel, you are always welcome even if you bring that McQuaid character along."

"I'm happy for Avi and so glad you made it." says Annie with a raspy voice. She's starting to fall back asleep.

"Looks like our friend needs some rest," says Auggie as he squeezes Annie's hand.

Auggie leaves the room and continues to talk to Eyal before passing the tablet to McQuaid to chat with Eyal. Auggie returns to the room to ask Annie if she will allow McQuaid to enter the room. "I'm the only one listed as your next of kin. I think you may have to change that Walker. Someone wants to visit and he's a little afraid you may still want to shoot him." She smiles and nods.

McQuaid cautiously enters the room, unsure of how he will be received. Annie says softly, "Hi."

"Avi scored the winning goal. I just got the play by play from one proud Dad," says McQuaid.

"Thank you, so speaking of Dads, we need to talk."

"Annie, we have a lot to talk through, but it can wait until you're feeling better. I just need you to know that I love you and that's real, none of that was pretense, I couldn't live with you thinking that."

"Is love enough? It's never been enough for a lasting relationship, at least not for me."

"I'd like to think love can overcome just about anything. Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up."


	22. Chapter 22: Living Without Guilt

Good thing I had the Thanksgiving holiday as a distraction, I can't wait for this week's episode!

Ryan stays with Annie though a pile of work is waiting on him. He can't afford to be offline for more than a couple of hours and in the last few days he wasn't on the ball at all. With hundreds of active missions, ongoing negotiations for new contracts, and internal issues to manage, Ryan wears many hats and spins many plates, but soon something was going to break. He had to admit that with Arthur and Caitlyn gone, he needed a second in command to help lighten his load. It was something that he had been working on until the last week when Annie learned about what the cameras and surveillance.

Ryan was good at running on empty, it was part of his rigorous training, he was kept up for days, subjected to sleep depravation, and purposeful hardships inflicted to trip him up, yet he never broke or gave up, he couldn't, his life and the lives of his friends depended on it. But now he was at a point where it wasn't about proving that he could pass any test of his will, but about taking time to enjoy all he had accomplished and taking time for relationships.

Ryan steps out to take calls while looking in on Annie through the window. One was from Jim, someone he was considering for his second in command, his Chief Operating Officer. His only hesitation was Jim would hate being behind a desk and forced to wear a suit for meetings with bureaucrats at the Pentagon, Langley, or anywhere he couldn't pack his gun. He was going to die in the field despite Ryan's advice that he needed to slow down and make plans now that he was 40 and his shelf life dwindling. Civilian life was toxic to him Jim would say. He needed the action, it was an addiction of sorts, he'd get all antsy and irritable if he'd been back at the office too long. He couldn't stay married to Janine his college sweetheart, she wasn't enough to keep him home. He watched as he talked to Jim and saw Annie's eyes fluttering. His mind was with her.

"This Annie Walker, was she worth all this trouble?" asked Jim. He knew the answer because he knew his friend and he liked Annie too and saw how she affected Ryan. He meant to talk to Annie after the Eyal mission, to tell her that Ryan was one of the best men he knew, but he didn't get a chance. He hoped she pulled through for his friend's sake because Ryan needed someone, he was always a romantic who would give up the action for a good cause, and Annie was it, Ryan needed her and to be honest, Jim didn't think he'd survive losing another woman.

Jim knew losing Kelly was Ryan's albatross, if Ryan had known she was sick, he would have rushed back to her. Ryan was angry that she kept her cancer from him, angry that she protected him instead of the other way around and that was the worst because after that anger came guilt. He punished himself for not picking up the signs the last time he was home from a mission. She said she was tired from her workload as a junior lawyer, but she was losing her battle already. After that Ryan urged Jim to make it work with Janine. His wife had just died and he kept harping on him to not take his wife for granted. Jim tried for a time, he really did take Ryan's advice to heart, but he wasn't Ryan and although he loved Janine, he realized he loved being in the mix more. She would wait for him to return home and he'd dream of home to help him focus during long hours holding a sniper rifle and during dangerous recon missions. But once home for a few days, he would start itching to get back out. Boredom would set it and he'd take it out on Janine just to feel the rush of a fight. So he let her go though he loved her and devoted his life to the Navy and then McQuaid Securities, believing it unfair to leave a woman and kids behind at home while he engaged in his first love, being a soldier. In essence Jim married his work.

Ryan thought about Jim's question seriously, "was she worth it?" Nothing had gone smoothly since she entered his life, yet everything seemed as it should be. Ryan knew a long time ago that Annie was indeed worth all the trouble and more. He was never one to take or want the easy road and there was still a rocky road ahead full of uncertainty, but Ryan was up for the challenge of Annie Walker. His next challenge being getting Annie to believe he wanted their baby and regaining her trust. Jim was droning on about the pros and cons of taking a contract escorting members of the senate intelligence committee on a trip to Ukraine. "So, take the contract babysitting a bunch of lying politicians?"

"Uh, you make the call Jim. I want you to see this one through."

"What? Before you pulled me to help with Eyal Lavin, I was about to head to Libya. I'd rather go there than chauffeur a bunch of two faced politicians."

"Jim, I need you to take one for the team and play it _safe_ in the Ukraine. Can you do that for me while I hold down the fort here and make sure Annie's okay?"

Jim didn't know that Annie was pregnant, but he knew his friend and boss was in love with Annie even before Ryan acknowledged it himself. He was honestly stoked that Ryan finally found someone worth pursuing so maybe he would stop harassing him about settling down and slowing down. "Well, if you want me to make the sacrifice, I'll do it for Walker. Tell her I hope she gets better soon."

"Thanks man. I appreciate it, I have to go now."

Annie remembers hearing the sound of typing and seeing Ryan on his laptop while she slept off the anesthesia. She tried to force her eyelids open, there was so much to talk about, she couldn't fight sleep, but found it comforting knowing he was there. Ryan finished his call and walked to Annie's bedside, he kisses her tenderly and says, "I love you" as he touches her belly.

He's surprised when he hears her speak though her eyes were still closed, "I had all these dreams and you were in them," says Annie. "Well, that's because I'm the man of your dreams."

"You weren't the only man, I'm pretty sure I'm having a boy."

Ryan is stunned and pleasantly so. "A boy? You mean _we're_ having a boy?"

There's no response, she's drifted back to sleep leaving Ryan stunned in a good way. He pulls up a chair and keeps working for a few minutes before Annie opens her eyes again and continues where she left off, "I saw you and a little boy with your hairline and eyes playing at a playground. I was reading on a bench with Ruby at my feet."

"Annie, I've given you little reason to trust me, but I'm here for you and for the baby if that's what you want. I want you to make the choice that is right for you."

Annie smiles as she says, "I was scared, but I'm not anymore." Then she drifts back into her drug-induced slumber while Ryan isn't sure what she meant. He wants to shake her awake so they can talk more, so he can find out what she was trying to say, so he could pin down Annie Walker's feelings for a change. But his computer dings as more emails come through and his phone buzzes signifying another voicemail. He looks at her sleeping peacefully and holds to her words, "I'm pretty sure I'm having a boy" to mean that she wants to be a mother to his child. He smiles as he gets back to work.


	23. Chapter 23: Devoted

**Tell me what you think of this chapter! Just another two days until the 514!**

Annie awakens the next morning with a dry mouth and chapped lips. She's much more lucid and winces in pain as she shifts to look for the buttons to elevate the head of her bed. Ryan has dozed off at the chair where he spent the night working and on the phone with European and Middle Eastern clients. He awakens as soon as he hears the sounds of the bed raising. Annie says, "You slept here? You should have gone home McQuaid."

Ryan gets up and happily walks over to Annie's bedside. "No where else I'd rather be, I didn't want you to wake up alone, besides I've slept in worse conditions."

Annie tries unsuccessfully to reach for the standard hospital issue pitcher of water and cup on the table at the foot of her bed.

"You know I'm right here, it's okay to ask for help," says Ryan as he wheels the table closer to Annie. He's flabbergasted at her need to be independent, to do everything on her own, even when in pain. It's a quality he also possesses and one he admires in her, but he can see it also exasperating him. He hopes she can learn to trust him and lean on him, even if just for a drink of water.

"I'm really thirsty, would you please . . ." says Annie as she shifts her body and looks away from Ryan. Annie's uncomfortable relying on him, he notes her body language. She always was a bit weary of asking for help from anyone, but now, she's especially weary of accepting help from Ryan even for something as small as a glass of water. She doesn't want him to feel obligated to her because of the baby or to pity her because she's lying in a hospital bed. She wonders what he knows as she tries to remember everything that happened after they rescued Eyal.

Ryan watches Annie as he pours her water, then removes the wrapper from a straw, drops it in the cup, and holds the cup close to her lips so she can drink without moving too much. He noticed that she made a face each time she moved. She must be hurting and he wanted to take it away.

Annie shifts to get comfortable. She's still trying to go over everything that has transpired and looks out the window at the rising sun. "How long was I out? Is my . . . "

"We got Eyal out nearly 36 hours ago, we got you here where they assessed your heart for a couple of hours, then recommended surgery. Auggie, Eyal and I gave the go ahead for the heart surgery. You were in there for the longest three hours of my life. After that you were in post-op recovering from your mitral valve repair for about eight hours before they removed breathing tubes and brought you here where you've been sleeping. The cardiothoracic surgeon was able to repair your heart Annie. You're going to be good as new."

Annie is stunned. Some of what happened starts coming back to her. She remembers being on the plane and then being wheeled into the ER. She's processing the information and says, "Really? Um, I need to talk to my doctor about. . ."

"Everything's fine Walker, you'll need 4-6 weeks before you can jump into the Potomac again, run a 10K or take on a man twice your weight, but you're going to recover."

"I need to talk to a doctor," says Annie as she looks for the call button.

"You want to know about the baby is that it?" Ryan realizes that she's treading carefully because she doesn't recall that he already knows about the baby.

"You already know," says Annie, not surprised, she has snippets of conversations coming back to her.

"You don't remember our conversations?"

"Bits and pieces, I was having a lot dreams, it's hard to distinguish what was real and what wasn't. All the drugs and the surgery, everything's so hazy. Are the drugs okay for the baby? Can you please get the doctor for me?" Ryan is smiling, assured that she is worried about the baby because it's a sign she cares about the baby and perhaps will want to carry their child.

"The surgeons made their rounds earlier, I already asked about the drugs and your recovery process. He said the drugs are fine for the baby in limited doses, I don't see you needed to shoot up on the stuff, so stop worrying. The baby did great during the surgery. They were monitoring the baby's heartbeat throughout. There was never a change."

Annie looks relieved. "Thank you."

"So, how are you feeling?"

"I'm starving, guess I haven't eaten much at all and my lips are cracking."

"Are you in any pain? It's okay to use the morphine drip."

"I'm good, thanks."

"Really? Looks like it hurts when you move."

"That's why I'm not moving much, I'm okay, I can take it."

"You don't have to be so stoic."

"I don't want the baby hooked on morphine okay?"

Ryan laughs. "I'll get you some food from the cafeteria, you do need to eat, what would you like?" asked Ryan as he reached into his pocket for a tube of Carmex and twisted off the top. He got closer to Annie and applied it to her lips causing Annie to give him a strange look.

"You carry lip balm in your pocket?" she says as she moves her lips to spread the Carmex around.

"Yeah, I have some gum too if you want."

"Who would have guessed."

"It's out of habit, been doing it since my days in the Navy. It's my good luck charm and very utilitarian in the desert. SEALS can be superstitious, you know? So I never leave home without it."

"Now that I think of it, I remember a tube left at my apartment when I was cleaning it out, who would have figured."

"That little tidbit bit of info about me doesn't trump your news, why didn't you tell me Annie?"

"I was busy coming to terms with what I discovered at your home and being angry with you. I was shocked by the news and in denial. I didn't know what to do, then everything happened with Eyal, have you forgotten?"

"No, but I was hoping you forgot my folly. Annie, I hated it when you were angry and distrustful of me. You have to believe that I had only good intentions when I put cameras at your place and tracking devices on your phone and car."

"Ryan, I was going to tell you eventually, I didn't plan this pregnancy and I'm not sure how you feel about everything, I still have a lot of questions and I don't know how our relationship can recover, how I can recover from..."

Immediately crushed and disappointed, Ryan says, "So you don't remember anything you said to me last night?"

Annie is worried, "Why, what did I say?"

Ryan gives his devious crooked smile, "That you forgive me and that you're not scared about having our boy."

"I don't remember any of that, but. . . .boy?"

"We can talk more later, we do have more to discuss like how you keep putting yourself in harm's way. You got lucky Walker, Eyal, he saved you on that plane. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

"Ryan, you knew about my condition when we first worked together and it never factored into how you treated me. I'm wired for mission remember?"

"We'll talk more later. I'll be right back. Any preferences?"

"Just about anything sounds good right now. And how about some ice cream for dessert?"

Ryan flashes his smile. "You got it."

Ryan is happy when he leaves, she's talking and not yelling or ignoring him that was a good sign. Mostly, she was accepting his help and he was happy to provide it by getting her some food. He didn't want to push it with Annie in the room, he had tried to stop her from going on the mission to rescue Eyal because of her heart condition, but after he found out she was pregnant, he was concerned that she risked herself _and_ the baby. His fear was she only did so because she didn't plan on going through with the pregnancy.

Annie looks out the window after Ryan left to pick up food pondering what was next. There sure had been a lot of drama in her life the last couple of years. She was ready to slow down, but realized she had no place to live! She just gave up her apartment. Eyal offered his place, but she couldn't stay there long term. She supposed it would do for a week or so while she got better and could find another place. Annie drinks some more water and tries to remember what she might have said to Ryan in her drug induced stupor.

Annie is interrupted by a woman wheeling in an ultrasound machine.

"Hello Ms. Walker, I'm Dr. Cantor, the high risk OB on call. I'm here to check you out and do an ultrasound. How are you feeling?"

"I'm hungry, but also worried about the baby."

"That's a good sign, eat when you're hungry, but don't overdo it. As for the baby, we'll take a look, but I monitored the baby's heart rate during the surgery and everything was fine. You'd be amazed at the resiliency of fetuses."

"What about all the drugs that have been used for my heart and during surgery, will those adversely affect my baby? Also I drank and ate sushi before I found out."

"Ms. Walker, all newly pregnant women worry about the same things. You're fine. Many Europeans still have a bit of wine while expecting and you think the Japanese give up sushi while pregnant? Everything in moderation is fine, best not to worry yourself."

Ryan returns to the room with food saying, "I got you some creamy tomato soup, a grilled cheese Panini, side salad and cookies and cream for dessert."

Ryan wasn't expecting anyone in the room and looked at Annie. "Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm fine. This is Dr. Cantor a high risk OB."

"Dr. Cantor this is Ryan, the father."

"Yes, I'm the father," says Ryan as he extends his hand. It was so surreal for him to say it out loud, but he did want to be a father although get ahead of himself because there was so much unfinished business with Annie.

"Dr. Cantor, it's complicated, we're not sure what will happen." says Annie.

"Well, if you don't mind another five minutes before you eat, let's get started, is the gentleman staying or going during the exam?" says Doctor Cantor.

"Maybe you don't remember last night, but I'm here for you no matter what you decide." says Ryan with a warm smile and devoted eyes. Annie says nothing for a moment making Ryan squirm inside.

Finally, she asks, "Ryan, I'd like it if you stayed."

"So I gather this is an unplanned pregnancy. Let's take a look at this baby and then we can chat about next steps," says the obstetrician as she prepares the ultrasound gel. "So, you're very lucky to have had the successful mitral valve repair, it gives you and your baby a chance. According to your chart, you are six weeks and three days pregnant."

The doctor turns the screen towards the couple and says, "You see here? This is the outline of the fetus and the flashing or flickering is its heartbeat. It looks very strong." Together they see their baby for the first time. And in that moment as Annie sees the heartbeat flicker on the screen, she is overwhelmed with the need to protect and love the life growing inside her, tears roll down her cheeks. She realizes the feeling she is having is complete love and devotion. Annie finally understands what Eyal meant when he called this turn of events a gift. She didn't get it a couple of months ago when he called her heart condition a gift. Eyal was right, chances like this won't keep coming for her. She needed to seize it, she was already 34, how many more chances would she have to be a mother or to get out unscathed?

Meanwhile Ryan is also stunned by the screen's images. It all seems real so now. He was mesmerized by the screen and didn't notice at first that Annie had tears rolling down her cheeks. He puts his arms around Annie and says, "I love you and that baby in there. I'm not going to stop showing you how much I mean that."

Dr. Cantor says, "Let me just take a look around."

Ryan looks concerned, "Dr. Cantor, is everything okay?"

"Just give me a minute to take some measurements,"

"Okay, your dates may be off a bit, the baby is measuring closer to seven weeks."

Annie and Ryan look at each other as they calculate in their heads, "The safe house," says Annie. "Our first time together."

The doctor takes the probe out of Annie and continues, "Due to your recent heart surgery and heart condition, I recommend you have weekly prenatal check-ups for the next month, and if everything looks good in the second trimester, you can move to every other week if you choose to have this baby. Now have you been experiencing any nausea or cramping?"

"I was feeling pretty nauseous and more tired than I ever felt the last few days. I thought it was a result of stress and my heart condition, I had a lot of unexpected news to digest the last few days." Ryan's stomach drops as he hears her talking about the effect the last couple of days had had on her knowing he was the chief cause of her stress.

The doctor presses some buttons on the machine and prints up some pictures of the baby and hands them to Annie. "Here, for your scrapbooks. Now I'll leave a prescription for prenatal vitamins, remember to take it easy, and eat healthy even if you haven't made a decision about whether to keep the baby or not. Pregnancy is a lot of work on a woman's body, you will feel tired and morning sickness hits throughout the day during the first trimester and beyond for some women, eat many small meals to help with nausea. Now if you choose to abort, its better sooner than later, I recommend you make a decision soon."

"Doctor, can you remove records of my pregnancy? It's complicated, but I don't want my pregnancy recorded anywhere."

"I'll delete the record of this ultrasound, but you'll have to take care of the surgeon's notes with him as well as the hospital records." You don't need a prescription for prenatal vitamins, you can buy them over the counter, but I recommend on with DHA. And not to rush you, but I'm here all day and tomorrow, it would be best to terminate before you leave the hospital since you're already here and I'm familiar with your case."

"Thank you," says Annie as the doctor leaves the room.

Ryan takes the food out from the packaging and arranges it on the hospital table for Annie, all the while not taking his eyes off of her. "You're worried? What's bothering you?"

"I don't know, just want to be careful. I thought I covered my heart condition up pretty well and still it seemed after the information got out, too many people knew. Doesn't sit well with me."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you or our baby. I'll make sure all the records are scrubbed clean. Here, have something to eat."

Annie eats a little of what Ryan brought as she talks to him.

"I've learned not to let my guard down and you aren't responsible for me."

McQuaid sits down next to Annie and sighs, "I know your guard is still up when it comes to me. I will support whatever decision you make regarding the baby, but for the record, I want a chance to be with you, to be your partner, to look after you and to be a father to our baby. I promise you, there are no more secrets, I won't keep things from you any longer, I won't let you down again Annie."

"I can see that you're sorry, but are you saying all of this out of guilt and obligation or because you really want this? I don't trust my instincts when it comes to relationships anymore. I'm tired of my life being so complicated and dramatic. My life has always been less complicated when I'm on my own."

Ryan doesn't know what to think, she said, life was less complicated when she's on her own. Does that mean on her own with the baby or on her own alone and by herself?

"If you want to end the pregnancy, I'll support you, it's completely your choice and I have no right to influence you, but there's still the matter of us, we've gotten messy and that's my fault. You know life is complicated, but because we've made it that way. Even if the baby weren't in the picture I'd still be here with you, you need to believe that. I would still be trying to win your affections and trust in me again. It's simple really, I love you and want to be with you, baby or no baby. And didn't we have a lot of good times together? You don't have to be alone."

Annie opens up the ice cream and hands Ryan a spoon. "We really don't know each other that well. It's been less than three months. Case in point, cookies and cream, not in my top three favorite flavors. You really think we can make it raising a child together? I don't want to mess up another life. I've already screwed mine up."

"Walker, you're no screw up. You need to be proud of everything you've done for the agency and for this country."

They polish off the pint of ice cream. "You could have fooled me about the Cookies and Cream, so what are your top three favorite flavors?"

"You'll have to wait to find out. I'm getting tired, can you talk to Auggie for me about eradicating any information about my pregnancy from the records here, this is a civilian hospital, he knows what to do, he's done it before. I want to make sure there's no record of my pregnancy."

"I'll take care of it and I take that to mean, you are going through with the pregnancy?"

"I don't know what the future holds, but I do believe this baby is a gift and a signal that it's time to take a different turn."

"Annie, I'm so happy to hear you say that. I want to take care of you and our baby boy. We're both wired for mission and we can make it our mission to have a happy family."

Annie is growing tired, the rush of activity with the ultrasound and talking to Ryan has worn her out. "What's this business about a boy, you know something I don't? I think it's too early to tell."

"Yes, remember you told me last night you thought the baby was a boy based on your dreams."

Annie smiles, Ryan's words trigger her subconscious. "I remember now, he was handsome in a goofy way, like his father."

Annie falls asleep holding the ultrasound pictures in one hand and McQuaid's hand in her other.

As soon as she's asleep, McQuaid goes to work on getting things ready for when Annie gets discharged from the hospital and back to his home. She's right, she needs to be safeguarded against possible threats. Anyone can access her information and the FSB knew about her heart according to Annie's reports about her encounters with Belenko and Olga. He didn't want anything to jeopardize her or their child again. McQuaid makes a call to Auggie for help. After working with Auggie and knowing how he felt about Annie, he knew he could trust him with Annie's life.


	24. Chapter 24: New Beginnings

Annie wakes up after sleeping for a couple of hours and sees Auggie with his headphones on and laptop out. "Hi there, I was wondering when I'd see you."

"Ryan called me, said you needed a favor, so I took a long lunch. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks. And thank you for cleaning up for me. I don't want to take any chances after everything that's happened."

The nurse comes in and says it's time for Annie to have her catheter removed and to try to walk around. "You don't have to step out Auggie, it's nothing you haven't seen," says Annie. Auggie remembers that he was there when the very same thing happened after she recovered from her gun shot wounds, except that time, he left the room. It was odd to be there while his ex-girlfriend was recovering from heart surgery while carrying another man's baby. Even odder, Auggie wasn't feeling jealous, he wasn't sure what he was feeling other than relieved that Annie was safe. He was in no position to be a father and truthfully he was glad it wasn't him going through this with Annie.

Auggie chuckles at her joke. He's uncomfortable hearing the nurse talk Annie through the catheter removal, but stays and then helps Annie get up to walk the halls. He's happy to be guiding her for a change. "So, what you going to do with the little package you got?"

"I don't think I'll be returning it if that's what you mean."

"Well, I you do a great job protecting and taking care of packages. A little time off from your dramatic life is a good thing, is that where you're heading?"

"Bathroom quick!" Auggie quickly guides her back to her room where she beelines for the bathroom and throws up most of her lunch.

"Are you all right in there?" asks Auggie.

Annie emerges, "Yeah, it's strange, as soon as I throw up, the incision point and my throat from the breathing tube bothers me more than the nausea."

"Let's get you back in bed."

Annie gets back in and feels like she just ran a marathon. "Auggie, I want to talk more, but I'm worn out, thanks for the work out."

Auggie stays with Annie until McQuaid returns from work.

"Thanks Anderson, appreciate it," says Ryan.

"When it comes to Annie, I hope you know, I'll always be there for her."

"Thank you, I'm glad she has a friend like you."

"Annie asked me to locate a safe house for her. I'll get to work on that and be back when she's discharged tomorrow."

"She did what?"

"You two haven't talked? She gave up her apartment and was moving out when Eyal was taken, the sweep team cleared out her place and put things in storage."

Ryan is displeased and it shows on his face, no, he didn't talk with Annie about next steps, he just assumed she'd go home with him. She had planned on moving in and he figured they got back to that point.

"Auggie before you spend time apartment hunting, let me talk to Annie. I was going to take her home, it was the plan before she found out about the cameras and I'm sure under the circumstances, Annie will agree that it's the best course of action."

Auggie sighs, "A word of advice, Annie doesn't take well to be told what to do. She is very independent and closed off."

"I got a dose of that, but I like breaking tough nuts."

"Okay, give me a call if you need anything else, tell Annie I said good-bye."

The men shake hands.

"It's dinner time, time to eat Annie," says Ryan as he wakes Annie. She had been asleep for about two hours. He hated to wake her, but he wanted to make sure she ate and he needed to talk to her about living arrangements.

"Hi," says Annie as she looks around. "Auggie left?"

"That was a couple of hours ago. Um, he and I spoke, you asked him to locate a safe house for you?"

"Yeah, I realized I'm homeless at the moment. I can stay at a hotel for a day or two, but I'm going to need to find a nest." Annie starts to eat the food delivered to her room. She doesn't think it's a big deal and doesn't realize Ryan is upset.

Ryan sighs deeply, "Did I miss something?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought after yesterday and our conversation after the ultrasound that we were good, that we're back to the way things were before, that we're back together and back to the original plan of you moving in with me."

Annie stops eating and looks at McQuaid, "I know I've been a bit hazy, but were we part of the same conversation? I don't remember anything being said about me moving in with you." She takes another bite, she's starving after losing her lunch.

"Ok, maybe I made a leap, but we're having a child together and before things went haywire, you were going to move in with me. So, let me make it clearer, will you Annie Walker share a home with me?"

"Ryan, do you think that's the best course of action for us because I'm not so sure, my life has been complicated and I want to keep things simple," says Annie continuing to eat.

"Can I ask for a chance? We can keep it simple and keep getting to know each other, the way I see it, we're great together and we'll be great parents together. We can take it slow if that's what you want."

Annie is quietly eating and thinking.

"I've been having the place set up for you, I had a hospital bed delivered and vetted home care attendants today. The fridge is stocked with healthy food and your favorite ice cream flavors. Our home is waiting for you Annie, I'm waiting for you to make it a home and not just a house."

Annie looks into Ryan's eyes. She's touched and surprised. He's managed to catch her off guard again by being so thoughtful and attentive to her needs. "You made a big leap Mister. You're awfully confident."

"That's one of the qualities you like about me isn't it?" says Ryan flirtatiously.

"So, what do you say?" asks Ryan as he sits down beside Annie.

Annie thinks about it making Ryan sweat and think about what else he needs to say to convince her that she can let him in. Finally, she nods showing her assent and puts a huge smile on Ryan's face.


	25. Chapter 25: Back to Normal

The next morning, Ryan is there when Annie is getting discharged from the hospital. He brings her a pair of soft leggings and a button down knit shirt. Then helps her change. They listen to her discharge orders together and instructions on Annie's meds and post-op care. Ryan says, "I'm going to make sure you stick to the instructions. Doctor's orders, not mine." Then Ryan heads to get the car while the nurse wheels Annie to the curb.

As Ryan gets the car, he's feeling happy, it took some convincing, but he got Annie to come home with him. It was the plan before Annie happened into the Panic Room, so it wasn't a huge stretch. She fought him at first, she was wary of him, he knew it, but he also knew that she still had strong feelings for him. Ryan wasn't sure what she was thinking when she wanted to get her own place, she was weak and in pain from her surgery. She had no one to care for her or to help her with showering, prepping meals, and dressing. How was she going to take care of herself? Knowing her, she was going to get it done at a cost to her recovery just to prove she could, but that wasn't going to happen, thankfully.

Ryan helps Annie ease herself into the backseat of the car. The nurse had warned against sitting in the front in case the air bags deployed. Annie is happy to feel the sunshine on her head and face. "Everything good back there?"

"Never been better. Remembering a time when I was driving and you were slouched in the backseat."

"Not one of my finest moments, but the silver lining was I got closer to you. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, never rang truer."

He sees Annie smile in the rear view mirror. "We've had more than our share of danger, let's hope things are quieter here on out," says Annie.

"Oh, I can guarantee quiet for the next seven or so months, but after that all bets are off. I'm looking forward a different adventure with you." says Ryan as he laughs.

Ryan got one of his new hires who was waiting for an assignment to "hang out" with Annie during the day for the first few days after she's discharged, she still needs to take it easy and be driven to post-op appointments. He tries his best to work from home when he can, but he has to make meetings and go on short trips out of town. They find an OB at Walter Reed who Ryan pays under the table to make home visits. He won't take any chances with Annie and the baby's health and safety.

Being otherwise healthy and in good physical shape Annie recovers quickly and eases back into an easy routine of swimming and yoga. She starts to watch cooking shows during her recovery and tries to make some meals for them which Ryan willingly eats (though her cooking still needs work). They have a surprisingly normal and mundane existence, back to where they were before Annie found out about the panic room's contents. Ryan hasn't gone out in the field since he's still recovering and rebuilding his company.

Annie has another month added to her medical leave and uses that time to avail herself of the CIA's therapy and debriefings she never quite finished. She heads into Langley a couple of times a week for her therapy and has lunch with Joan, Auggie and Barber. Calder even joined them once though he was called away as soon as he took his first bite.

It's decided between her and Joan that she would be a language specialist when she returned to the CIA and work at a desk until her maternity leave. Annie also uses the time at home to learn a new language, Swahili.

The panic room repairs are nearly completed. McQuaid is doing the work himself at night and during weekends, not trusting any outside contractors while Annie is in the house. He has a nagging feeling that he has to get it done. Ryan has a supply of baby care items, diapers, water, and formula put inside now that he has more than himself to worry about. Annie hasn't gone back in, she's been staying in the guest room, which Ryan completely understood though he wanted her to have the Master.

Annie and Eyal talked a couple of times after she got out of the hospital, but knew they couldn't keep up regular communication. The last time they talked, he said, he had to go on a long term assignment, "We'll see each other again Neshema. One day you'll just pop up somewhere or I will, you'll see." Annie wondered when that would be now that she was not going to be in the field in the near future, but she accepted it. Truthfully, it was too hard for Eyal to remain in touch with her, he'd rather let their paths cross unexpectedly, kismet as he liked to believe.

McQuaid and Annie spend evenings together when he's not traveling for work or off at networking dinners wining and dining DC's power players. They are getting to know each other by living their lives, watching the news, going for walks and sharing dinner and having conversations about their days. They find a reputable German Shepherd breeder and settle on a pup, just born a few weeks ago. They need to wait until the dog has weaned before taking her home. They visit the pup over the weekends to bond. For the first time in ages Annie has some "normal" and realizes she could do "normal" and quiet. She's oddly content and happily anticipating becoming a mother. Maybe the drive to have constant action and excitement had worn off now that she was about to become a mother. Maybe needing to be in the field was a chapter of Annie's life that she could close.

Annie thinks about contacting Danielle. She is happy to have McQuaid to share ice cream with, but what she really wanted was to share her news with her big sister. But she still thought Annie was dead. Annie spends hours drafting a letter to Danielle telling her everything that's happened, but keeps scrubbing her drafts and rewriting the letter.

Ryan asked her what she was working on, but she didn't want to talk about it at first. He didn't know much about her family life beyond little snippets here and there. He had already violated her enough so he refrained from doing any more research on her family or her past. He vowed he'd get to know her the old fashioned way without using the vast resources at his disposal.

Ryan is curious as he works on his laptop reading mission reports. He's reminded of Maracaibo because of a report from one of his operatives there to track down another fugitive. "Hey Walker, you know what I've always wondered about?

Annie is reading one of the many pregnancy and new baby care books she and McQuaid have purchased. She looks up from her end of the couch, "What's that?"

"Remember our time in Maracaibo?"

"As much as I want to forget that mission, it's clear as day, why?"

"Well, I got out of being cuffed with cold cash and left with a lead to track down Borz. I found the phone that you stashed on my Rover and dumped it, nice move by the way, So how did you manage to get out of being detained by the police and how'd you find Borz before my guys and I did?"

"Has that been weighing on you the last couple of months now? Didn't like to be beat by a lone female operative who used her wits instead of brawn and endless amounts of cash, huh? You know money doesn't buy everything," says Annie with a sly smile.

He laughs, "How'd you track him down so fast?"

"Best lead was the Imam's daughter, once I found her it was easy to turn her. I know how to talk to a lonely and bored girl. I got the lowdown on him and moved in."

"You know you should have teamed up with me earlier, it might have gone down differently you know," says Ryan.

"I think I did fine on my own, you're just cut up because I found him first." The conversation is getting a bit intense.

"Don't forget I saved you, I found you unconscious on that dock and got you the medical care you needed. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if I didn't come upon you."

"Yeah, you got there after I chased down and knocked Borz unconscious by myself, a thank you would suffice."

"What was your plan? Borz could have regained consciousness before you and rolled you into the river or found some other way to take care of you. Did you think of that?" says an incredulous Ryan. The emotions of watching Annie hurt and vulnerable return.

"I wasn't expecting to have an episode in that moment. My plan was to take him down and then extract him for questioning."

"When I saw you lying there, my heart stopped. I felt like a jackass for leaving you on cuffed to that curb. You promise me, you won't make dangerous calls like that again?"

"I don't think I'll be out in the field anytime soon. Still have the matter of my medical clearance to work on."

"Knowing you, you'll get back in shape in no time. So are you going to tell me how you got out of police custody?"

Annie smiles slowly.

"Okay, you be the Venezuelan military police and I'll play Andrea Quinn, my cover while I was in Maracaibo," says Annie excitedly. She wanted to lighten things up.

"Are you serious?"

"Do you want to know or not?"

In that moment, McQuaid is washed in love for her. He can't say it enough. He loves how she talks to him and challenges him. She's just beautiful sitting there on the couch barefoot in her leggings, tank top and loose cardigan.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Just act like a cop who caught a woman hovering over a body."

Ryan thinks about it, then says, "Ms. Quinn, why were you hovering over the corpse of a man who was just shot?"

Annie plays the ditzy blond to a tee. "Well, I don't know, I was curious I guess. I've never seen a dead body before."

"And what brought you to Venezuela?"

"It's kind of embarrassing, but I to see a doctor."

"A doctor?"

"I came for breast implants, it's so much cheaper here than back home in Canada." Annie looks down sheepishly embarrassed. "It was my boyfriend's idea."

McQuaid is laughing so hard, "Seriously, that got you off? How do you come up with this stuff off the cuff and the acting, you're amazing Annie Walker. Should I start to wonder what about what you say to me?"

"What can I say, they trained me well at The Farm, and that's why I was one of the best operatives Langley had out there, one that could beat four guys flashing a ton of cash."

"No, no Walker, some of this you can't teach or learn, you amaze me, you're a natural at improvisation. You have a career in Hollywood if being a field operative doesn't work out for you."

"You'd support me continuing as an operative after the baby?"

"Why wouldn't I be? You'd be okay with me going out in the field if needed, right? You know I still like to get my hands dirty every once in awhile."

Annie smiles. "Of course, we're all in this for the love of country, for the greater good, to keep Americans safe here and abroad. Our country needs people like us."

"You're so damn sexy to me right now, from the Andrea Quinn bit to being a supportive partner and patriot, though I have to say as your boyfriend, I would NEVER suggest you need a boob job, they're looking pretty ample right now. Pregnancy suits you Walker."

"Well, that's what the soldier said to me too."

"Huh? What else did you have to do to get out of custody," asks a somewhat worried McQuaid.

"Relax, he just let me know that I was beautiful as I was, that I didn't need breast implants. I haven't had to use my womanly ways that much in my time as an operative." Annie remembers Simon, but he wasn't a sacrifice at the time, but just as quickly as he entered her mind, he left as McQuaid continued to kiss her and heightened her senses. He pulled her off the couch and walked backwards with his hands on the edges of her cardigan leading her to the Master bedroom. She kisses him back as he reaches those ample breasts they were just talking about. They land in bed taking their time enjoying each other. Ryan is gentle with Annie, drawing out every touch and every kiss, all the while he's is thinking he's the luckiest man alive. She makes him feel complete, he's loving his life with her.

After they make love for the first time since Annie's surgery, they lie in bed talking some more. "You want to spend the night?"

"Um, in case you haven't noticed, I've been living here for the last two weeks."

"I mean here, in the Master with me."

Annie smiles. "Sure, I'd love that. I just need to get something first."

"Stay right here, I'll go get your drug and vitamin cocktail, want anything else? Nevermind, I know mint tea and ice cream. What will it be tonight? Rocky Road, Green Tea or the Vanilla Fudge Ripple?"

Annie looks at Ryan, "I can get it myself."

Ryan looks at Annie, "Stay put and rest, let me serve the pregnant lady. Here, take a look at these baby names," says McQuaid as he hands her a book of baby names.

Annie smiles, "I see what you're doing here"

"What am I doing?"

"Trying to keep me here in your room."

"It's _our_ room and why is that a bad thing? It's about time no? You've been here for two weeks."

"Has it been that long?"

"Well, the baby is nine weeks and a day old in there and you got here at seven weeks and a day so, yeah, that makes it two weeks," says McQuaid as he gently rubs Annie's belly. She looks at him and puts her hand on top of his and then runs her fingers along the back of his hand. "You've been keeping track?"

"Well, yeah, I want to know what's going on inside there, so I've been keeping track and doing my research. At week nine the baby is the size of a grape and his heart has formed into four chambers." says Ryan as he leans in and kisses Annie tenderly. Annie narrows her eyes, remembering another time he had gone and done research on her heart condition. It was a moment that endeared him to her back in Azerbaijan.

"Where have you been all my life? I love you Ryan McQuaid," says Annie. Ryan stops and looks at her. "Well, I was wondering when you'd admit it. I'll memorize every week just to hear you tell me you love me." Annie laughs and pushes him away from her.

"I'll take some Vanilla Fudge Ripple."

"I love you too Annie Walker, don't you ever doubt it," says Ryan.

Ryan returns in five minutes with Annie's tea, medications, big bowl of ice cream, and two spoons.

"Come up with any good ones?" asks Ryan referring to baby names.

"I don't know, I always liked good old fashioned names, the classics, nothing trendy."

"Same here, maybe something with a bit of Irish?"

"I like your name, how about Ryan Junior?"

He smiles. "I'm not sure I want my boy to feel like he has to live up to a name."

The happy couple enjoys their ice cream in bed while debating baby names.


	26. Chapter 26: Annie's Sacrifice

Note: It was a long build up to this chapter where we finally hear from Ivan Kravec. He was the original inspiration for this story, but it took a long road to get here.

Annie is about 12 weeks pregnant and nearly a month has passed since her surgery. Annie's cardiologist said her heart was close to functioning normally so she eases into a more rigorous exercise than swimming and yoga and is allowed to drive. Her weekly prenatal visits show that her baby is developing normally and is healthy. Annie's nausea was dissipating now that she was entering her second trimester. Ryan and Annie plan a few days away to celebrate her recovery, with the doctor's okay, they go to Ryan's beach house on the Virginia coast.

Ryan never quite mastered vacationing, he still has to take a couple of calls and get read in on active missions everyday, but Annie enjoys reading and walking, sometimes jogging along the beach in solitude while he works. Sometimes he gets Annie's thoughts and opinions on missions, he's feeling her out to see if she may want to reconsider McQuaid Securities rather than return to the CIA. She was afterall one of the most skilled spies he had met, he had an idea of how she could work for him. He wanted her to train his top people in the art of spycraft, she did have it down as an art. He was back at the house making lunch and talking to Jim, his interim Chief Operating Officer.

Meanwhile things are abuzz at the DPD. For the last couple of hours, they have been working nonstop. After all the past mistakes and not running down leads with certainty, everyone is skittish about making calls without proper vetting. Auggie had been trying Annie's cell. He notices it buzzing incessantly. Ryan goes to Annie's phone and sees that Auggie has called three times in succession. Then Ryan's phone buzzes while he's on with Jim. Sensing that something was up, he tells Jim he'll call him back. Jim says, "It must be important because Joan Campbell is calling me on my landline. Langley wants to reach you. Never a good sign."

"Just to be safe, will you send some guys over this way, I don't have a good feeling about this Jim."

"I'm on it."

Ryan hopes he's wrong, but he can't tamp his growing concern, he runs out to look for Annie on the beach. He listens to his voicemail from Auggie. Apparently there's critical intel that concerns Annie and Langley is sending a ride. He doesn't see her on the beach and begins to panic. He shouts out for her, she's nowhere to be seen in either direction. He looks at his watch, she said she'd be back at noon for lunch and it was five minutes past noon. He keeps shouting her name with more ferocity. He turns around and runs back towards the house when he sees her inside looking puzzled. She walks to the French doors leading to the deck and and arrives at the top of the steps leading to the sand. "I'm right here, what's going on? I heard you from the front of the house."

He runs towards her and embraces her tightly, then kisses her. "Where were you? I didn't see you along the beach. Take your phone next time."

"I came around the front. I was clearing that spot we said was perfect to plant tree." Ryan leads Annie inside while looking around the house. "Did you see anything unusual out front?" Annie looks at him puzzled and says "Come on Ryan, stop being such a worry wart, I was just a couple of minutes late."

Ryan leads Annie inside, then grabs a Beretta 8000 series he's kept hidden under an end table by the French Doors. "Lock the door behind you, grab a gun and call Auggie back. I'm going to check the perimeter and come around the front."

Annie knows Ryan isn't paranoid, something's happened. She does what he asks and locks the door drawing the curtains. Out of habit she still carries her Beretta PX4 given to her by McQuaid, she runs to get it from her Prada Hobo, then grabs her phone off the kitchen counter where it looked like McQuaid was almost done making lunch. She heads to the front door and looks out the window seeing Ryan. She unlocks the door for him. "Did you get a hold of Auggie? He's been calling your cell, I missed a call from him. Some shitstorm is coming. I don't know what it is, but I don't have a good feeling."

Annie's phone buzzes in her hand. She answers.

"Auggie, what's going on? I was out for a . . ."

Auggie interrupts, "Something worrisome came to the DPD and we spent some time vetting it. I'll just rip off the band-aid, you're in danger and we need to get you to safety."

"Uh, you gotta tell me more." says Annie as she looks over at Ryan with a furrowed brow. It's enough for Ryan to get on the phone. He's calling Jim back.

"It looks like Ivan Kravec landed in DC late last night," says Auggie in a serious tone.

"Ok, what does Kravec being in DC have to do with me?" At the mention of Kravec's name, Ryan's wheels start to turn. He says, "Put him on speaker Annie."

At the same time Ryan reaches Jim. "Jim, what's the ETA on the guys heading over here? They just left the Bethesda airfield, so they're less than an hour out."

"That's not good enough Jim."

Jim doesn't miss a beat, he knows Ryan and if he says he needs help, then he needs it. Jim needs no further explanation. "I have a buddy at Pendleton who owes me a few, I'll see if he can round up a few guys and head over now."

"Make it worth their while Jim, money's not a problem"

"Joan said this was about Ivan Kravec being on our turf. What do you think he wants? You shot him in Paris right? Is this about revenge?"

"Don't have a pulse on that yet. I'll keep you posted."

While Ryan is talking to Jim, Annie says to "Auggie, I'm here at McQuaid's beach house and I'm putting you on speaker."

"I know where you are, we're sending a ride your way to collect you both."

McQuaid looks over at Annie concerned. "What? You need to back up and tell me what you have," says Annie.

Ryan interjects, "Kravec was on the top of my list when I put those cameras at your place Annie, I had this feeling about him. When I found out he was traded, I wanted to keep tabs on you. How did the asshole get in the country?" asks Ryan.

"We're not sure just yet how, but we learned that he is after you both and Natasha for burning him in Paris. We're found Tash and are about to approach her in Montreal. She will put up a big fight, I'm sure."

"How trustworthy is this intel?" asks Annie who still quite doesn't believe she is in danger. Meanwhile McQuaid fully believes there is a credible threat. "Anderson, why are we just hearing about this now?"

Auggie sighs, "Because, I wanted to be sure before I sent Annie into a panic. Remember Roger Bennett's source at the Russian embassy? She left me with the intel and it checks out. We have yet to get eyes on her. She has slipped our notice, she's good, former FSB afterall."

"What could Kravec possibly think he could accomplish on American soil, does he think he can drag Annie and me back to Moscow? He'll do it over my dead body!" says McQuaid.

"Why would the Russian at the embassy share this info?" asks Annie.

"Well, money, love, and ideology are always the top a motivators, but in this case, I think it was guilt. She said she wanted to help us, she felt bad about Roger and keeping quiet about Belenko after Roger died. She overheard that Kravec was expected and was waiting to receive all the FSB has collected on you Walker. The source also said, Kravec was looking for the two women and man who hacked into his bank and landed him into CIA custody. Seems this is about looking for payback," says Auggie.

"Payback? By the Russians or Kravec?" asks Annie as she looks over at Ryan seeing the worry on his face as he runs around the house securing the locks and windows. "Does it make a difference now? Looks like Kravec has the consent of the FSB if they handed him files on you two and Natasha."

"You met with this source?"

"No, she left me the docs which is why we had it vetted it thoroughly. She's a ghost my guess is she's up there on the food chain and a seasoned spy herself."

"How do you know she's not lying?"

"Call it my gut. Remember the bugs McQuaid planted at your place and how we found ones that weren't his. We thought they were planted by Saeed's men to track Eyal. The source confirmed those were placed there for Kravec. It makes sense now."

"You believe the source?"

"Yes, because she said she planted them there herself, she knew the equipment, described your apartment and the footage. I think she has some personal stake in this as well. It's about guilt over Roger, but I get the sense that she wants to stop Kravec for another reason."

"It's never going to be over is it? I am always going to live with the repercussions of what I've done as an operative," says Annie.

"We're on all cylinders here looking into his movements, aliases, accounts, properties and contacts here. He may be disguised, he'd have to be to get past facial rec. But if he has been watching you, he probably knows about your relationship with McQuaid and your whereabouts. Any chance your security protocols have been compromised Ryan?" asks Auggie.

"I suppose anything is possible, Annie's been with me the last couple of weeks, my homes are swept regularly and after Caitlyn, I vetted all my guys. This home is not registered to me. A security detail is on its way here from my Bethesda facility and Jim's calling in favors at Pendleton," says McQuaid.

"Everything's going to be okay, our team will be there in less than 20. Just get ready to leave and we'll bring you to a safe house."

"Wait, the best thing is for us to separate Ryan. He wants both of us, we don't want to make it easy on him," says Annie.

"Auggie, I have a lot of safehouses, I can take Annie to one of them with my guys. Kravec was involved with Chicago, who's to say he doesn't know about the CIA's safehouses?"

"We have to believe that if Kravec was keeping tabs you two, he's studied your holdings too, we haven't had time to vet your places."

"Well, you should have called us as soon as this intel appeared," says Ryan.

"Okay, it's not time to argue. I don't want to be a sitting duck here. We should just leave and meet up with the teams at Pendleton, it's just down the road. Thanks Auggie." says Annie.

"Annie, stay put, I'll call you when they're there," says Auggie.

Annie looks at Ryan who walks over and wraps his arms around her. Ryan speaks first, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Let's get you in the panic room and get a vest on you, it's best to stay here. You know I hate telling you what to do, but I want you to stay out of the action on this."

"Say no more, I know it's not just me anymore, I have fallen in love with our baby already and I promise to keep him safe."

"And, no chance I leave you Walker, we're staying together." says Ryan.

"I will be fine with the CIA's protection. Now's the time to show me that cache of weapons you have here. We'll need some in case we encounter trouble before the backup arrives," says Annie.

Ryan headed to the panic room and entered the PIN code.

She's let her self get comfortable again and that is always when trouble strikes. McQuaid is confident that everything will be okay, but on the inside he's worried and thinking about all the holes in his security, what had he not noticed? Annie quickly packs up, familiar with having to leave a place quickly.

McQuaid says, "Don't worry, we're are safe here for now. I make sure all my homes are fortresses. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Do you think he knows about the baby?"

"I hope not."

"Let's get out of here. I don't like staying put."

"It's the safest place for us right now. We have the CIA on the way and my guys."

"It's hard for me to just sit around waiting."

"I know, sharks don't stop swimming, but in this case, it's best to stay put."

Annie and McQuaid get more weapons ready and vests on, then McQuaid places a tracking device on Annie's earrings. She puts one on his watch. Here's another one, for safe measure. He places it on the inside of her bra. They put on earphones to communicate with each other.

Since the crack of dawn, a car had been watching McQuaid's Bethesda facility. It was watching the comings and goings. Mostly it was mechanics and maintenance folks arriving for work. A cluster of well-dressed folks arrived and boarded a private jet. It was dead for a lot of the day. Just about twenty minutes ago a car pulled up with four fit men all carrying gear. They logged in and were getting ready to board a helicopter. The man in the car called someone and said a helo was being prepped at McQuaid's Bethesda facility with four armed men. "It must be headed towards your target." Kravec had his man hack into the system to get the flight plans. He now knew exactly where Annie Walker and Ryan McQuaid were and it was a race to see who would get to them first.


	27. Chapter 27: Annie in Trouble

**Chapter 27**

Ryan and Annie are inside the panic room at his beach house. He shows her the exit. "In case things go sideways, here's the escape route, takes you up into the garage. Get in the car and drive out."

"Hope it won't come to that," says Annie. "I still think we should drive outta here now. It's not too late."

Ryan turns on the video feeds. Annie steps out to grab the stack of baby books and prenatal vitamins she brought to the beach house. "Can't have these lying around… is there anything else that gives away the baby?"

Suddenly she hears what sounds like a large vehicle pull up and goes to the door looking suspicious, she looks out the window. "CIA is early, Auggie said it would be twenty minutes. It's only been about seven minutes. I'll check it out." She walks to the door when Ryan says, "Don't! Didn't Auggie say he'd call?"

"Get in now. Don't come out until you hear from me or Auggie."

"You're coming in too Ryan!"

"Back up is on the way, I'll hold them off as long as I can. Go. Now!"

"Let's wait it out together. Please," says Annie with pleading eyes.

"Walker, remember what we discussed. Let me keep you and our baby safe."

He wants to protect her. "I love you."

"Love you too." And the door closes as she hears gunshots.

Ryan managed to get behind the kitchen island and is ready to return fire. He quickly assesses that there are four men. Two entered the back and two were at the front.

Annie calls Auggie and turns to the security screens. Ryan has taken down the two men who arrived from the back of the house and has turned around to focus on the men who just entered the front of the house. Suddenly the room is filled with smoke. Ryan fires blindly shattering glass light fixtures in the entry way and the skylights. He hopes someone will see the smoke coming from his house. Suddenly, Annie sees two more men arrive from the back. "Two more at your 6 o'clock," she says to Ryan.

Ryan opens fire on the men who entered the back.

"Auggie, they're here now at least four maybe more. Ryan's out there alone, we need help NOW!"

"ETA is less than ten minutes"

"Ryan doesn't have ten more minutes!"

"No matter what happens stay put, McQuaid is trained for this, he'll make it."

"You heard him Annie," says McQuaid as he holds the two who entered the back at bay.

Kravec enters the scene from the front of the house. Two of the men from the front advance into the kitchen as two more men who came from the back, creep forward. Ryan's surrounded on all sides. He fires at the two from the back and hits one.

"Lower your weapon," says one of the men.

"This is my home, you don't come into another man's home uninvited and tell him what to do," Ryan's weapon is still drawn at the ready.

Kravec steps forward and appears before Ryan as the smoke dissipates. "Ah, Mr. McQuaid, you are the one who shot me in Paris, yes? I'm here for Martine Miller or shall we say Annie Walker?"

"Kravec, as you can see, it's just me here."

Kravec looks around and sees that there were two place settings on the table and two sandwiches made on the counter. Ryan sees where Kravec's eyes take him and his heart drops, but he needs to maintain the upper hand and keep buying time.

"I can see plainly you are lying Mr. McQuaid."

"She was extracted by the CIA already. I've been waiting for you. More men are on the way, so if you want a chance at escaping, you better leave now."

In his sinister voice, he laughs, "Since you speak of manners, you should enlighten your girlfriend. She entered my home as my guest, then she drugged me and stole from me. Did you know she's an accomplished liar? She's much better at lying than you Mr. McQuaid."

"The minute we learned you were after her, she was extracted. You're not going to find her here."

"That's where you are wrong, I know she's still here and I'm here to show her what I do to people who lie to me."

"Kravec, you became fair game the minute you funded a terrorist attack on US soil. She was doing her job," shouts McQuaid.

Meanwhile Annie is watching and listening to everything inside. Every fiber of her being wanted to get out there. She had the element of surprise on her side.

"I will ask you one more time before I take action. Where is she? Where is your girlfriend? Tell me now and you will live Mr. McQuaid."

"Fat chance Ivan, as McQuaid ducks behind his kitchen island and shoots."

McQuaid for all his fire power is about to be overpowered by Kravec's men. Annie is having a hard time watching all this unfold. Auggie says that help is on now five minutes away. Annie says, " I can't let Ryan flounder out there on his own. "

"For God's sake, stay put Walker! Ryan is a trained Navy Seal and they are on his turf, he will be fine."

"Auggie I can't, they're going to kill him."

"Annie think about yourself and your baby, don't do anything, Ryan would want you to stay inside. We are 5 minutes out now."

Annie is standing with her arms spread apart on the table in the front of the cameras. She's trying to weigh the risks of going out and revealing herself. The CIA was only five minutes out. Could McQuaid last that long?

"I know she's here," shouts Kravec. "I'm losing patience." Annie watches it all unfold. She quickly formulates a plan as she looks at the equipment Ryan has in the room. She has the tracking devices on her, there's no way the CIA can't catch up with her if she's caught.

"Miss Walker, you will show yourself if you want you boyfriend to live."

"You'll never get away this Kravec. Where do you plan on going where we can't track you down? There's no where you can go."

Annie sneaks out of the panic room through the exit Ryan showed her. She comes around the back of the house and throws a flash grenade to distract the men. She shoots and kills two of Kravec's men. By then Kravec has disarmed McQuaid while he was distracted by the fact that Annie is now out in the open. Kravec has a gun to McQuaid's temple. "Mr. McQuaid, how does it feel now to have a gun pointed at you?"

Annie comes up from behind and says, "Let him go!"

Kravec turns around.

McQuaid sees Annie and gives her an intense and disappointed look. "Annie what are you doing?"

"He wants me, not you."

"Don't worry, I will enjoy taking care of your Annie," says Kravec.

"What can I do for you Ivan? You heard Ryan, the CIA is on the way."

"They won't get here in time," says Kravec.

"You speak of manners, now it's time to keep your word. You said you'd let McQuaid go in exchange for me."

Kravec says, "Yes, that is the deal."

Kravec's man left standing zip ties Ryan's hands to the oven door. Annie looks at Ryan and sees the worry and anger in his eyes. She lets him know it will all be okay. "What now?"

Kravec approaches Annie while his gun is trained on McQuaid. He takes Annie's gun, then takes out a syringe. He holds his gun to McQuaid. "No! You said you would let him go," shouts Annie.

Kravec shoots McQuaid.

"Oh he'll live, I want him to go on knowing that he couldn't protect you and that his woman needed to protect him."

Kravec shoots Ryan in the shoulder, as Annie struggles and yells profanities at Kravec and his man. She calls out his name. Auggie hears it all and it's killing him that he can't be there to save her like she saved him. "We're even Mr. McQuaid, that's for shooting me in Paris."

Then Kravec says to a struggling Annie, "This is for you Annie Walker," and inserts the syringe into Annie. It takes a bit for the drugs to kick in, Annie eventually pulls away and grabs a kitchen towel. She makes it to Ryan's side and says, "You'll be okay" as she applies pressure to his shoulder wound. She begins to lose consciousness as Kravec clocks Ryan with the handle of his gun. They both lose consciousness.

Kravec and his men drag Annie into a car that speeds away.


	28. Chapter 28: Tracking Annie

The CIA's team and Jim's buddies arrive simultaneously about five minutes later. McQuaid's house is in shambles and an unconscious McQuaid is bleeding with one hand zip-tied to his oven door handle. Jim's friend radios him. "Annie Walker is no longer on the premises and we have a man down."

"Shit, get McQuaid medical attention and track down Annie, look for the panic room. She might be in there," says Jim.

"We've got Langley over here telling us to stand down."

"Ryan wouldn't want you to. Stay with it. What do you have?"

"Panic room is empty from what we see. CIA is in there. Tire tracks heading south out front, need to find the tracker."

"Track it," commands Jim. "I'm on the way."

When Ryan regains consciousness he looks around and realizes Annie is gone. He thinks, damn it, she didn't have to come out to help him. The idea that Kravec has Annie turns his stomach and he's leaped into mission mode. He starts barking orders and trying to run through the possible scenarios to keep the bubbling fear he had from surfacing. It's the only way he knows how to cope with the thought that Kravec may seriously hurt or kill Annie before he makes it to her.

"There are tracking devices on her, let's look at where they took her," says Ryan to the CIA lead. He makes his way with effort to his panic room.

"You need medical attention," says someone from Langley.

"I'm fine. There's no time to lose."

Auggie calls McQuaid. He knew Annie was gone from, he heard much of it happen. "McQuaid, you okay?"

"No, not until I find her."

"You know Annie as well as I do. It's not in her make-up to do nothing when someone she cares about is in trouble. What happened isn't your fault."

"She came out when Kravec had me cornered. Then everything went sideways. I should have been able to hold off Kravec and his men. I should have been the one to protect her, how is it not my fault?"

"We'll find her. She's a survivor and always has her wits about her. Going down that path won't bring her back . Do you have, any leads on where he might have taken her? Did Kravec say anything?" asks Auggie.

"The guys Jim sent over think they headed south down the main road and so far the trackers confirm that."

"Ok, I have another angle I'm going to follow down," says Auggie. "Get your injury looked at."

Langley and Jim's friends track the tracker on Annie. They have a direction of travel, south for about five miles and then one of the trackers stopped and another has continued, but at a higher speed.

"You look like you're drowning man," says Jim's friend who was told by Jim to look after Ryan.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. You've been shot and you've lost blood. Here, Jim wants to talk to you." He hands a phone to Ryan.

"As your friend and someone who likes Annie a lot, I know you want to go after her, but you're no good to her unless you're 100%. I'm just as motivated as you are to find out who broached our security protocols. It looks like our flight plan was hacked at the Bethesda airfield."

"Shit!" says McQuaid. "Those firewall were supposed to be rock solid. Find out what happened."

"I'll keep you posted, you need to get taken care of boss." says Jim.

Ryan is taken to be treated, he needs surgery. As he drifts under, he thought, why didn't she stay inside the panic room? Why didn't they leave when she wanted to, she always had good instincts, she was right, they were sitting ducks. A dozen "could haves" and "should haves' ran through his head despite Auggie's words of wisdom. It wasn't in her nature to stay hidden and do nothing, he knew that, but hoped she would think of herself and their child. But she felt compelled to save him, to protect him. That's Annie. He couldn't expect any less of her, but he was angry at her. Why didn't she stay put?

Kravec never intended on taking both Ryan and Annie prisoner. Someone as high profile as Ryan McQuaid would be difficult to keep hidden for long. Annie was a covert operative, the CIA would not allow her capture to be publicized. He could and would get away with her. Besides, taking Annie from McQuaid was better than killing him. A morally righteous man like McQuaid who liked to play hero would be crushed that he couldn't keep his beloved Annie safe. Kravec was certain it would be torture enough for McQuaid to live with knowing that he couldn't keep Annie safe. Kravec relished in that thought. He wants to exact on Annie the torture that was done to him while he was imprisoned. He wanted to break her.

An unconscious Annie is dragged away by Kravec and his men, they speed away to a nearby field where they put Annie on a private plane bound heading south.

Meanwhile back at the last ping on the tracker, the CIA has taken over the investigation at the scene. Auggie is looking at all of Kravec's contacts in the DC area as well as his holdings. He weighs the pros and cons, but decides to try the source at the Russian Embassy, it's the only lead he has.

Auggie hears back from his source almost immediately. It is dangerous for the source, but she agrees to meet with only Auggie in exchange for a way to get out of the DC if necessary. Auggie goes into the field for the meet.

CIA team on the ground reports to Joan and Jim, "We tracked the car to a field nearby. It was abandoned, but Annie was in that car. We picked up her clothing left in the car, one of the trackers was there. No blood or other fluids, but we did find some blond hairs that are likely Walker's."

Jim arrives at the field to meet with Joan. He's with a couple of McQuaid's guys. He tells them to spread out. He looks around and sees what looks like tire tracks. "Look here and look at the length of the field."

"There was a plane here," deduces Joan. She gets on the phone to call Barber and Auggie.

Jim says, "The second tracker on Annie speeds up and then just disappears. It lost range at high altitudes is what I presume. The question is where did they go?"

Jim says to his men, "Go around and find the closest residents, ask what they've seen, and if they can tell us anything about a plane and the direction it took off in." as he tosses them bundles of cash from his bag.

Joan says to Barber, "Let's see where the closest surveillance cameras are in the path of the plane and review satellite footage. This is the best lead we have."

"On it," says Barber.

"Where's Auggie?" asks Joan.

"Uh, um, he's running down his own lead," says Barber.

"What lead?" demands Joan.

"Um, it's sensitive," says Barber.

"Tell him to call me as soon as he checks in with you. I don't like any of this," says Joan.

"Ok, I'll get to it," responds Barber.


	29. Chapter 29 : Annie's Nightmare

**Been away with family, have to clean up the next few chapters which are written, but a mess. It gets dark and horrible. This jumps around from DC and where Annie is being held.

**3 Hours After Annie's Capture**

Barber was monitoring Auggie's op with the Russian source remotely. Acting as Auggie's handler made him giddy. It seemed wrong to be eager when Annie's life was at stake, but that was part of his nervous energy. Barber placed a listening device on Auggie before he left for his meet so Langley would have ears.

The message Auggie picked up led him to a famous DuPont Circle bookstore. There were also two spotters there to keep an eye on Auggie and take pictures to identify the Russian source.

An attractive woman in her mid-thirties enters the bookstore. She browses the new fiction table for a few moments. Then asks for the travel section and goes there. Auggie is waiting while flipping through a book on Alaska. She enters and sees Auggie. He knows it's her because he heard her ask for the travel section, she followed the agreed upon script. She picks up a book on Cuba. Auggie can't see her or the book. He opens the conversation, "I'm trying to plan a trip with my girlfriend. Just not sure where. Thought I'd come and pick a book at random and see what she says."

"It's not good to be random. Here let me help you. She hands him a book. Buy this one. Be safe, Americans stand out there."

"And you safe travels to you. Thank you," says Auggie as he hands her his book on Alaska. Tucked inside were skeletons of a Canadian and German passport and a number to call for help if needed, their agreement for the intel. She was good, she avoided security cameras and the spotters only got side profiles of the woman. Auggie would try to lift prints off of the book. Little did he know she was wearing gloves. Later they would deduce that she was trained in spycraft as well.

Auggie goes to the cashier to pay for the book. He's next in line and can no longer hide his impatience as he taps his folded cane on the book he desparetely wishes he could see. The woman in front of him in line asks for her books to be gift wrapped. Auggie's heart is pounding, he wants to pay and get out. When it is finally his turn, the casher says, "Wow, Cuba, pretty exotic locale. These have been flying off the shelves recently." Auggie tries not to react. The CIA's eyes take photos of the woman leaving the bookstore.

Barber hears everything and starts to look at possible places connected to Kravec in Cuba. Auggie gets out of the store and calls Joan. As soon as she picks up he says, "Cuba, according to my source, Kravec took her to Cuba."

"Well, it won't be easy to extract her from there even with the recent turn in events. But we still need to verify this intel," says Joan.

"Annie always trusted her gut and my gut says to trust this source. She has nothing to gain and everything to lose by providing us this intel," says Auggie forcefully.

"We'll talk when you're back here." Joan hangs up.

**5 Hours After Annie's capture**

McQuaid leaves the hospital against medical advice and is at the meeting to strategize now that they have a lead on where Annie is being held. The team finds that there is a villa on the coast linked to Kravec. Funds drawn from an account belonging to Kravec have been used to pay for recent renovation to the property. Joan goes through the deck that gives the summary of what they have learned.

It appears the villa was strongly fortified. There aren't many CIA assets in Cuba, but they make contact with one who passes along some info. The small coastal home had been empty except for the renovations, but looks like activity began there yesterday. The house was being readied and a small staff of a driver and cook appeared along with about four guards. It turns out the house was once home to Hector Serrano, a former colleague of Kravec's at the FSB, they trained together and were good friends. Kravec vacationed there numerous times. Serrano was killed by Simon Fischer to protect Annie. It seems like Kravec has a bigger beef with Annie than originally thought.

After her presentation Joan says, "We don't have visual confirmation that she's there."

"Kravec isn't going to flash her around town." retorts McQuaid as he touches his shoulder.

"You should be in a hospital," says Joan.

"I have my family at stake, I'm staying," he lowers his head and everyone looks around feeling his pain.

Joan breaks the silence, "You didn't let me finish. I said we didn't have visual confirmation, but our asset got close to the cook and her daughter. The six year old girl said there was a sick princess at the house sleeping in a locked room."

Oh my God, did her nausea hit, does Kravec know she's pregnant? Thought McQuaid to himself. He's awash in anger, worry and helplessness as he grits his teeth in pain.

"Since when does the word of a six year old child equal intelligence?" asks a representative from the State Department.

Joan continues, "According to the asset who met the mother at the market, the girl said no one was allowed to see the blond princess. The mother is married to someone who appears to work security for Kravec. Satellite footage also corroborates the humint. Kravec arrived there with what looks like Annie about two hours ago."

"I think that's confirmation enough in this case," says a representative from NCTC. "We need to find out how Kravec got into the country and what else he has planned, now that doors have opened between our country and Cuba counterespionage is all the more important."

"When is the team leaving?" asks McQuaid.

"I have a buddy or two at Guantanamo right now, we'll see what they've picked up and I'm sure we can set up a base of operations there." says McQuaid.

"I'll get on the phone with Gitmo now," says Jim stepping out of the meeting.

"Cuba is not an easy country to enter, especially with weapons. We're lucky you have a relationship with the Navy, McQuaid, otherwise this may be impossible. We don't want to risk starting an international incident," says Joan. "I have to contract this out, I take it you would bid on this job McQuaid."

He looks up, "Of course,"

"It's a go then, you and your men decide what to do and keep me in the loop. I want to get Annie back as much as you do. It's my belief that Kravec may not kill her, he's interested in money, he's a capitalist at heart. My fear is he'll sell her to the FSB for money or contracts. Getting her out of Cuba would be easier than Russia."

"So you care more about Annie giving up Langley's secrets then? You know she wouldn't do that."

"You don't know what Ivan knows, with the right leverage, everyone breaks."

Ryan sighs.

"You can take along Auggie and Barber if you'd like," says Joan.

"It wasn't going to be up to you Joan, I'm in this and I won't let Annie down," says Auggie.

"What are our options for approach," asks Jim who had returned.

"Auggie brings up a map. We've identified two possible entry locations. You can get there via this point on the southern shore or this point, it's rocky and less traveled, but affords a bit more cover than the open beach over here."

"We can't approach by air. And Gitmo can't risk us being known there either, we need to go in and out without a trace. We can leave from Gitmo, but we can't go back, that's the deal," says Jim. "Wheels up in 30 minutes people."

Jim turns to Ryan, "You gotta stay here bossman. I'll keep you posted."

Ryan gives him a death stare. "No way."

**2 Hours After Capture**

Annie was drugged for most of the transport. She remembers waking up and seeing Kravec. "Ms. Miller, Browning Firearms saleswoman, do you know what weapon I am holding to your head now?"

Although she was groggy and confused, Annie was always cheeky and never one to refuse a challenge, "Looks like a classic Smith and Wesson Model One Revolver."

"Correct Ms. Miller, you once again prove you know your guns. The question is in which chamber does the bullet reside?"

Annie closes her eyes as Kravec squeezes the trigger. Nothing happens. "Ah, just as well, this is beautiful jet with Italian leather seats, I don't want to soil it. Besides I have other plans for you. So you don't think about fighting me. We land shortly."

"Where are you taking me?" says Annie as she looks around trying to assess how much time had passed. She manages to look out the window and all she sees is the clear blue ocean. She could be over the Atlantic somewhere. She still had her watch on, it was 2pm. She had been gone a bit less than 2 hours. He readies his syringe and plunges it into Annie. Before she loses consciousness she realizes she's in different clothes. She wondered what happened to Ryan and if the CIA got there before he bled out. She prayed he was okay.

**5 hours after Capture**

Annie wakes up groggy, someone is next to her, she smiles, "Oh my god, you are not going to believe the nightmare I was having." She opens her eyes fully and realizes she's in a large unfamiliar bedroom and the man next to her isn't Ryan. Suddenly everything starts to come back to her. She was at the beach house with Ryan, then Auggie called and she only had minutes to prepare for Kravec's arrival. She thinks of Ryan. What happened to him?

Annie struggles with all her strength, but there's no use, he overpowers her weak and stiff body. She realizes as she becomes fully aware that she was living the nightmare. Annie keeps trying to break free, but she can't fight him off no matter how hard she tries. Her body was weak, maybe from drugs? She bites, scratches and tenses as he secures her hands. She can only look out the window towards the blue sky filling it with hatred and determined not to shed a tear. She was going to kill him the first chance she got. But she had to stay alive and keep her baby safe. Her prayer was that Kravec didn't know about the baby. It would be another thing to leverage against her. He had already leveraged Ryan and it worked.

"I seem to remember you saying that you were someone who liked it rough back in Paris. Seems that is still true Ms. Miller."

When Kravec is finished with Annie, he lights a cigar and smokes it in the bed. She lies there quietly trying to fight back tears. After a few minutes he gets up and puts his clothes back on with a satisfied smirk on his face.

Kravec is cocky, he knows he has the upper hand. "Don't think too much Ms. Walker, no one is coming."

He unties Annie's hands and she lunges for his throat as soon as her second hand is free. But he catches her hand and twists it back while straddling himself across her chest. The weight of his body on top of her makes it hard for her to breathe, but she manages to say,

"You can't keep me here forever."

"Forever? I bore easily. I will grow tired of you. Someone will come and help you dress for dinner," whispers Kravec as he gets off the bed and tosses a robe at Annie. He holds her face with his hands. She shakes his hands off and spits in his face. Get your hands off of me!" says Annie with venom.

Kravec angrily grabs his stun gun and immobilizes Annie. He turns her on her back and snuffs out his cigar on her back causing her to scream loudly. He takes another long puff of his cigar as he relights it and puts out the cigar on her back again. This time Annie doesn't scream, she just grits her teeth in grabs the pillow turning her knuckles white. "You won't do that again Ms. Walker."

Kravec leans down so his mouth is to her ear. "Isn't this what you wanted me to believe happened between us when you drugged me in Paris and left me nearly naked on the floor of my study? Well, I made your ruse come true."

He leaves her in the locked room.

Annie's hands remain free, but Kravec kept her tethered to the bed. She looks around and sees that she has room enough to access the bathroom. Her watch is gone. She still can't quite move from the shock of the stun gun, she curls up into a ball and sobs for a long while. Once she feels more of her senses return, she makes her hand over to her ears, her earrings are gone, the second tracker was gone. She tries not to fall into despair. She knows she has to escape somehow, it's her only chance to save herself and her baby and to keep from enduring Kravec again. She is sore and moving hurts the burns on her back, but she gets up and makes it as close to the window as she can. It looks like she's on the second story. She sees the ocean. Miles and miles of ocean and rocky shore lay before her.

Annie looks around the room for exits and a way to pick locks. She looks up and sees a few cameras. She's being watched, so she needs to be careful. If she could get free from the restraint on her ankle, she could break open the window, but she would need a way down. Annie tries not to fall into despair. The only thing she knows to do is craft ways to escape.

Across the way she sees a mantle clock, it reads 5:15. Was it 5:15 on the same day she was taken or a day later? Annie had no idea. In her heart she hoped and prayed that Ryan and Langley had leads. She looks around to see if she can figure it out from her surroundings. Her brain can't keep the thoughts of what she woke up to out by focusing on an escape route. The throbbing on her back intensifies. Finally Annie made her way to the bathroom where she looked around, there was again a window she could not reach. She turned to the mirror to see her tear stained face. She stared at herself in shock. She was really there. This was real. What happened to her was real. She wanted to break things, she wanted to rip the chain from the bed, she wanted to strangle Kravec, but she had to keep her head. She has to survive, she has to get out. There appeared nothing to do to escape. She had to wait for the dinner Kravec ordered her to attend. She would get a sense of the layout of the house and maybe find out where she was being held.

Annie walked into the enormous shower. She turned on the faucet and stood under the hot water for a long time before slinking down and sitting there with her knees to her chest until she felt she got the scent of cigars and Kravec out of her skin and hair. Her back stung, but it was better to feel the pain, it kept the other thoughts at bay.

Annie gets out of the shower and looks around for something to bandage her back. Suddenly a young plump woman appears inside the bathroom and addresses her as, "Senorita." Annie says to please call her, "Annie." The woman helps Annie dry her hair and applies an ointment to her burn marks and covers them with gauze. She leads Annie back into the room where a deep blue cocktail dress and heels are waiting for her. "We must not keep Mr. Ivan waiting. Come, I help you."

"What's your name?"

"Me llamo Salvadora, my friends call me Dora."

Annie makes sure she and the woman are not facing the cameras. She wants to ask as many questions as she can and is formulating a strategy for getting the woman to trust her. Annie is also trying to figure out if she should trust this woman. "Beautiful name, it means savior no?"

"My parents were Catholic before, they fled Cuba because of their beliefs, my grandmother, she raised me."

"Where are your parents now?"

"They're in Florida."

"How long have you worked for Mr. Ivan?"

"A few years. I used to work for Mr. Hector. He live here many years before he died. Mr. Ivan comes once a year. I surprise when he come. I wanted to prepare longer. Mr. Ivan is very mad when everything not perfect." It looked like the woman was going to be easy to ply for information. She was already talking so freely. Annie's gut told her that she was someone she could possibly trust. "Yes, I am not perfect."

"Is that why he burn you and lock you?"

Annie is quiet.

"Sorry, I should not ask."

Annie looks down trying not to cry. It really was easy to play the part since she felt she was on the verge of crying ever since she woke up. She says nothing and lets the woman talk instead.

"Maybe he's sorry, he sent me with beautiful dress, shoes and jewelry. He wanted me to give you medicine for burns."

Annie nods.

"My husband, he hurt me sometimes. I learn for my daughter. I learn how to act so he not get angry."

"Do you ever feel afraid? What about your daughter?"

"Oh he loves our girl. He would not hurt her. If I leave, I will never see her again. He work for Mr. Ivan, I can't leave. So I endure."

"What does your husband do?"

"He is security here and when Mr. Ivan come, he drive him sometimes. Come, you look better. Now I help you dress for dinner before Mr. Ivan come for you."


	30. Chapter 30: Darkness

Note: Thanks for hanging in. Annie will get out soon, but will have a long road ahead still. **REVISED based on feedback. Again, not my ****characters, all the characters belong to Covert Affairs/USA, bummed it's over though. **

McQuaid Securities managed to have a couple of men enter Cuba on a tourist visa via the Dominican Republic. They're young guys who blend in perfectly and speak Spanish impeccably. They are experienced former SEALS who are recent hires with something to prove for McQuaid's Flint division. McQuaid sends them with enough cash to do what needs to be done. It's easy for them to play a couple of frat boys partying and engaging in extreme sports all over Central America and the Caribbean. They water ski as close to the location of the villa as possible to gather intel until shots are fired in the air. They see roughly five guards all over the perimeter and two firing into the air. The boys wave off as if to say "sorry" and shrug their shoulders while doing circles in the ocean. The guards point their guns and waves them back in the direction they came.

Meanwhile, Annie hears the shots and looks out the window, she sees the two wave boarders and grabs a compact and tries to flash an SOS message. The pair she can barely make out are at least a hundred yards away. She wonders if they were just in the wrong place or if they were there because of her, but her training tells her it's a recon ploy. They left the view of her window, she wasn't sure if they saw her SOS message or not, but all she could do was wait. The sound of the key turning brings her to her present reality. It was Ivan collecting her for dinner. All Annie wanted to do was put him in a headlock and choke him to death, but with the security he probably had and his stun gun, she knew it would be foolish.

"Ah, Miss Walker, you look … ravishing. Come, there is a delicious meal waiting for us, I hope you enjoy Cuban flavors."

Annie is wholly confused, he was acting as if nothing had happened and she was his dinner date. She wasn't sure what was going on, but decided to play along so she could get a good look around the house and look for holes in security.

"I heard a commotion outside, what happened?" asked Annie in her signature confused airhead blond manner.

"Just some tourists who traveled too far down the beach, it's choppy out there and dangerous, the force of the waves can crack your skull." Ivan meant that as a threat, she saw his Jekyll and Hyde ways clearly, at any second he could flip a switch and go back to hurting her. If she didn't have it before, she felt she was getting a clear picture of Ivan Kravec.

Ivan extends his arm expecting Annie to take it. She hesitates, the thought of touching him made her skin crawl. A wave of nausea is hitting her, but she does her best to conceal it by taking a deep breath. "We can have a much more pleasant evening if you cooperate. You can stay here in this beautifully appointed room and enjoy a gourmet dinner or be hungry on a dirt floor."

"Dinner sounds divine," says Annie sweetly as she takes his arm. When she makes contact with him the hairs on her stand on end and a wave of nausea hits her again. She can't let Ivan find out about her baby, it would be another piece of information he leverages against her like he leveraged Ryan. When she thinks of Ryan her heart hurts, she tried not to conjure the image of him when she left him. He was bleeding and one hand ziptied to the over door. She prayed the CIA got to him in time. The thought of losing him was her greatest fear.

Annie tries her best to take a deep breath and play along, she has to do what she has to do to get out of this. As she crosses the threshold, she sees a man on a chair outside her room. He has a hand on his hip holster, she sees a jangle of keys on the other side of him. She looks around, there are three more doors in the hallway and a set of stairs ahead and a window on the main landing. Outside the window she sees a little girl playing by a casita outside. She thinks, that must be Dora's daughter, why is a little girl here? It must be a hard life for Dora. There's a car parked out by the casita and a motorcycle. Maybe they live right here on the property.

Meanwhile, McQuaid's team consists of Jim, Dex and Fitz, his most trusted core of brothers. They nearing Cuba where they will stop at off at Guantanamo courtesy of McQuaid and Jim's connections there. Auggie and Barber are managing communication and satellite footage. The pair of Flint operatives reports back that they saw flashes from a window at the southwest corner of the house. It may have been an SOS, but we were taking fire so we got out of there. They can't return to Gitmo so they have to get out via boat. The two Flint boys have one waiting in case the Zodiac the boys take from Gitmo fail them. McQuaid always makes sure to have options. He also has his trusty skeleton key and according to Auggie there is more than one vehicle parked outside the villa. The Flint guys, Tony and Nick have a safe house inland and access to a plane just in case things go wrong.

Ivan leads Annie to a beautifully set table. Dora comes out and presents a fresh tropical fruit salad on a bed of lettuce. "I hope you enjoy it Mr. Ivan and Miss Annie. There were many fresh vegetables at the market today. Tell me if you like something in particular, I'll be going at sunrise tomorrow morning."

Ivan opens a bottle of champagne. "Shall we toast?"

Annie waves her hand over her glass, "No thanks. Just water for me?"

Ivan says with a twisted smile, "I insist, we're celebrating."

"What are we celebrating?" Annie isn't quite what Ivan has planned for her and she doesn't want to find out. She hopes her friends back home have a lead on her, but she can't count on that, she has to figure out a way to get out herself.

"My dealings regarding you were more efficient than anticipated. It's your last night here Miss Walker and I'm going to enjoy it."

"What are you talking about?" A hundred thoughts are running through Annie's head. Her last encounter with Kravec, she had been made as foreign intelligence and his trip to a CIA holding facility confirmed such. He intended to ship her off to Russia into the hands of the FSB. Annie had been in a Russian prison already and wasn't keen on returning, time was running out for her.

"By 0600 tomorrow we will be on a plane to my motherland. The FSB has had a price on your head for a long time, but they gave me carte blanche to begin some interrogation as long as you are still alive when you arrive, I will still get paid handsomely as well as gain other benefits."

"You'll never get away with this, you think the CIA forgot about you after you were traded? They still keep tabs on you and they knew you were after me so how long do you think you have?"

Tonight was it thought Annie. She had to make a move tonight or she would face an impossible escape from Russia. It was hard enough for Eyal and Auggie to pull off the first time. For a moment Annie toys with telling Kravec about her baby as a way to gain sympathy, perhaps convince him to let her go to term and give birth in Cuba, but what leverage did she have? She had nothing to give him and she wasn't going to give up crucial intel to save herself or her baby. And he was an unpredictable nutcase, what if learning about the baby made no difference? What if he took her baby and she never saw him again? Annie thought it was better to hide her pregnancy.

With a sinister smile Ivan says, "Let's enjoy our dinner, it may be your last good meal Miss Walker and I want you to associate it with me."

"What do you think you'll get out of me?"

An evil smile emerged from his lips, "I don't need to get any information out of you, just payback."

Annie knows she needs to buy time. Her only play is to get Dora to help her. Dora is out of the kitchen to collect dishes. "You've hardly eaten, you did not like the salad?"

"It's delicious, I'm still working on it. Gracias Dora. I heard a little girl singing, is she your daughter?"

Dora looks to Ivan who is looking impatient. "Yes, that's Isabella." Annie can tell that Dora fears Ivan.

"I'd love to meet her. Tell her that her singing is lovely."

Ivan waves Dora away. "I'll be back with the next course."

"Dora, ¿dónde está el baño"

Ivan looks annoyed, "Show Miss Walker to the washroom and stay with her." Ivan stands up as Annie does and motions to a guard to go along.

Annie looks around to get a better layout of the house as Dora guides her to the bathroom. She sees a small stairway in the kitchen, a back way upstairs. She's well aware of the guard following behind, he's not a large man, but is muscular. Annie thinks she could neutralize him if needed. Once inside she says to Dora, "We don't have much time, I'm a prisoner here and I am begging you to help me. Do you have a phone or a way to call out?"

Dora does not seem surprised, more conflicted. "Mr. Ivan, I know he's not a good man, but he is my employer and my husband…"

"He's sold me to Russia, to my death. Dora, I'm pregnant and it's not his, you're a mother and I know what you've done to be with your daughter. Please help me. He's going to hurt me. You saw what he's already done."

Dora looks down. "He's hurt me too. Men are terrible."

Annie realizes Ivan has had other victims. "Not all men are terrible Dora, there are good people in this world. I believe you're one of them. My child's father is one of them. We will help you."

Dora says, "I don't have a phone, but tomorrow I go to the market early and can make a call."

Annie turns on the water. It might be too late by the time Dora goes to the market, but at least she'll get her last known location out there. "Remember this number, 555-0808, tell them Helvetica is in Cuba and will be transported to Moscow by 6am tomorrow. Give them my exact location. Please try to do it before 6am." Annie knows she is asking a monumental task that is endangering Dora and her daughter, but it's her only hope to make it out. "I will do whatever I can to help you, what are your parents names?"

Dora looks at Annie "Victor and Manuela Ortiz in Miami,"

"Thank you. I know I am asking a lot."

Annie goes to flush the toilet. Then turns off the water.

She returns to the table and eats her salad in silence.

"You're too quiet Miss Walker."

"What do you want to talk about? How you've used vast sums of your money to fund terrorism, drugs, and human trafficking? How you provided faulty intel that led to the death of an American?"

"Your agency sent the drone, not me," says an irritated Ivan.

Dora arrives with the next course, a lime ceviche. The sight of it makes Annie's stomach churn.

"You must eat."

"I'm not terribly hungry."

Ivan keeps eating unaware. "Suit yourself."

Annie pushes around her food taking small nibbles all the while thinking of a way to hide a knife or even a fork.

After a while Ivan throws down his napkin on the table and says, "I'm growing tired of this, I thought we could have a lovely dinner date before I begin. Dinner's over, let's go!" He grabs Annie's arm roughly taking her to standing position and leads her down the back stairwell into a dark damp basement where he throws her down on a mattress on the ground. She breaks her fall with a grimace and grunt, the force of the push even onto a mattress was powerful. She looks up and sees various bindings and tools of torture. He straddles her and secures her hands to the wall. "Miss Miller, Miss Walker, you know you're beautiful don't you. We could have had a fruitful partnership you and I. When I met you, I thought we could have a future until you drugged me and stole information from me."

Annie is looking away as he approaches closer, his face inches from hers. She could smell the mix of champagne and lime on his breath. He kisses her ferociously. She kicks and bites him as she spews curses, but without her hands, she can't fight him off. He slaps her multiple times and knees her as he reaches behind and unzips the dress. Annie presses her back to the mattress using as much force as she can to crush the Ivan's hands that are on her zipper pull, he head butts her causing her to relax. Ivan's hands are no longer pinned under Annie as she continues to grunt and thrash on the mattress. "I admire your spirit, your mysteriousness, it was too good to be true." Ivan slaps her when she spits at him and Annie lets out a scream in pain. Annie is worried about her baby, so she stops fighting him. He takes off her dress and admires her body.

Dora is conflicted upstairs as she cleans up after dinner. She is pretty sure of what Ivan is doing to Annie downstairs as she hears the muffled sounds of struggle, then a scream. She thinks about trying to get to her husband's cell phone. If she could, she would make the call now. She looks at the leftovers and decides to take her husband a plate of food. If she helps Annie, maybe she can help her get out of Cuba with her daughter, this may be her only chance.

The CIA gets a call routed from Cuba, it's Dora with Annie's message. With the new intel, McQuaid and his Flint boys need to move fast. McQuaid's team hits the ground at Gitmo and the six of them plan on storming the home under the cover of darkness.


	31. Chapter 31: Annie's Vow

Ivan has many vices besides his temper and impulsivity, he loves accumulating wealth and power, dominating women, guns, fine wine and Cuban cigars. He lights a Cuban and smokes next to Annie. He offers her a drag, "Before we get on the plane to Russia, I want to hear you begging me, you didn't beg me to stop, so you must have enjoyed no?"

"Fuck you Ivan."

"I knew you'd resist," says Ivan as he drags Annie up and hooks her tied hands to a chain. Annie knows not to struggle, she needs to save her strength. He takes a long drag of his cigar and snuffs it out on Annie's back, adding to the two scars on her back causing Annie to grit her teeth and grunt in anger, her eyes filled with hatred towards Kravec. The hope of rescue was diminishing, she knew if they were coming, they'd come in the darkness, it was going to be hard to find her in the basement, even harder to find her if Ivan ferried her to Russia, Annie was trying not to drown in despair.

"Nothing to say Miss Walker?"

Annie shakes her head. Ivan fills the laundry sink in the room with water. "After Paris, your CIA did things to me, they were fools. So easy to play," scoffs Ivan. "You'll get a taste of what I was subjected to," says Ivan as he strokes Annie's face. "FSB says, I can have visitation rights to you, so I won't mar your beautiful face."

Auggie calls McQuaid and Jim. "Okay, we can't get the powers that be to budge, so we still can't bring Annie back to Guantanamo. It makes your jobs harder, but not impossible. Exfil plan is to head to Key West where we'll have a helicopter waiting."

Jim, "Copy, what about Ivan? Do we have a shoot to kill order?" says Jim looking at Ryan. "I'm afraid that's a negative, Joan wants him alive, he has access to the accounts and whereabouts of a number of persons of interest."

"He'll be alive, I can't promise much beyond that," says Ryan giving Jim a knowing look.

"And one more thing. The woman who called in Annie's location, she says Annie promised to get her and her daughter out of Cuba. So if there's a way to make that happen too."

"Shit, we're not a travel agency here Auggie," says Jim.

"If she helped Annie, we'll help her," says Ryan.

McQuaid and his team have landed at Gitmo where they study the intel and tides before getting their gear on and entering the warm waters. They travel via a Zodiac to the shore near the Villa and wade through the shallow waters to the building. They see the light on in what Dora said was Annie's room. All the other lights are off. The two Flint operatives have anchored another boat a mile from the villa and are waiting.

Jim looks at Ryan as they suit up. Ryan is having a hard time, he's struggling to put his gear on. "If I were you, I'd want to get my hands on Ivan and rip out his throat too, I'll make sure you get that chance, but you aren't in tip top condition. We can do this. Let me do this for you and Annie."

"I just want to get Annie before she's shipped to Russia and if she's sent to Russia that's where I'm headed next. Jim, I'm going in."

He knew more than to keep arguing with his boss.

"You can't say I didn't try. Stick close to me. We'll find her."

After cleaning the kitchen, Dora sees Ivan return upstairs smoking his cigar. He tells her to clean up the basement and take Annie back to her room. He's not worried, she's too badly tortured to try anything. Ivan grabs a bottle of wine and says, "Wake me up 5am and have Miss Walker ready then too. We have plane to catch." Dora finds a barely conscious and bloody Annie on the floor of the basement.

Dora is shaking and wishes she had done more to help Annie. Ivan assaulted Dora before, but he never hurt her like he hurt Annie. She manages to wake Annie, covers her with a sheet then helps her up the two flights of stairs to the room. "I'm so sorry Annie. Come, we have to get you ready. Mr. Ivan says you're to leave at 5am." Annie barely makes it to the room. She's dazed and trying to figure out what happened. Dora puts Annie in the shower and readies clean clothes for her. The water from the shower is tinged with blood. Annie spits blood from her mouth, cursing Kravec. He took out one of her molars.

Annie regains some of her clarity while in the shower. Her left shoulder hurt, Ivan drilled a hole into in the same spot he was shot by Ryan after he dunked her head in the sink multiple times. Her left collar bone hurt as well as her jaw. She was also missing a molar. But the worst wasn't the physical pain, but the realization that she was having cramps unlike any she had experienced before. Ivan had hit her ribs, back, then punched her gut a couple of times before she started to beg him to stop. She remembers his words, "Oh, you disappoint me, I thought you'd resist much longer my dear." Annie dreamed about getting her hands on Ivan.

At that point he had received a call and left. It sounded like someone confirming their transport schedule. Annie was glad to have relief from the physical torture. All she could do during Ivan's assault was pray for her baby to survive. She felt so connected to him. She thought of the baby as a boy and talked to him, promising him she'd keep him safe and everything was just a bad dream.

Annie gets out of the shower keeping it on. She needs to do all she can to get away before she's shipped to Russia. She can't take a moment to dwell on what Ivan has done to her, she has to keep her head clear and in the game. Dora helps her dress and whispers, "I called and told them to get here before you go to Russia. They say to be ready and keep the light on in your room."

"Dora, thank you. I want you to be ready too. Be ready to leave."

Dora is nervous. The reality of leaving her only life hits her. "No, just worry about yourself. I helped you with no expectation. I wish I could have prevented. . ."

"It's not your fault." Annie winces in pain. "Let me bandage you, try to stop the bleeding and get you something for the pain."

Annie's entire body hurt, but she needed to shake it. She says to Dora, "Can you bring me something to use as a weapon?" Annie vows to kill Ivan the first chance she gets. If she has anything to do with it, he'll never live to hurt another woman again. She's glad to hear that a team is coming for her, but she knows the CIA, they are going to want Kravec alive for intel. They turned him loose once before. God love the CIA, but they turn a blind eye when it comes to assets. For once, she didn't care about the intelligence angle, everything in her wanted to inflict pain on Kravec before killing him. The rage she felt was what kept her going in that moment. She couldn't let thoughts of Ryan or her baby in, it would only deter her from her mission.


	32. Chapter 32 : Rescue

Chapter 32 : Rescue

The team gets ready to storm Ivan Kravec's villa in the very early hours of the day. Annie's body is hurting but she is pumped with adrenalin and nervous anxiety. She feels cramping similar to when she has her period, but pushes it aside hoping it has nothing to do with her baby. She checks in the bathroom for bleeding and is relieved she finds none, but she can't help but notice the terrible bruises on her thighs from Ivan pinning her down and spreading her legs. She fights back the images that flash in her head and the tears that come on. She has no time to go there, no emotional energy to spare. She fights sleep by splashing cold water on her face, every inch of her upper body aches, but she tries to remain alert.

Annie's no longer tethered to the bed, but she knows the guard is right outside. She sees the security sensors on the windows and tries to look around for something to disable the sensors. She can't find anything to deactivate the windows. It's hard to sit around and do nothing. She's sitting on the floor on the side of the bed facing the door with her body as close to the window listening for anything to show that help was on the way. Slowly she falls asleep and wakes to the sound of her door opening. She's unsure who it might be, but she hopes against hope it's help and stands to her feet with some effort, but soon the hope fades, it's Ivan and he's angry. He rushes into the room with gun pointed at her to gruffly grab her arm, she backs away from where she is and throws the lamp at her bedside and crashes it through the window, Ivan reacts quickly by firing at her.

Ryan's men had taken out the two guards at the perimeter before not before one set off an alarm at the house. The men had reached the house and heard the breaking glass and gunshots. When he registers the shots fired, he's filled with worry, they had come this far and lost their most valuable weapon, surprise. The worst Ivan could do was kill Annie before they got to her. Ryan was single minded, he had to rescue Annie. They reached a door to the villa. Ryan signals for Fitz and Dex to go around the building. Jim looks at him and says, "You good?"

Taking a quip from his dear Annie, he replies, "Never better." And they enter the house.

The shots Ivan fired went right by Annie, she felt the heat as he sped by her head. She puts her hands up and Ivan takes her with him toward the back stairwell. Dora's husband runs to the commotion shirtless with just a handgun. He has to get to his boss. Dora had packed and hidden her things. As soon as her husband left, she wakes up her daughter who she sent to sleep in street clothes and leaves the small casita to wait outside.

Ivan is pissed off as he leads Annie out of her room to the stairs. He can't believe his perfectly laid out plan has gone to shit. He wants his money from the FSB and he wants to be back in good standing with them so he can go on running Kredit Krepost with their tacit consent to continue his money laundering, racketeering and trafficking. He's been successful building a network of clients for a number of years and this blond wasn't going to be his demise.

Ryan and Jim have made it up the main stairs to the room where Annie was being held just as Annie and Ivan entered the back stairwell. . Ryan's shoulder is throbbing and it's hard to keep his firearm up, but he works through the pain. He has fought through pain before to save himself and his fellow SEALS, this time is different though, this time he's a mess, his focus is blurred because it's Annie, the first woman he's loved since his late wife and the first woman who has given him a child, the child that would give them their next set of adventures. Adventures they both looked forward to and imagined in the days leading up to Annie's capture. He failed to protect her from Kravec at the beachhouse and that fact eats at him and will continue to until he has Annie safe in his arms.

Ryan is stirred from his thoughts when he sees the empty bedroom with broken glass and a mess of bloody towels in the bathroom. There was no sign of Annie in the room where she was held. They are ambushed by two of Kravec's men, Jim whose back was never to the door unlike Ryan fires at the men taking them out. They are at a huge advantage in terms of gear, but Ivan's men knew the layout of the house. One got away. McQuaid got hit, a bullet grazed his ear, blood dripped down the side of his face. Jim knew it was a bad idea to have him there, he wasn't at the top of his game and Ryan McQuaid was one the SEAL's golden boys. He led many missions and lost few men, his precision in running ops was something lauded and studied by SEALS after him. But he made a rookie mistake and it nearly cost him. "Another inch man, I'd be dragging your ass out of here. Shit boss," Everything was muffled, his hearing was slow to return. "Come on, let's move. She's not here anymore."

"I can't leave without her," shouts Ryan.

Jim grabs Ryan's arm and pulls him out of the bedroom gun drawn, "keep your weapon up boss, let's find her." They go back down the main stairwell when they hear shots fired at the other end of the house.

The other members of the team come close to Annie and Kravec. Kravec stops a landing on the stairwell looking out to figure the next move. He tells Annie to keep moving as they hear the gunshots from down the hall. It has to be her rescue, Annie tries to free herself from Ivan's grip. He's ziptied her hands.

There's a truck in the carport Ivan wants to get to so he can drive to the airfield himself. Annie turns around suddenly and stabs Ivan with the small paring knife Dora gave her. She managed to make a strap on her thigh to hide it with the bandages Dora brought. It's not enough to overpower him. McQuaid's other men hear the commotion and manage to get to Annie. "It's over," says Fitz. "Let her go." Kravec lunges for Annie pushing her down the stairs, she tumbles down into the men. "I'm not giving you up, if I don't get you to Russia, then you die bitch!" He fires shots and misses as Fitz covers Annie with his armored body while Dex fires a shot into Ivan's thigh and shoulder. The men subdue Ivan and drag him away with them, making their way outside to the Zodiac.

Fitz and Dex radio that they have Annie and Kravec, Ryan and Jim get the message as they sweep the first level of the home. Ryan is relieved and thanks God Annie is okay. They exit the villa and come across Dora. They send her and her daughter to the Zodiac to wait for them. Dora's husband catches sight of them and tries to stop them. His daughter is there so he doesn't fire his weapon. A close contact fight ensues while Jim shepherds the mother and daughter to the boat. McQuaid, already at a disadvantage takes multiple blows before Jim goes back to help and shoots Dora's husband. Jim drags McQuaid onto the Zodiac. Ryan refuses to get onboard, not until she's on first. The other men are running towards them with Annie.

Ryan runs towards them as Annie collapses onto the rocky sand. Jim helps Ryan get Annie onboard as the two others get Ivan on board. It's still dark and they don't see that her arms are covered in blood from breaking the window and blood drips down the side of her head where it hit the side of the stairwell as Ivan pushed her down. 

Finally both Annie and Ryan are lying side by side on the Zodiac floor as the ocean water whips up. More men are firing at them. Fitz and Dex return fire, but they are increasing the distance between the villa and them soon they will be far away from Cuba. Ryan is breathless and turns his head to Annie meeting her eyes, he fumbles for her hand and finds it giving it a tight squeeze, Annie squeezes back, a fog is developing and her back is in spasms. "Annie Walker, we're getting married as soon as they fix us up, you'll look good in white bandages." Annie's eyes well up as tears sting the cuts on her face, "Tell me he's dead, tell me you killed him" manages Annie before her eyes flutter and she loses consciousness. Her grip on Ryan's hand loosens.

Ryan fights the pain in his shoulder and lifts his upper body up, "Annie, Annie! Stay with me," shouts Ryan as he strokes her face and moves her hair out of the way. He's still shouting because he can't quite hear out of one ear. The light of day breaks, he starts to see his beautiful woman, marred, the blood, bruises and cuts all over her face and arms come into view. Suddenly rage fills his body and he looks on the small Zodiac to see Ivan hands ziptied in nothing but pajama pants and barefoot. Fitz is bandaging his thigh where he was shot. Ryan lunges at him and pummels him multiple times. Kravec spits blood and a tooth out. Jim and the boys take their time pulling Ryan off. "Hardly a fair fight, my hands are tied," says Kravec. "I had a wonderful time torturing Ms. Walker, you didn't come in time to save her from me. Live with that." Jim grabs Kravec and digs his thumb into his gunshot wound. "You're done Kravec. You won't see the open water again in your lifetime so enjoy the ride."

"You should kill me while you have the chance."

Ryan pulls out his gun, but Jim says, "What are you doing Ryan, remember our orders." Ryan wanted to fuck orders that's why he left the NAVY and ventured out on his own. There was a time to follow orders and a time to act responsibly, there were too many times where Ryan followed orders he didn't feel good about. As owner of his own ship, he never had to do anything he didn't feel right about doing. He would just stop working on a contract or with people whose loyalty and morality he questioned. In this moment, he was working for the DPD, he wanted to put a bullet through Kravec's skull, but that wasn't the job. This was a wake up call. Maybe it was time for him to step out of the game. He had a nice long run, maybe it was time to turn the helm over to someone else and enjoy a quiet family life with Annie and their baby. Always decisive and sure of himself, Ryan McQuaid made up his mind, he would step down as President and CEO of McQuaid Securities and just serve on the board as Chairman. It was time for a new chapter with Annie.

He secures his weapon, goes to Annie, weeping, a throbbing shoulder fills with heat as he gently lifts her head onto his lap and he thanks God again that she's alive and will recover. _Little does he know just how long the road to recovery would be for Annie, for him and for their relationship._

As the men race out towards Key West with Annie and Ivan, the Flint boys sweep the house clean and leave without a trace of American presence. By the morning, they are on their way to Columbia for another mission.


	33. Chapter 33 : Dazed

Dazed

The next couple of chapters will jump around a bit from Key West to D.C. Some of the events occur simultaneously.

Once on American soil, Annie is given basic treatment at the small Key West hospital before being transported to D.C. Joan wants Annie back in D.C. for debrief and so she can contain any possible fall-out from the off the books op in Cuba, so she arranges transport to Walter Reed Army Hospital. Annie was unconscious the entire time in Key West and barely remembers anything after getting on the Zodiac. Her head is in a fog. She had a concussion and feels the throbbing across her temples.

Ryan remains at the hospital in Key West because he had to have surgery to remove a bullet fragment that shifted from the time Ivan shot him at the beach house. Ryan also lost consciousness holding Annie's head on his lap. Annie recalls seeing Ryan briefly and telling him she's sorry for everything. Was that on the boat or in the hospital? She can't get clear on the details.

At the military hospital in D.C., Annie is brought through the trauma unit. She focuses on nothing but her baby's well-being though deep in her heart she felt he was gone already. She felt his life go with the last blow Kravec landed on her torso. Annie had grown very attached to the life inside her, so attached she felt his end, but she didn't want to believe it. She prayed her gut was wrong.

The doctors and nurses check on her most pressing injuries. She hears and sees them rattling off her vitals and injuries. "Please, can you first see if my baby ok?" She keeps yelling despite the pain in her jaw each time she opened her mouth. Everyone stops and the trauma doctor asks, "Are you pregnant Ms. Walker?" Annie says, "Yes, with tears. Call me Annie."

"OK, people let's get the OB on call in here and an ultrasound machine," says the trauma nurse.

"Ma'am, you have some very serious injuries that need to be attended to as well. It looks from the records you came with that you have fractured ribs, a broken collarbone and those burn marks on your back need to have their dressings changed."

"No, no, not until after you check on my baby" Annie is finding it painful to talk. She realizes there's something wrong with her jaw too. She doesn't want another thing to hamper progress on finding out about her baby. There's a part of brain that knows the baby's gone, but she forgot that she knew that, her thinking was blurred again, things seem to make sense to her and then they don't. "Where am I again?"

"You're in Washington D.C. ma'am, you just arrived at Walter Reed. Do you know your name?"

"Yes, Anne Catherine Walker."

"Your date of birth?"

"Um, um, August 8th, 1980."

"Okay, do you remember what happened?"

Various images from the last few months flutter into her head: Paris, damn Paris, holding a gun to Ryan in Maracaibo, her walks on the beach with McQuaid, cutting vegetables for supper, getting in the panic room, chasing Eyal in the streets of D.C, being in the hospital after heart surgery, Ryan asking her to move in with him, Kravec on top of her, and Dora and her daughter. So many images flood her mind as Annie realizes how she got to be where she was presently. Annie nods in answer to the nurse's question as more tears stream down her face.

The obstetrician arrives and looks at the patient who has a bloody face, lips, etc. "Hello, I'm Dr. O'Connor."

"Please, see if my baby is okay."

The OB helps Annie put her legs in the stir-ups, the movement is painful for Annie and she grits her teeth and lets the breath out of her lungs. Her thighs are full of bruises as the Dr. O'Connor quickly sees. She's experienced in this area as she has too many times examined women with the same signs of sexual assault and sadly usually inflicted by their fellow servicemen. By then Joan had arrived and went straight to Annie's bedside.

"Ms. Walker, based on your injuries, were you sexually assaulted?"

Annie is silent, she says, "I don't know, I don't remember, please just check my baby, tell me he's okay."

Joan develops a deep pit in her stomach. She should have tried harder to keep Ivan in their custody the first time. He's currently being treated for his injuries too. Joan tries to soothe Annie, "He? Did you and Ryan find out the sex already?" Joan knew there were blood tests available for women as early as 10 weeks along to find out the sex and information about down syndrome. She had had one done herself.

"No, I just had dreams and a feeling, but I am sure it's a boy," manages Annie through quivering lips.

"Okay, before I check on your baby, would you mind if I took a few swabs?"

The OB looks at Joan. "I'm one of Annie's emergency contacts." Joan continues, "Can you do it as quickly and as discreetly as possible?"

The OB nods. She treats each rape victim she's processed as if she were her own friend or relative. She says, let me get all the equipment I need to check on your baby and I'll be back in a few moments. She has a very gentle way about her, being a woman who delivered babies to servicewomen, she's developed a quiet demeanor to help warriors get through the most painful yet beautiful process they would ever experience, but then there are parts of her job like this one where she had to process a rape kit. Not exactly what she thought she'd do as a military doctor.

When the doctor leaves the room, Annie begins to sob. She moves from being clear headed one moment to being dazed and confused the next. These are the symptoms of concussion for sure. Everything that happened when she arrived in Key West and the transport was a blur at first, but then clear images developed. Joan comforts her and says, "Annie, it's just us now. You can tell me what happened."

"I can't, I don't want to remember. Where's Ryan? Oh God, is he okay?"

Oh, please, Ryan is still alive, he has to be thought Annie. Wait, she remembers him holding her hand and relief spreads, the tension in her body dissipates as quickly as it came. She did see him in Key West, didn't she?

"Annie, We need to gather the evidence. Do you understand? It can keep Kravec behind bars for many years," says Joan bringing Annie back to the reality at hand.

A wave of disappointment hits Annie, if only she didn't lose consciousness, she would have taken Ivan out herself. Jumbled thoughts return to her head, wait did she dream what happened with Ryan on the boat? Was she remembering correctly? Did Joan just say keep Kravec behind bars? Is that bastard alive? Why does need her to keep Kravec behind bars? ISn't the evidence of what he's done enough?

Annie says, "I don't want anyone to know, please Joan. Promise me you won't tell anyone, Ryan especially. What happened to him?"

"Shhh, he's okay, he's still in Key West and is in stable condition. His gunshot wound re-opened and they took time to get out the bullet fragment from before, but he looks a lot better than Kravec. Guess his guys gave him a good beating. He's fighting to get here to you."

"Annie, you can trust me, did Kravec rape you?" Joan was always direct with Annie.

Annie closes her eyes tightly, "Every time, I just kept thinking about staying alive for the baby and getting out of there. I just wanted to keep us both alive. That's all I kept thinking about. Joan, Kravec should be dead that's what he deserves for Mueller, for helping Belenko, for what he's done . . ."

"I'm so sorry, he never should have been traded, we didn't realize how dangerous he was, but I'll make sure he stays in US custody for the rest of his life."

"Joan, we kept him alive, you got Kravec, now I want out for good."

"Of course, after all this, you need time to heal and recover with Ryan. I'll extend your medical leave."

"No Joan, you don't understand, I want to disappear. You owe me Joan. I've given everything and I have nothing left," a whimper escapes Annie's mouth. "Annie, you don't know that. Things will look better in the light of day and once you've reunited with Ryan."

"I can't be with Ryan, I'm broken beyond repair, Ivan he . . . I don't want Ryan to know, it's not fair to him, it will kill him. I'm done leaving a trail of pain in my wake."

"You're not giving the people who love you enough credit Annie. Many women before you have gone through the same and survived. You're a survivor Annie. I'm here for you too. Auggie, Calder, everyone will support you."

Annie starts to panic, Joan has never see her like this. "No, no one can know what Ivan did. Help me leave for good. Please Joan, you're the only one I can turn to now. I need a new identity, none of my known alias will work, Ryan will track down all of them."

"And knowing that should tell you something. I've known Ryan since Arthur was his instructor, he won't give up because he loves you deeply."

"That's why I can't do this alone. I need new passports and IDs, and stash of cash, a clean slate. And I need a way out of here the sooner the better." Annie was determined, finally clear headed.

"Annie, think about what you are saying, this is rash and a reaction to what's happened. Sleep on it. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Joan, we've been through a lot, we've had our differences. I've felt let down by you in the past, but I don't think I've ever truly let you down. I always came through for you, for the agency and at great cost, please I need your help."

Joan's phone rings. She sees that McQuaid is calling. "I'm going to have to take this call. I'll be right back, will you be okay alone for a moment Annie?" says Joan.

Annie nods. "Oh, did Dora make it to her parents?"

Joan smiles, "Yes, she did, you made a difference Annie for her."

Joan finishes talking to Ryan outside. She has about three hours with Annie before Ryan arrives.

Dr. O'Connor speaks with Joan at length about being discreet and keeping Annie's records out and the rape kit of the computer system. Joan is trying he best to cover traces of Annie at Walter Reed. "Mrs. Campbell, the rape kit may be null and void, it appears Annie was treated already at one hospital, she's obviously not in the same clothes she was in when she was raped, and we'll need to ask if she's showered, if she has, it nullifies the collection."

"We likely won't use it in a court of law, but it's leverage. Please understand, this isn't a typical case."

The OB returns to Annie's room with the rape kit. It normally takes three to four hours to complete. Joan says, Ryan won't be there for another three or four hours. Annie can relax and trust that her secret will be safe. Dr. O'Connor begins to work quickly and efficiently to complete the collection of samples and takes photographs of Annie's injuries. Annie sobs continuously and prays for a miracle, but deep down Annie knew the truth, she was so in tune with that life in her and she knew it had ended. Her bargains and requests from God had run out long ago. "I can give you some pain medication and valium to calm you down afterwards."

"No, thanks. Just some water please." Joan brings a glass and holds it for Annie as she drinks.

The OB puts the ultrasound probe in Annie, "Let's see, there's the outline of the baby. Let me just check around a little more." The OB continues to look, and remains silent.

O'Connor sees that there's no heartbeat. She keeps looking to confirm. "I'm sorry there's no heartbeat." Annie becomes uncontrollable in her crying. Joan returns to the room to hear the news. She goes by Annie's side and tries to offer comfort. Joan spent a few years trying to have a baby with Arthur before they gave up after a couple of miscarriages. Joan for all her stalwart strength could not bear to go through another miscarriage so she set aside thoughts of having a family until she was unexpectedly blessed.

Joan cried with Annie, she understood her pain, but she knew she would never understand what Kravec did to her. "Okay Annie, I'll help you leave, but you'll have to do your part. This is a military hospital, it won't be easy and it won't be easy to keep Ryan out of here, he has a lot of clout here being a former serviceman and he knows the Chief of Medicine from Annapolis. He'll probably be here in an hour or so." Joan tells Annie what she has in mind so far. "Will you be ready?" Annie nods and says, "Thank you."

"One last time, are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes."

"Annie, I am going to have to call in a favor to get you out of here."

"Just make sure we cover up what Kravec really did. I'm trusting you with everything, you too Dr. O'Connor," says Annie as she looks to the two women.

"One last thing, Auggie's outside too. He wants to check on you."

Annie doesn't want to see him, but she must. "Tell him after I get this all done with, maybe he can come back later."

Dr. O'Connor talks about the options and says Annie doesn't need to decide now, let the other docs tend to your wounds first and then we can figure out what to do. Annie says she's made up her mind, she needs to take care of the baby as soon as possible. The doctor explains the procedure.

"I'll be back after I fill out my reports. In the meantime, the trauma team will tend to your other injuries."

Annie is numb. She remembers this feeling of activity going on around her, yet she's not fully aware of everything. She just hears the words of the doctor saying "there's no heartbeat" repeatedly.

How was she going to face Ryan, she still had to see him, she had a last op to pull off. It was pouring more salt on her very open wounds. She was at the center of the last operation. Annie is in shock, but she's learned to compartmentalize after nearly six years as a spy, she detached herself from the present situation and put her game face on. In order to disappear again, she had a role to play, hopefully her last as a covert operative. It would be the hardest thing Annie Walker that to do. She had to walk away from the life she was going to have as Annie McQuaid.


	34. Chapter 34: Painful Conclusions

New Chapter 34

A small hospital in Key West

Ryan opens his eyes to a familiar feeling, he can't count the number of times he's woken up in a hospital now, maybe he was up to fifteen by now and three of those incidents in the short time he's known Annie Walker. Thinking of Annie puts a smile on his face for a second before what's happened comes back to him. Ryan feels the pain in his shoulder and his busted lip, he touches his eye where a pretty impressive shiner has developed. The last thing he remembered was being wheeled into the Emergency Room and the face of a doctor flashing lights in his eyes.

The next face he sees is Dex. Ryan sits up with some difficulty, it's not so bad, he's been through worse and not while inside a cozy and clean hospital room with a tropical wall paper border and a view of the water. Always looking on the bright side, he's happy knowing he's back on American soil. He eases himself off the bed and says a prayer of thanks as his feet touch the ground. It was a thing he did ever since his first mission outside the U.S. He would never let go of his "superstitions".

"You got my bag Dex?"

"Good morning to you too Captain." It was 0700, they had arrived at 0400 when Ryan was rushed to surgery. Dex never shook the habit of calling Ryan, his superior in the Navy, "Captain."

Dex goes to the bag that he knew he better not forget when they all scampered off the Zodiac and tosses a henley t-shirt to Ryan. He takes out a pair of black jeans and walks them over to Ryan.

"What room is Annie in?"

"Take it easy, the doc said he wanted to keep you here for the day. Something about infection and not ripping open the stitches again."

And before Dex says, "You're getting antibiotics via the IV," Ryan starts taking the tape off his wrist, the tape that is holding the IV needle in place. He sucks in his breath as he pulls out the needle.

Ryan gives Dex a look that says, no way in hell. "I have a stash of antibiotics at the office, are you going to tell me about Annie?"

Dex is preparing for a verbal beating. He takes a deep breath and says, "Annie's on her way to Walter Reed. She's probably almost there by now. The CIA had her transported back as soon as she was checked out here. They were quick about it. We couldn't stop it."

Ryan is confused and frenzied as he dresses, what was going on? Why transport someone so wounded? He remembers what he could see of her injuries, they looked mostly cosmetic, but really he didn't know what lay under the surface. "If there was an urgent need to get to a major medical center why not any of the military facilities in Florida?

"How was she?"

"She was stable was all they would say. I didn't see her. Jim spent a few minutes with her and said her most serious injuries were a broken collar bone, fractured ribs, and a concussion. They were monitoring her for internal injuries."

Ryan looks worried and pissed off, "What about the baby, is the baby okay?" asks Ryan as he squeezes his temples.

"Jim didn't say Captain, he did say Annie asked for you and said to say she was sorry."

"Where the hell are Jim and Fitz? I need to talk to Jim."

"Well after they worked with the Langley's crew to take care of the Zodiac and things here, they were tasked with escorting Kravec to a holding facility, I'm not sure where. I'm not sure Jim and Fitz know either, the CIA arranged it. They're out of pocket sir, I have their cell phones. They weren't allowed to take them."

Dex was the one left with Ryan, they drew straws and he lost. Ryan finishes dressing and heads to the door leaving Dex looking confused, "Are you going to fly us home or what?"

On the way out, a nurse stops Ryan. "Sir, you can't leave without discharge papers and the doctor's signature."

Ryan says, "Bill me."

"The bill's been taken care of sir."

Dex shrugs his shoulder. "Looks like no one wants to know we were here." Dex drives them to an airfield, "Why in the holy hell didn't they just take me with them to D.C? It's going to take us at least three and a half hours to get there."

Dex keeps his eyes on the road as Ryan looks at his watch, 0705, he phones Joan to find out what was going on and to find out any news about Annie. "Annie's nearly here and I'm heading over to Walter Reed right now."

"What the hell Joan, did she really need to go all the way to D.C. to be treated?"

"This is a stressful time, I know, but you needed surgery and Annie, I felt needed to be in a familiar setting. Plus I can have more control here, you understand what I mean, we need to contain this and I can do that better from here."

Ryan understands though he hates that he's not by Annie's side. "I'm on my way, please be there and tell her I'm coming. She shouldn't wake up alone."

"Of course. You and your team did good work Ryan, Annie's safe."

Joan had instructed Auggie and Barber to delete all footage and records of Annie, Ryan, and Ivan being in Key West, the CIA was covering their tracks where Ivan was concerned. They didn't want the FSB to send a team in for Ivan, they didn't need the FBI getting a whiff of this and Joan definitely didn't want the State Department involved. They were the ones who pushed for Ivan's release under the table. Langley's guys were able to get the police to believe that Ryan's gun shot was an accident and billed Annie's condition as domestic abuse." Ivan never made it inside the hospital. Fitz patched him up as best as he could and guarded the S.O.B. until he got orders to be part of the escort team.

Ryan On His Way to D.C.

Ryan tries to make calls to Walter Reed, but can't get any patient information on an Annie Walker. He tries his friend, Captain Bennett Wong, M.D., but his calls go straight to VM, it's time for grand rounds, so he's not answering. Ryan tries Auggie. He gets a bite.

"Hello, you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way back to D.C. Any news on Annie?"

"Nope, waiting here at Reed, no one's telling me a thing. Joan's here, she said they are still fixing Annie up, but she'll be okay. It's good news all around."

"I'll be another two hours, call me if hear anything and tell Annie, I'll be there soon."

The rest of the plane ride Ryan is happy, he thanks his lucky stars that he and Annie got out of this alive. He would not have been able to live with himself if something terrible happened to her. When she first entered his life, he was taken by everything about her. It was the way she carried herself on that tarmac in Chicago. Her confidence, her smile, the way she narrowed her eyes when he spoke showing she knew he was full of shit, the whole of it was where it began, he was hooked and ever since then she reeled him in.

He felt like the luckiest man in the world and because of this he knew his baby would be fine. In Ryan's world at that moment, he was given another chance and everything was rosy. He had found love again and he was going to be a father. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do now to protect Annie and their family. He wasn't going to fail again or let anything happen to what he held most dear.

Ryan Arrives in D.C.

Ryan finally makes it to Annie's room where he finds Annie sobbing and Joan shaking her head when her eyes meet his. He was expecting to find Annie resting peacefully. No one he talked to, not Auggie, not Joan, not the nurse at the desk, _no one_ let on that there was anything to be concerned about. Ryan felt pummeled again as he stood in the doorway momentarily unable to take another step further. He didn't want to know what he was about to find out, but he knew immediately what Annie's cries signified. He goes to her side and takes her hand, "I'm sorry I wasn't here with you. Everything will be okay. Sh, sh, sh. I'm glad you're safe."

Joan and the doctor leave to give Annie and Ryan a moment. Joan asks for the rape kit. "Mrs. Campbell, you are making it hard for me to do my job and my job is to help get justice for the victim, don't you want that?"

"That's my operative in there, don't tell me about justice. I can get justice for my friend by allowing her some peace, she wants to put this behind her. We have enough on the perpetrator to keep him in prison for life, he'll not be tried in a regular court. We need to keep this quiet, this can't get out. Her boyfriend in there, he can't know."

_Joan takes the evidence and places it in a safe in her office at home. She takes out a burner cell phone and makes a call to the only person not connected to any of this who happened to be available. Joan also knew he would do anything for Annie. _

Dr. O'Connor goes back into Annie's room. She prints out copies of the baby on the ultrasound and says to Ryan and Annie that she's seen many miscarriages that are flukes.

"There is significant trauma that may have caused the miscarriage, but it could have been a fluke too. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. We can do an analysis on the fetus to find out the true cause of the termination after the D & C." She continues to say its good to mourn, have a memorial in your own way so she passes them the printouts of the baby. Annie is still sobbing uncontrollably, seeing Ryan brought all the pain and harshness of what had happened and what she was about to do to the surface. Annie had very rarely allowed herself to lose control of her emotions, not as a child, not when she lost Ben and then Simon, but this latest trauma might just be what breaks Annie Walker.

"Wait, what is a D & C?" asks Ryan. He's just beginning to catch up and come to terms with losing the baby. He wants to make-up for the lost time with Annie. And he's also in physical pain. He holds Annie's hand as she continues to weep. The cover was easy for Annie, this wasn't an act, she truly was heartbroken and distraught.

"A D&C is where we use a vacuum to extract the remains of the fetus. It insures that all the remnants of the fetus are out of the body allowing the patient's uterus to return to normal. The D and C effectively begins a new cycle though you will have cramping and heavy bleeding for a week or two."

Listening to the obstetrician calmed Annie to a slow hyperventilating cry, the doctor was so clinical and Annie decided that is how she had to approach what happened. She had to detach herself from everything and everyone. "I can take the remains and have it analyzed to see if the miscarriage was a result of a genetic anomaly or the trauma Miss Walker endured. The results will take about 24 hours."

"Please call me Annie," hearing her referred to as Miss Walker reminded Annie of Kravec.

"Are you experiencing any cramps?"

Annie shakes her head.

"Really no pain in the abdomen or back?"

"Nothing. I feel nothing," and Annie meant it on some many levels.

"Your body hasn't recognized that the fetus is no longer viable and it does take time for the hormones to go back to pre-pregnancy levels, longer since you were near the second trimester mark."

That explained why Annie still felt nausea. "I want to do it now."

"You can wait it out a day or two until you've recovered a bit from your other injuries."

"No, I can't do that. I can't wait around for that. I'll never be better."

"If it's what you really want, we can do it now. I'll get a nurse in to administer valium, vicodin and topical lidocaine. Then we'll take you to the procedure room."

"I don't need any medication."

"It's standard care for the procedure Annie."

Annie is insistent and refuses all medications. She is in immense amounts of pain from her other injuries, the throbbing in her shoulder from the drill site and in her mouth from where Ivan pulled a molar are incessant, but she needs it, she needs to feel the pain to avoid remembering the other stuff that happened.

McQuaid asks, "Can we have a moment, please?"

O'Connor nods and says, we'll prep the room and someone will be back to take you there."

Ryan feels he's watching a movie in fast forward, this is all happening too fast and he hasn't caught up. He just found out his baby was gone and he was really seeing Annie for the first time since he left her in the panic room. The villa, the Zodiac, none of it counted. They were having their first private moment since the beach house. He's studying her, her face, the sling on her arm, the stitches on her head and hand, the bruises and his handsome freckled face contorts expressing pity, sadness and love.

It guts Annie to see him going through this. She knows him. He's blaming himself and she doesn't want that. _Everything that's happened was a result of her choices, of who she was. Her job brought Kravec to their doorstep. Her choices led to losing their baby. If she wasn't already messed up from taking out Wilcox and giving up her family, she was now. _She needed Ryan to know that none of this was on him.

Despite how awful she looked, she was a beautiful sight to him. He had been afraid that he lost her for good and there she was in front of him. He had feared that he had to bury her at the start of the day, but there she was. He lost his baby, but he still had Annie and they could have more babies. She's surprised when he looks into her eyes and a big smile forms on his face.

"I'm happy Walker, I couldn't be a happier man. What counts is you are here, you're alive, we got the bad guy and he's not getting out again. We're going to celebrate when I get you back home, but first, Annie, the procedure, the D & C or whatever, can wait, why don't you rest and let your body. . . " he touches her face to turn it towards him since she's turned away. She can't face him if she's going to continue her act. He looks at her with forgiveness and hope when she feels nothing but hatred for Ivan and despair. She winces at his touch. "Sorry, sorry."

"Let my body heal?" she lets out a snicker. "I'm never going to get over this Ryan." OH God thought Annie, he's always got this sunny outlook, even in his darkest moments Ryan McQuaid always looked at the glass as half full.

"I didn't mean it that way, I mean, give you body a break for just a day or two. You've been through hell," he says softly as he strokes her hair trying not to touch any spots that hurt Annie.

He doesn't know the half of the hell Annie went through and Annie's going to keep it that way. She's focused on her mission and carries on.

"You don't have to stay for the D & C. You look like you could use some rest."

Ryan sighs. This is classic Annie Walker and he should have expected it. "I'm not going anywhere." That was what Annie was afraid of, he wasn't a man who would give up, he never gave up on her, he never stopped pursuing her. When she finally let him in, she only opened the door enough for him step in the entry, she's never let him into her whole being her entire past, but she was going to, she planned to until Kravec. Now that opportunity would never come and she had come to terms with it just as quickly as Ryan came to terms with leaving his life as a PMC behind to be with Annie.

"I won't let you do this, push me away. I'm here. I'm here for you. I wish I could have prevented all of this, God I want to kill Kravec right now."

Annie whispers, "I wish you had," which makes Ryan feel like crap, but he knew he wasn't going to pull the trigger, he wanted to and at the end of the day, it wasn't the order that kept Ryan from killing Kravec. It was the fact that Ryan, a man who had logged many kills in the name of greater good, would not kill a man unless he _had_ to. Kravec was in their custody and no longer a threat. Killing him would have been for revenge and that would solve nothing.

As Ryan surveys Annie, he sees bruises seemed to worsen in the time he was there. He's afraid to touch her. He reaches into his pocket for his Carmex lip balm. Annie smiles a bit, Ryan and his lip balm lucky charm. He applies some on her lips. She would miss the ways he surprised her and all the things she would never learn about him.

Annie looks at him determined and says, "No, I want to do it now. The baby's gone, I don't want to keep feeling . . . pregnant. I feels waves of nausea." Annie's voice cracks as she talks. She continues, "But I know he's gone, I don't want to prolong the inevitable." She suddenly feels nauseous and leans over to vomit. Ryan grabs the wash basin on the table as she vomits into it. Involuntarily opening her mouth wide is painful, the quick movements he had to make to get the wash basin cause him pain too. Annie leans back in the bed.

"Annie, I'm so sorry." Annie winces at his touch. He puts his head down next to her stomach and places his hands on her stomach, Ryan McQuaid sobs. "I should have protected you and the baby."

"Shh, shh, it's not your fault. It's done. Waiting won't bring our son back. So let's do this. . . "

Annie strokes his head and sees the bandage on his ear, she cries silently. There's nothing that can be done. She's caused yet another person pain and sorrow. If she had any doubts earlier about disappearing when Ryan was talking about how happy he was to have her back, they were gone now, the best thing for her to do is to leave D.C. once and for all.

A nurse and the doctor comes and says it's time to transport Annie for the procedure, before that she walks Annie and Ryan through the procedure. "The procedure itself is very quick, it will take less than 10 minutes after all that said and done." Annie thinks to herself, less than 10 minutes to remove the life that was inside her for three months. "I have some valium and vicodin here before the procedure."

"No, no meds. I told the doctor already."

"I have to advise against that, it is a painful procedure. I've never had a patient do with out meds."

"Is it as painful as childbirth?" Asks Annie shocking the doctor.

"Well no, nothing compares to childbirth, but. . . ."

"No meds. I'd rather feel the physical pain than what I feel now."

Ryan is perturbed and frustrated, he says, "Annie, you're being unreasonable, don't do this, you've been through enough, you don't need to punish yourself. Let them administer the meds."

Annie looks at him squarely and the more she talks the more she feels the pain in her jaw. She spits out, "NO, I said no meds. It's my choice. So much was taken away from me, don't take this away from me."

Ryan is tired and he's emotional too. He raises his voice. "Annie Walker, we lost our baby, we don't, I mean, you don't need to suffer any more than you already have."

"Ms. Walker, I have to agree, you've been through enough."

"Ryan, you don't need to stay for it."

"I'm not leaving you again, I'm the one who is sorry."

"Annie, is there something wrong with your jaw?" She was an OB, but she remembered her general medicine. She goes to the head of the bed and feels around. Annie says, "Ow" when she tries to move her jaw. The doctor has her open and close her jaw. It hurts terribly. Okay, we're going to have to have an ENT and possible a dental consult. I think your jaw is fractured. "Can it wait, let's get the procedure done first." O'Connor looks at Annie and knows it futile to argue.


	35. Chapter 35: White Knuckles

**Chapter 35**

**Author's Note:** Had to have a similar procedure as written below when I lost my first pregnancy and my body would not end the pregnancy. I spent two weeks knowing the babies (twins) were gone and still experiencing nausea before opting for this procedure which was horrible, one of the worst things that happened to me. It's been eleven years and some of that day is still vivid. I always wonder what life would be like with the twins. Anyway, I took the painkillers but not the valium and I felt every tug on the inside and outside. It was painful even with the meds, but I see Annie's character as someone who has en extremely high tolerance for working through physical pain in addition to her overall stubbornness.

The doctor gently places Annie's feet in the stirrups, it is such a vulnerable position to be in for Annie after her ordeal. She's trying her best to relax, but tension fills her body. Ryan is by Annie's side stroking her hair, in his own way he compartmentalizes, he didn't quite say good-bye to his child, he couldn't even go there, his only focus was on Annie. For a man like McQuaid who always looked on the sunny side of life and liked to fix problems head on, he figured they could always have another child once Annie recovered.

Annie sucks in her breath as the speculum is widened and screwed in place. "We're dilating your cervix now." Ryan moves to hold Annie's hand wrapping both his strong hands around hers. Annie tries to breathe deeply, it feels like having menstrual cramps tenfold. If this is the extent of it, she can handle it. She continues to breathe deeply remembering what she learned at her yoga retreat while trekking through India. "I'm going to begin." With the first pull of the vacuum, Annie tightens her grip on Ryan's hand, her nails digging into his palm, her other hand on the bedrail. Even the doctor can't hold back tears as she works on Annie. She stops after the second pull. "Annie, we can take a break and give you some medication or put you under general anesthesia. Since the fetus was nearly 12 weeks along, there's quite a bit more I need to extract." Ryan feels helpless, it's a feeling that he doesn't experience often. He'd bear the pain for her if he could.

Annie is breathless, this wasn't worse than enduring Kravec inside her. "No keep going," she manages to sputter out. Annie moans looking up at the ceiling. Dr. O'Connor manages another pull while Annie's face contorts with pain, her eyes squeezed tight and tears ran down her face as she grunted and cursed. Ryan shouts, "Stop, stop it." He's been part of watching known terrorists get "interrogated" with "enhanced" methods, he's seen a lot of torture scenarios and faced them himself in SERE training and in the field, but when it came to his Annie, he couldn't handle seeing her endure the procedure. "Annie, I'm begging you, don't do this. Stop torturing yourself."

Annie has beads of sweat on her head and is out of breath. She looks at the doctor, not Ryan, and manages to say, "I need to do this, you don't have to watch. I'll be okay on my own." Ryan shakes his head and mutters curses, why the hell is she so stubborn?

The doctor lets out a deep breath and keeps going. Annie feels like she's being gutted, is this how it feels to get disemboweled? Crazy and gory thoughts bombard her mind, she sees herself violently cutting up Ivan's face and repeatedly stabbing him with the paring know, why didn't she do it?

With the next pull of the vacuum, Annie holds onto the sheets and Ryan's hands. White knuckling it the entire procedure took a toll on everyone. Ryan is watching Annie's face contort, finally she reaches a place where she turns her thoughts to her baby. Annie gets back into her pattern of rhythmic breathing centering herself. She remembers what she did during Ivan's attacks. She pictured herself singing lullabies and rocking her son, she pictures Ryan proudly holding the baby after birth, she pictures herself nursing him and playing with his little ear as he drinks, she pictures herself happy. It works for a few moments before the pain overtakes her thoughts again. Annie's next strategy is to image this is what childbirth would feel like except after the pain there wasn't a healthy newborn and tears of joy, just more darkness and self-loathing.

Eventually starring at the white the lights of the ceiling begins to blur her vision and she sees nothing but darkness.

Ryan is emotionally exhausted. He demands angrily that the doctor administer some painkillers now that Annie is unconscious. O'Connor goes against patient wishes for the first time in her career, but she didn't have any qualms about it. She orders the morphine and valium for Annie.

"I still see some remnants in the uterus that I need to extract, so I will begin the curettage portion of the procedure which involves scrapping the walls of the uterus. It will take just a few more minutes."

"Will she be in pain when she wakes up?"

"I won't sugarcoat it, she'll be in pain from cramping and bleeding especially if she keeps refusing the pain killers, but with the amount of drugs I just pushed, she'll remain asleep for the next few hours, I added a sedative to her orders, just to help her stay calm and get the rest she needs."

"Annie doesn't really know how to rest," says McQuaid.

"I gathered that. We'll administer antibiotics to prevent infection, she should definitely have follow-up appointments with her regular OB to make sure everything returns to normal."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry for your loss, it will take Miss Walker some time to get over it especially since she seemed so attached to the baby. I really do suggest doing something to memorialize your child, it helps with moving on."

The doctor finishes up the procedure and Annie is wheeled back to a private room. It's early afternoon. Exhaustion hits Ryan, he's ready to crash after watching Annie go through the D & C procedure and he falls asleep on the chair next to Annie's bed only to wake up an hour later to the vibrations of his phone. It's Jim calling after he delivered Kravec and finished a long debrief at Langley. Ryan relays the information about Annie's condition and breaks down as he tells his closest friend. It was only the second time Jim ever heard his friend Ryan cry.

When Jim arrives at Annie's room, he's stopped by the guard. Ryan steps out into the hall, whispering when he sees Jim, he doesn't want to disturb Annie who had become restless in her sleep. Jim hands Ryan his favorite tri tip sandwich, a side salad, a bottle of Voss sparkling water, and a flask of his family's bourbon.

"The good stuff, thanks man. Could have used it earlier."

"You look like shit, you need to get some sleep in a real bed. Go home, I'll stay with Annie."

"You know that's a no-go."

"Worried, I'm going to put the moves on her or something?"

Ryan manages a chuckle, Jim is like a brother to him. "You wouldn't stand a chance, she's too much for you. She's too much for me sometimes."

"She going to be ok?"

"The worst is over. She's strong, too strong for her own good you know, she'll be okay, I'll make sure of it."

Jim nods, understanding his friend's resolve. Annie was what Ryan had been waiting for, they deserved to make it together. He saw first hand what Kelly's death did to his friend and how long it took for Ryan to recover, he hadn't seen him this smitten with a woman since Kelly and he approved of Annie for him.

"They want you there first thing tomorrow morning."

"Put them off," says Ryan taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.

"I'll try, but don't get your hopes up, they're all trying to contain this and figure out how fucking Kravec got here to begin with and what connections he might have. Rick and Manny managed to get away with a laptop and a couple of phones from the Villa before hitting Columbia. They're on their way back with the laptop and phones, Joan can't wait to get her hands on the intel. Columbia went well by the way, they're on their way home. Rescued the oil exec before the ransom request even hit the wires. All in a day's work for those two. They might be ready for prime time."

"Thanks for holding down the fort."

"Don't mention it, I'll bring you some fresh clothes in the morning."

Jim leaves and Ryan returns to the room.

He takes his own antibiotics and falls asleep again in the chair next to Annie's bed. He falls asleep wondering if he will ever forget witnessing what losing the baby did to Annie. She was always guarded, fearful of attachments, believing she was unfit like Mueller, but she wasn't, she had so much to give and he knew she would have given so much to their child. He knew he would have a lot of work to do to get Annie to hope again, but he was up for the challenge.


	36. Chapter 36 : Annie's State of Mind

Chapter 36 Note: I swapped what I wrote for 37 with 36. I wanted to go out of order and then back in time with Joan, but for the sake of flow, this works better. . . let me know what you think. It's setting up more of Annie's current state-of-mind.

Ryan awakens just as he had fallen asleep to a nurse arriving to check on Annie. "Excuse me sir, we need to take Miss Walker to X-ray."

"I'd like to accompany her." It was just like Ryan to make a statement rather than ask for permission.

"I'm afraid not, you can wait here, but visiting hours will be over soon. She might not be back by then, there are quite a few X-rays ordered for Miss Walker."

"I planned to stay the night here with her."

"Are you family?"

"Uh, no, she's uh, she's my. . .we're getting married does that count?"

"I'm afraid it's immediate family only," says the nurse looking at Annie's chart. "Actually, it says Joan Campbell and August Anderson are the emergency contacts and the only approved visitors."

"It's okay, I've been here with her for a few hours already."

"That was a big oversight on our part, I'm sorry, I need to follow hospital policy sir." Ryan is pissed, but he knows making a scene isn't the answer.

The nurse and x-ray tech push Annie's bed out of the room and head to a different floor via elevator. Annie's guard follows which gives Ryan some relief. He takes out his phone as it rings. It's Joan Campbell. Good, thinks Ryan, he wanted to talk to her to find out how he can be added to Annie's emergency contact list.

"Joan."

"Your associate says you can't come to Langley tomorrow morning, I'm calling to say it's not a choice. You're needed tomorrow at the DPD for a debrief your recent mission." Just like Joan, all business.

"You got the version of events from Jim already, he represents McQuaid Securities. I won't leave Annie alone."

"I contracted the job out to you and part of that contract includes making sure you close the loop, I need you down at Langley for that or it's the last contract McQuaid Securities will see from me. Auggie is just getting his hands on that laptop and the cell phones your operatives collected. There's a lot to square away, the NCTC will be waiting too, you know Kravec had ties to Belenko and it brings back questions about Mueller."

"Joan, you didn't witness Annie go through the ringer here and without any painkillers, I'm afraid she's. . ."

"She's what?"

"She just seems completely on the edge of a breakdown or something. I need to be here for her, she needs someone, you of all people should know what your operative has been through since returning from the dead."

Sadly Joan knew more details about Annie's state of mind and health than Ryan and more than even she ever wanted to know. She had been keeping tabs on Annie's movements and progress through the posted security guard. She hated being a bitch and tearing Ryan away from Annie, but it was what needed to be done and Joan was always good at getting down to brass tacks.

"Ryan the best thing you can do for her is the come down to Langley, complete your after action report and give us what we need to keep Kravec in U.S. custody."

"You mean after everything that bastard has done, there's a question of whether he'll be locked away for life or not? Give me the key and I'll destroy it. What the fuck Joan? You can let him get away again."

"I couldn't prevent it last time and I sure as hell am going to try this time, but the guys at State are unpredictable, you know that. It's all political with them and they don't prioritize our operatives, instead they deny their existence. They have a different function than us, that's why I need your eyewitness accounts to use if it comes to that. I need unassailable proof that Kravec is dangerous to our operatives not to mention he's connected to a dozen terrorists."

"Dammit Joan, don't we have that already, we cut him loose and look at what he's done, how's that not enough proof?" asks Ryan angrily, his blood is boiling. This is why he hated doing anything with the State Department, their were a bunch of ass kissing ass covering yahoos.

"Ryan, I've been in this long enough to know the politics, I'm just anticipating here, preparing for the inevitable, we're on the same side. I need your help to protect Annie."

Joan was a pro, she knew just what weaknesses to exploit to get what she wanted and doing it to someone who really was on the same team, was no different. She viewed Ryan as an asset to be turned and she knew she had him. On his part, Ryan was so distracted by Annie's condition and his own physical pain that he didn't even notice he was being worked by Joan.

It's not just the contracts that he cared about, he couldn't let Kravec go free. So he relents, "Fine Joan, I'll be there first thing in the morning, but let's keep it brief."

"It's okay, Annie will be fine. She's tough. We have a guard outside her room. There's no more immediate threat. I'll even have Auggie go there before work. He's been itching to see her, I've just had to keep him hear all day, it's all hands on deck."

"That reminds me Joan, can I get added onto Annie's emergency contact list?"

"Uh, she'd have to do that herself, its' protocol."

The CIA and their protocols. Ryan was frustrated, but he wasn't going to give up.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Ryan ends the call and looks up a number and dials it.

Ryan puts in a call to his college buddy who is Chief of Medicine at Walter Reed, Captain Bennett Wong, M.D. Bennett sees who is calling him and picks up, "Hey Q, you up for 18 on Saturday?"

"Golf sounds good, but after I nurse the gunshot wound in my shoulder."

"Man, Q, you're past your prime, isn't it time to stop dodging bullets? When am I going to meet this woman who has kept you from our last two tee times? You can't keep sending Jim, he's not got the patience for it."

Ryan says, "I'm working on it old friend. Actually she's why I'm calling. She's here at your hospital and I can't get in to see her." He and Bennett had great times as cadets at Annapolis, he loved making fun of his nerdy friend. Bennett tried for Annapolis to pay for medical school and see a bit of the world before having the life his immigrant parents wished for him. His form of rebellion was to go to the Naval Academy. He had his life planned to the minute. Bennett wasn't fit for the life of a soldier. But Ryan had pulled him out of a makeshift hospital in Fallujah before it took mortar fire, if Bennett wasn't already grateful to Ryan for standing up to redneck idiots who always tried to jack Bennett because he didn't fit the typical Annapolis profile, he was after Fallujah. Wong also knew Kelly, they were lab partners in bio before Kelly realized a life in medicine wasn't for her and went down the pre-law path.

Wong says, he'll have Ryan added to the visitors list as Annie's fiance, "as long as she's really into you too, you're not stalking her like you used me to get to Kelli are you?" Ryan chuckles reminded of how he would always ask Bennett where he was going to be only because he knew he was meeting Kelli to study for bio. "No, she's just the only woman after Kelly to get under my skin you know?"

"Absolutely, anything for a fellow Captain and friend. I have rounds at 0700, text you for some joe after that and I'll take a look at your gunshot and your girl?"

"Sounds great man. Thanks."

Ryan goes back to the nurse's station. "Hi, can you check again, I'm sure my name is on Annie Walker's visitor's list."

And "Ryan McQuaid" was on the list as Bennett promised he would do. Ryan stays in Annie's room waiting for her to return from X-ray.

Meanwhile Joan meets Annie at X-ray, she was actually in the hospital when she spoke to Ryan, she knew from the posted guard where Annie was located. Annie is still groggy from the pain medication and valium. Joan manages to be alone with Annie while she awaits her X-rays. After Joan rouses Annie, she holds a straw to her mouth.

"Since you're not going to eat anything for at least another 24 hours, I brought you a milkshake."

Annie still groggy, takes a few sips.

"I'm going to keep McQuaid at the DPD for as long as I can tomorrow, everything is falling into place, tomorrow is show time if you're still sure this is what you really want."

Annie nods and with a hoarse voice from not drinking anything and from the screaming earlier during her D & C. "This life has finally caught up to me, it's taken away more than it's given to me now, it's time to call it quits."

"Annie, as much as I know this will fall on deaf ears, you can quit the CIA without leaving your life behind."

"I've made up my mind, I need a clean slate."

"All right then, can you keep up the depressed and distraught ruse until then?"

"What ruse Joan? It's all real."

Joan looks at Annie sadly, "Right, I'm sorry, that was insensitive. The plan hinges on them ordering a psych consult, you need to do whatever it takes to get a transfer order. Then things will move into motion from there."

"Got it."

Joan tries to give Annie the protocol she set up for getting in touch with her if needed. Annie refuses. She says to really disappear she doesn't want Joan to know where she is or to maintain contact. "I want to know you're okay." Annie says, "I'm far from okay, but don't worry Joan. I'll get there eventually.

"That makes me sad Annie, I'll miss you, many people will miss you. Auggie, Ryan, Barber, and Calder too. Will I ever see you again?" but Joan is never one to dwell on things.

"If I can help it, I won't see you until Mac graduates from high school."

Joan is sympathetic to Annie, especially since the guard reported to her the circumstances behind her D & C.

"Here's a key to a safe deposit box located in Basel and another in Maracaibo." The key was held on a chain. It reminded Annie of the key, Simon's sister gave her.

"Maracaibo? I won't be going there anytime soon and Basel?"

"They belonged to Teo. Venezuela being next to Columbia was a place Teo kept a box and Switzerland was his base for a stint after he trained with Auggie in Italy. I could only get you enough cash to start out with on short notice, your contact will have it after he gets you out of here. I'm sure Teo's box is filled with euros and US dollars, probably a gun or two and his contacts. I'm not sure what else. Remember his mission was black, off the books, none of it can be traced back to the CIA."

Annie looks at Joan, eyes narrowing, wanted to ask questions herself, but all she could muster was, "Thank you Joan, this means a lot that you'd help me."

"Believe me, there were times when I had the opportunity, but didn't and I regret that. Yeah, Teo's things. If there's anything personal, please send it to me if you can. Arthur never had the heart to go empty his safe deposit boxes and neither did I. Figured it would come in handy one day. He has others scattered throughout Europe and South America and I have a few, but in former Soviet republics, not places you want to be."

Joan is trying to figure out where Annie may land. Annie senses this immediately.

"You have a place in mind?"

"Even if I did, it's best that you not know."

Joan had to give it a try. Annie had been to many places during her time as an operative. She knew many cities well and spoke over a dozen languages well enough to get by living in countries that spoke those languages. It would be awfully hard to figure out where Annie would go given all her options.

"Okay then, you remember the plan? You contact will have a go bag and clothes for you, enough cash to get by for about two months. You'll have to build up your own cover with whatever contacts you can make, I'm nearly done securing your passports and IDs."

"Who's going to be on the other end?"

"It's best that you don't know that now."

"Ok, thanks Joan."

Joan gives Annie a hug and squeezes her hand, "I hope I see you sooner than you said. Good-bye Annie."

"Thank you Joan for coming through for me."

Joan removes the lab coat she was wearing and leaves as stealthily as she came, but with a heavy heart.

Annie has a chest X-ray taken of her ribs, one of her collar bone and jaw. There are fractures at numerous locations. The radiologist reading the films orders a sling and bandaging for Annie's ribs. She would have a couple of weeks of recovery on her hands. Annie's main doctor orders a liquid diet due to the fractured jaw and missing molar.

When the X-ray tech and nurse returns Annie to her room, McQuaid was happy to see that she was awake. "I was about to go looking for you, that took a while."

Annie manages a weak smile. "What did they say?"

"A bunch of fractured bones, nothing broken," says Annie flatly. Ryan relieved. "Well, I'm glad nothing is broken," says a smiling Ryan.

Again with his positive puppy dog eyes and outlook. Early on, it amused Annie, intrigued her even, she is reminded of the time when every cop in Venezuela was after them and they were trying to escape the country. Ryan had said, it was times like that when he felt like the luckiest man alive. Some of his sunny disposition had rubbed off on her, they both were so looking forward to becoming parents, they spent their nights at the beach reading baby care books and looking online at nursery furniture. They even agreed on a set after some debate and McQuaid ordered everything, the crib, dresser, changing table, and rocker to match along with a cozy wool rug. Annie is stirred from her memories by the dull pain developing in her pelvic region. Slowly all the drugs they had given her were wearing off.

Ryan notices her face, a wince and a moan. He goes to her IV and pushes the morphine. "What did you just do?" asks Annie with accusation in her voice.

"Just taking care of you Walker, figured I'd do it before you told me not to. You know, 'ask for forgiveness, not permission' so to speak, says Ryan trying to be light-hearted.

"You forced them to give me the painkillers and to sedate me didn't you? You had no right Ryan!" He could see she was still her stubborn fiery self.

Ryan sighs, "I'm not going to apologize for it, you needed to stop suffering whether you wanted it or not."

"It's what you needed McQuaid, not what I needed."

Ryan sighs, "I don't want to argue Annie. Just let me take care of you."

"How are you feeling?" asks Annie choosing to ignore the subject while she tries to reach for the morphine to disconnect the feed into her IV tube causing a beeping noise to start.

"I'm not the one in the hospital."

"You should be, you know. You don't look too good."

"I bounce back quickly, like I know you will. Listen, I want to be added to your emergency contact list. Can you do that?"

Annie looks away. It's harder than she imagined. Ryan continues sarcastically, "Protocol demands that you be the one to add me and I figure since we're getting married, I need to be listed as your emergency contact."

Annie keeps looking out the window for a few seconds, Ryan waits on her response, "About that Ryan, there's no reason for us to get married anymore and you can cancel the nursery furniture we ordered last week too." Tears roll down Annie's eyes. Ryan is stunned, first, he wasn't even thinking about the furniture and second, what was Annie saying?

He grabs a tissue and hands it to Annie.

"The baby wasn't the reason I want to marry you Annie, you KNOW that and if you really didn't know that, hear me now, I love you Annie Walker and I want us to get married."

Annie keeps looking out the window trying not to break down. She can't stand hurting him, but this is for the best. She convinces herself that he's better off without her, without the heartbreak that she would surely bring him. For Annie, the thought of being with a man was sickening to her, the thought of not giving McQuaid any physical love or affection would need explaining and she just couldn't do that to him.

"Annie, I know you are hurting, I am too. I understand grief, hell, I lived with it for about five years before I really started to live, and it was another five years before I let myself fall for someone. I want to be here, I wish you would let me, we're together remember? Please let me take care of you, let the doctors and nurses take care of you."

"What's the point? There's no me left. You're a smart man, it's time to cute your losses Ryan."

Ryan grits his teeth and lets out a deep sigh, he rubs his forehead and right temple with his hand before responding in a lowered voice. He was trying not to come off as irritated, "Damn it Annie, you can't let Kravec win, you are alive, you got out! Don't let him do this to you. You're grieving, I understand, we can grieve together. It will take time to get over the loss, especially since we were so thrilled to have the baby and spent those weeks making plans, but we will get through this. We'll take it day by day."

Hearing Ryan talk about the baby and their hopes put a painful ache in Annie's heart. When she met him all she had was her life as a covert operative, it was what was left of her identity at the time and she clung to it tightly until Ryan broke through her walls. Hiding her heart condition and maintaining her life in the field seemed like a lifetime ago, she got over that hurdle in her life to find a few weeks of peace and contentment with Ryan before all of it was shattered by Kravec. Those weeks with Ryan were beautiful, she found a new path, a new purpose for her life that didn't include being a spy, guns, running or lies. She started to look into a change in roles at the CIA and rehearsed a reunion with Danielle, writing draft after draft of letters and speeches, but mostly she was looking forward to being a mom. Annie had been surprised by Ryan's small yet romantic gestures in the past, but watching him engrossed in pregnancy and baby care books and tracking the baby's development week by week was what made her wonder where he had been all her life. It wasn't going to be easy to get over Ryan McQuaid. Annie used the sorrow she felt at losing what she and Ryan were supposed to have together to address Ryan.

"Don't you get it Ryan? He did win! He took away any chance we had at a happily ever after," spat Annie.

"What?", from Ryan's perspective Kravec who was locked up, probably for life was the loser in this scenario. He was stupid enough to think he could grab Annie from the States, ferry her off to Cuba to be tortured and then sold to Russia. In Ryan's book, Kravec's mission was thwarted and the good guys won. They lost their baby, but not Annie. He could live with that. But Ryan didn't know the extent of what Annie suffered at Kravec's hands.

"He took my baby, he took a part of me that I'll never get back. _He won by destroying me_."

Ryan was speechless at first, the once strong and powerful woman he fell for had disappeared, she was in such a desperate and hopeless state-of-mind, he wanted so badly to figure out a way to get her out of it. At the same time, anger was boiling inside him. Ryan was doing everything he could to control himself from punching a hole in the wall. He took a deep breath before saying, "He was my baby too, he was our son, we can grieve together, we'll plan a memorial once you get of here. We don't have to worry about Kravec anymore, he'll be away forever. I'll make sure of it. He'll never hurt you or me again."

Annie just shakes her head through her tears. "You have no obligation left to me Ryan. Please just go, I mean it. I don't have strength left to fight anymore."

Ryan can't hide his frustration anymore, he raises his voice to her, "You are not an obligation! I love you, it won't be easy, but we'll get through if we lean on each other. I refuse to lose you Walker, you hear me?"

Annie is just zoning off, she's not herself and Ryan does not understand it. This is her way of coping, her initial reaction, always to push away. As much as he was feeling hurt, he changes the subject. He knows once he gets her out of the hospital and back home, she'll come around. Maybe tomorrow when he got done with Langley, he would fill the room with hydrangeas. She needed some cheering up and sadly Ryan was naïve enough to think he could do it.

He softens his voice and kisses Annie on the forehead, she moves her head away from his lips, the movement causes a rippling pain in her collarbone and shoulder.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about this now. Let's see what they left for you here. While you were at X-ray, meal service came by." Ryan walks to the food tray and brings it closer to Annie.

"Apple sauce, vanilla pudding, creamed spinach, some chicken noodle soup, it's still nice and hot Annie."

"No thanks."

"Is it your jaw?"

"It's fractured."

"There's a straw here for the soup". Ryan brings the bowl closer to Annie, but she keeps refusing to have any.

"I'm tired Ryan. As she lifts her arm out of her blanket to swat away the bowl, he sees more of her injuries, the cuts and bruises on her arms.

"If you would eat, you would have some energy, you need food to heal."

A nurse comes in, "How's dinner coming along?"

"We're working on it," says Ryan.

"I'm tired and really not hungry, can I be left alone?" The nurse says, "Of course, you've had a long and hard day, come on sir, let's step outside," says the nurse as she pulls the blanket for Annie and change out her antibiotics on the IV stand.

She doesn't say anything. If anything she is still good at deception. She can't look at him anymore, it would make it harder to carry out her plan.

Outside, Ryan is feeling helpless and worried. Then he overhears the nurse report that Patient Walker is not eating and expresses concern over Annie's mental status. The doctor says, "Try again in another hour, we'll consider scheduling the feeding tube if the patient continues on like this. She can't afford to not eat. We're suppose to discharge healthy patients not sick ones."

The staff is all worried about her state of mind. The doctor looks through Annie's files on the computer. "We can order a psych consult tomorrow if Miss Walker persists in refusing food, might be acute depression or it could be more long term PTSD or something like that, best to get the shrinks involved."

Ryan walked to the nurse's station to ask about Annie's prognosis. He wanted to speak to the doctor about her. The doctor asked who he was, he said she's his fiancé. The doctor replied, "The only visitors and people privy to information are a Joan Campbell and August Anerderson, are you Mr. Anderson?

"No, but I am her fiancé."

"Than I'm afraid, I can't divulge Miss Walker's information." Ryan is beyond frustrated, but all he can do it go out to the waiting area where he eventually gives in to exhaustion and falls asleep for a couple of hours.


	37. Chapter 37 : Blast from the Past

**Chapter 37, was originally Chapter 36, but I swapped chapters. **

**Note:** Rewatch Season 1 Episode 5, In the Light, to get the references. It's one of my fave episodes, lots of foreboding for the rest of the seasons.

Joan juggles running down threats daily at the DPD, being a single-mother, overseeing Kravec's interrogation for the second time, and now she had to figure out a way to hide Annie from one of the most connected and resourceful men in D.C. Getting Annie out of the hospital was going to be a walk in the park compared to keeping her underground until she was well enough to travel on her own.

After a long day that started with meeting Annie when she arrived at Walter Reed, Joan relieves her nanny, wolfs down dinner and gives Mac his last feeding and a bath. She puts him in his pajamas, then secures him into his car seat inside her Mercedes S class sedan. Joan tucks a blanket into the carseat along with an envelope and says, "Mommy's taking her buddy for a long drive."

The open roads and soft sounds of lullabies playing afforded Joan plenty of time to think about Annie. Did the agency ask too much of Annie? Probably. She replayed their conversation. Annie was right, she had sacrificed everything for this country, for the agency, for Auggie, and for Joan and Arthur. Joan felt she should have gone to bat for Annie and been more of a mentor to her. Now was the time to support Annie even if it meant saying good-bye indefinitely.

It was nearly 2100 when Joan arrived at her destination. It was dark and she knew to avoid the traps in the private road. She turned off the car and lifted the carseat out. Little Mac was sleeping soundly. Joan approached the cabin with caution, but didn't feel it necessary to ready her firearm. The front door swung open before Joan reached the landing of the porch.

While he was not happy to see someone from Langley at his door, Christopher McCauley always respected Joan and his former lover Vanessa Sinclair had worked with Joan in Nairobi about 20 years ago when they were fresh off the Farm. He saw her holding the carseat in the cold night air. He rolls his eyes and motions Joan inside as he says, "I'm guessing this isn't official since you brought your kid under the cover of darkness. Congratulations by the way."

Chris scans his property before he enters the house after Joan.

"It's good to see you Chris," says Joan as she gives him a big hug. "It's been too too long. Still paranoid I see."

Chris puts the kettle on and says, "Old habits die hard. Have a seat."

"I'll be brief, I have to get back home and get some sleep. Do you remember Annie Walker?"

"Of course I do. She was good, very good for a newbie, figured she'd go far despite my advice. What's happened?"

"She's in trouble and I need you to help hide her and then help her out of the country."

Chris definitely remembers Annie, she was the catalyst that got his life back on track after five years of wallowing. She said, holing up and flyfishing wasn't the answer to his problems. After she talked him out of killing Hasaan Waleed, the man who killed his lover, he embarked on a second career helping his community, he became an EMT and fireman. He even met a nurse who seemed to understand him and his past. She was a veteran who treated injured soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq. She understood loss too, her first husband was KIA in Iraq.

Chris shakes his head, "No, I can't, I have a wife and a kid now. I told myself after Waleed that I was done for good."

"You haven't read her in on your life as an operative?"

"She knows some of it, but that's not the point, I told Annie, I didn't want to stand in the mud anymore and this sounds like an awful lot of mud."

"Give me two minutes to tell about Annie and if you are still unwilling to help, I'll leave and you'll never hear from me again."

Chris turns off the stove when the kettle whistles and pours hot water into two mugs. "You have until we finish our tea."

He was intrigued, he did like Annie Walker very much in the short interaction he had with her. He remembers their conversations vividly. He saw her potential to be a great agent, she was foolish enough to want it, but also good enough to go far and it looked like working for the agency took a toll on her if she needed to run.

"I'll just cut right to it, Annie will need a safe place and some medical care to recover from some pretty bad injuries. You're an EMT and firefighter so I figure you'll have the basic skills and access to medications to treat her wounds. Chris, this next part is highly classified info and I could lose my job for telling someone outside the agency."

Chris nods intrigued.

Joan continues, "I'm hoping learning this changes your mind, Annie was the one who took out Henry Wilcox. He didn't die in some random mugging in a back alley in Hong Kong."

Chris loathed Wilcox, he blamed him for Vanessa Sinclair's death, though he didn't pull the trigger, he created the situation in which Waleed killed Vanessa. Chris had figured there was more to Henry's death, but to hear that Annie was the one who took him out not only impressed him, but also made him indebted to her.

"Annie gave up a lot to hunt Henry down and it put her in a dark place. Now she's in an even darker place after being captured and tortured by a former member of the FSB."

"I wish she listened to my advice."

"Which was what?"

"You sent her here six years ago to get my help. She was all idealistic and eager to prove herself, I told her to think about how muddy she would get and to get out before she got too dirty."

"So will you help us, help her get out of the mud?"

"You're good Joan, she was good just like you, she was the only one who got me to come in and she used the same tactics," said Chris referring to Vanessa and his personal vendetta against Henry Wilcox.

"I'm sorry about Vanessa, she had a crush on you when we started together you know? You were this weathered and experienced operative, she was head over heels."

"Yeah she told me."

"So this means you'll help?"

Chris is not convinced yet, he's weighing the costs of getting back into the claws of the CIA, still wary, even of Joan.

Joan goes on, "She's not the same dogged nascent operative who was sent on a fool's mission. She's in a bad place Chris, physically and emotionally."

Chris nods and lets out a deep breath. "I'll do it, but I have conditions. You'll have to get her here. I'm on kid shift this week while my wife works her night shifts and I work during the day. And I won't lie to my wife. I'll have to let her in on this, I'll need her help and skills as a former trauma nurse if Annie is in as bad shape as you say. She can be trusted. She's tough, did boot camp, served in Afghanistan too." Joan nods.

"I have a way to get her to the vicinity. A man named Ben Mercer will be in touch with you, this is going to go down in the next day or two."

"Mercer?"

"Yeah, you're familiar with him, how can I put him in touch with you?"

"I didn't know him personally, but I know he took out Waleed, makes him my instant buddy."

"That was classified. Annie told you?"

"Chris writes down a frequency, have him use this to make contact."

"Thank you Chris" Joan says. "Still have some tea left, glad to know I can "turn" an asset after all these years out of the field."

Joan goes over to Mac's carseat and takes out an envelope tucked under the blanket. She returns to the table and slides it over to Chris.

"It's not much, but it's something for you and your family, for helping Annie."

Chris puts his hands up and pushes the envelope back across the table. It looked to be about 50K.

"I don't want the CIA's dirty money."

"Chris, this is totally off the books, it's not the CIA's money, it's my money from Arthur's life insurance."

_Note: A reminder that I had Arthur die at the start of this long story b/c it was written while Season 5 was on the mid-season hiatus and I really thought Arthur was the real target behind the motorcade bombing. Back then I operated under the assumption that Belenko was after Arthur b/c of Joan's dealings in the Balkans.I thought about revising the whole story to resurrect Arthur when it turned out to be about Auggie, but that would require a whole lot of revision. _

"All the same to me Joan, Arthur died because of his job working for the CIA, the agency paid for his policy, how's that money not linked to Langley? I'm not doing this for any reward Joan. I'm doing it to help the person who helped me see that there was light and hope, who helped me wash away the mud and if I can do that for Annie, I will."

Joan sighs, "Keep it here, it might come in handy for any supplies and equipment or give it to Annie, she'll need all she can to set up a new life. I'm still working on Annie's papers and passport, go bag. I'll get those to you or Ben somehow."

Chris looks at Mac.

"He's cute, they're always cute when sleeping aren't they? Kids they change the equation."

"Yeah they do and they're cute until they wake up at 2am, repeatedly."

"One more thing Chris, Annie's boyfriend won't give up looking for her, you'll have to be careful, he's a force to reckon with and while I doubt he'll make any connection between you and Annie, I can't be sure. He might show up here. Make sure you cover all your tracks."

"Oh this just gets better Joan, you waited until I agreed to tell me that? Who is this man?"

"Ryan McQuaid, owner of McQuaid Securities, former Captain in the US Navy, part of Seal Team 6, Gold Squadron. He's a good man, but Annie can't stay in D.C. and she thinks leaving is in his best interest."

"Shit, I know McQuaid, a little, he was on some missions the Khartoum office worked with the JSOC. He's a good guy."

"So you know what you need to do to hide Annie."

"Like I said, old habits die hard, I still got some game Joan."

"I better head home then and get some sleep."

Joan gives Chris a hug, he walks her to her car.

"Bye Joan."

"Thank you Chris, if you ever need anything, my private line is written on the back of the envelope. I really appreciate what you're about to do for Annie."

Chris watches Joan drive off his property. He has to prepare for a long talk with his wife Theresa when she got home around midnight. She was very understanding, but he hadn't told her the details about his life as a CIA Operative and then Station Chief.

He checks on his daughter, takes his baby monitor and walks deeper into his property to a smaller two room cabin. It was his workshop and contained all his woodwork carving projects, hunting and flyfishing equipment. He built it when Theresa was pregnant with their daughter Eleanor, his wife said they couldn't have all those chisels, hooks and lines lying about the house, not to mention the shotguns and rifles. When he built it, he included state of the art security and surveillance equipment to guard his home and family, he also built an underground bunker stocked with enough food to last months. He let go of prepping the bunker after Ellie was born, preferring to spend time with her while he worked on his hobbies. The front room was now a play area for Ellie, she often napped there while he read or worked on a carving. But now was the time to prepare the bunker for his first guest. He also turned on his short wave radio, he had to await contact from Ben Mercer. Truthfully his blood was pumping, he had seen his share of mundane problems as an EMT and firefighter, but this was a whole different level of action. Maybe he did miss clandestine work afterall.

Chris and Ben would go on to become fast friends. When they meet, they bond over fly fishing one of Ben's childhood hobbies, lost loves, a desire to reconcile their violent pasts working for the greater good with the gray areas and their joint mission to help a mutual friend Annie Walker. It would be a friendship that lasted for the rest of their lives.


	38. Chapter 38 : Beyond Help

Ryan wakes up suddenly alert and looking at his surroundings. He looks at the clock on the wall, it's already nearly 2200 pm, almost four hours after he left Annie's room, he didn't mean to sleep for that long. He leaves the waiting room quickly. The hallways are quiet and lights dimmed just like on an airplane for nighttime flights. His shoulder is starting to throb again, he pops his own painkillers and makes his way to see Annie, hoping she's in a better place after some rest.

The guard outside Annie's room has dozed off, so much for guarding Annie thinks Ryan to himself, but it is to his advantage that the man is asleep. He eases the door open into Annie's room. She's sleeping, or so it appears. When he opens the door and approaches the bed, she startles, the sudden reflexive movement caused Annie pain in her shoulder. He sees her touch her left hand to her right shoulder taking a deep breath.

"Sorry, didn't mean to surprise you. I thought you'd be asleep." He looks down apologetic and hesitant sensing that he really scared her. He still hasn't broached the subject of her time in Kravec's grips, he knew it would take her a longer time to get over the emotional losses than the physical injuries he could see. Ryan refused to make her relive her trauma by asking questions though he was sure Joan and the CIA would as soon as she was well enough.

McQuaid Securities had a few psychotherapists and psychiatrists on the payroll to help with issues that inevitably crop up doing the sort of work they do. It will be challenging to return to normal after an ordeal like the one Annie went through, he'd seen strong men return haunted from just one gunfight, but Annie had shown him just how tough she was, she had an inner strength and resolve that matched his and he knew she would be okay with support, but first he had to get her discharged and his mission was to get her to eat.

Ryan looks around and sees that Annie's food is still there. It looks untouched.

"Worked up an appetite yet?" joked Ryan. He wasn't sure how Annie would handle a feeding tube, he wanted her to put some food into her body because of what he overheard at the nurse's station a couple of hours ago.

"I thought you left."

"Nope, I'm not leaving you Walker. How about some ice cream? I can scrounge us up some."

He knew she loved her ice cream and he never saw her refuse any, even when she had those few bad bouts of nausea right after her heart surgery.

"No thanks, go home, get sleep you look like you need it, please."

"I'm the picture of health compared to you, I'll be fine."

Annie wasn't sure what else she could do to get Ryan to leave, she knew Joan arranged for him to be at the DPD all morning the next day, but she needed to orchestrate some events so that what she planned to do tomorrow would be believable to Ryan and others. She also wanted him to leave because the longer he was there, being his charming and optimistic self, the harder it was for Annie. It was difficult for her to look the man she loved in the eye when she planned on disappearing for good, but she knew he was strong enough to get over it.

"Ryan, all good things come to an end, that's what I've learned. Let's be done, I just want to be alone," says Annie more firmly causing Ryan to feel hurt and mildly annoyed that she keeps insisting on pushing him away. He chooses to ignore her, sure that yelling at her wouldn't go over well. He wanted to say that going back to her lone wolf ways wasn't the answer, that one tragedy doesn't mean more will follow, but instead he takes a deep breath and says,

"Tell you what, I'll go if you eat something first?"

Annie thinks about her next move. She has to make a scene to get him to go.

"Why can't you do what I ask? Ryan, go already!" cries Annie. "I'm just trying to help."

"I'm beyond help Ryan, I don't know what the point is anymore," says Annie full of despair.

"You can usually eat as much as any guy I know, I've seen it, come on," says Ryan holding out a spoonful of applesauce. Despite all her injuries, Annie pushes through the pain and knocks the entire tray of food off the table, then sobs, "Just go, please just leave me alone," sobs Annie. Nurses rush in at the commotion.

"Sir, we need you to leave. She's very agitated and we have orders to sedate her if she does this again."

"What? She's done this already?"

Ryan looks to Annie who is crying.

"Yes, I'm afraid so, around 8 PM, when we tried to get her to eat."

"Why didn't anyone get me? I was just in the waiting room."

No one answers Ryan.

The nurse pushes a syringe into Annie's IV.

Ryan goes to Annie who is weeping quietly. "Sh, Sh, I'm sorry I pushed, it's okay, I know you wanted to have that baby, I understand why you are so cut up, just let me know when you want to and I'll get you anything you want.

The nurse says, "We'll take good care of her sir. You really do look like you need some rest too."

She ushers Ryan out of the room.

"I heard the doctors say something about a feeding tube and a psych consult."

"I'm afraid I can't divulge any patient information, but I assure you we will do everything we can to help Miss Walker. Don't worry, she'll still be here tomorrow. She won't be discharged for another couple of days."

Very reluctantly Ryan leaves the hospital and takes a cab home. He thought maybe some space was what Annie needed. Things always looked brighter in the morning and after a good night's rest. He also acknowledged that he'd better rest up for his morning at Langley too. As he drove home an idea came to him. He knew just what may cheer Annie up and give her a reason to take care of herself. It was late, so he fired off an email to the German Shepard he and Annie chose. They had picked a puppy out together a couple of weeks ago, it was a bit early for the puppy to be picked up, the breeder suggested 10 weeks and it was only 8 weeks old, but Ryan hoped he could convince the breeder to let him bring their puppy home.

When Ryan gets home, he realizes it had been a while since he had been home. He spent time with Annie at his beach house before she was taken by Kravec and he hadn't been back home since. Although he lived alone for a number of years, the house never felt empty to him before, in a short time he had gotten used to having Annie's company. The house felt so empty without her presence. Ryan goes directly to the Master Bedroom, kicks his shoes off in the closet without bothering to put them on the rack. He has a hard time taking his clothes off with his injuries and it takes him longer than usual, but he manages. He brushes his teeth, washes his face, and settles into bed after setting his alarm for 0530. He falls sleep clutching the pillow that was filled with the scent of Annie's shampoo.

Annie wakes up to a nurse taking her vitals. At first she thinks she's waking up from the heart surgery she had, it's a familiar setting, another hospital room. She seemed to frequent hospitals the last few months. She would be happy to never see the inside of a hospital again. Suddenly, grief and guilt overwhelm her when she realizes this is a different time. The heart surgery was over a month ago, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Annie catches sight of Auggie. He somehow hoodwinked a cute nurse into letting him sit by Annie's bed before visiting hours even began. With the pain of her fractured jaw bothering her, she has a difficult time opening her mouth to speak when she first sees him. It was normal after many hours of not talking.

The nurse says, "I need to check on your wounds and change your bandages, would you mind leaving for about five minutes sir?"

"Uh, sure," Auggie says as he gets up, straightening his cane.

Annie says groggily, "It's okay, he can stay."

He hears her masking pain in her hoarse voice , "Annie?" he says softly, "I can go, it's no big deal."

"It's okay." Annie figured she wasn't going to see her friend Auggie again and she found a strange comfort from his presence. It seemed fitting that her first friend at the CIA would be the last person she saw from the agency before she left.

Annie had to leave Ryan, all her belongings, the city that had become her home, her job, and the only true friend she had the last few years too. It was difficult to maintain her cover with her college and grad school friends, so she stopped joining them at events and gatherings, losing touch with many since Annie had no social media presence per the CIA's protocols. The more she stayed away the less she was invited to events.

While she met many interesting people during her travels and fellowships post graduate school, the promises to look them up if she were ever to find herself in their home countries never materialized. Perhaps it was a mistake for Annie to pour herself into her career at the CIA, it was just that she had to lie and deceive people for work and she didn't want to do it in her personal life. It would be exhausting as it had been to lie to Danielle those early years. So work and her personal life blurred, Auggie was her only friend these last few years. It seemed to work for them until it didn't.

"What time is it?" She blinks and sees the blinds are closed, yet streaks of light are poking through. The nurse opens the blinds. Auggie feels his watch, "Just a little after 6 o'clock."

"Someone's up early."

"McQuaid was my wake up call at about five this morning, he wanted someone here with you when you woke up. He thought you were on the verge of a breakdown or something."

"I told him it was probably his painkillers talkin' because the Annie Walker I know has nerves of steel."

Annie is glad he can't see. She looks down and lets out a small smile, lips curved. She did have nerves of steel, she had to in order to pull off her plan. "He shouldn't have imposed on you."

"I wanted to come all day yesterday, but was caught up," responds Auggie.

Auggie can't see, but he heard a deep and long breath escape from Annie's mouth.

"Can you sit up fully Ma'am?"

"Haven't tried yet," responded Annie.

"I'll bring the head of the bed up more for you . . . now take my hand and I'll support you to sitting."

Annie sucks in air and takes deep breaths. The pain reverberates through her torso from the fractured ribs and broken collarbone. Upon hearing Annie,, Auggie's face shows concern. He knew from speaking to McQuaid briefly that Annie was in a dark place. And he had worked long enough with Joan to know that she was concerned too. When Joan returned to the DPD yesterday after spending time with Annie at the hospital she painted a grim picture. Auggie was dealing with his own guilt over not calling Annie sooner to let her know about the threat.

"You okay Annie?"

"Um hmm. . ." manages Annie through the discomfort.

The nurse unties Annie's gown and slowly removes the bandages covering the burns and the area that was stitched up from the hole Kravec drilled into Annie's flesh.

"Would it be more comfortable to lie on your side when we're done? The burns need some exposure to air to heal better."

"I don't know, both sides hurt so, I'm not sure."

"Annie," interrupts Auggie. "I heard you were being stubborn about the morphine. You know no one will judge you for taking painkillers. You don't need to be a masochist here."

"Miss Walker, I have to agree, facing the pain while brave of you, isn't necessary."

The nurse cleans the wounds, applies ointment to the burns and checks on the stitches.

"I guess the truth is, the pain helps me forget," says Annie.

"I was kidding about you being a masochist, but I'm guessing you're in no joking mood, I'm sorry Annie. I'm so very sorry about everything. I wish I had called you as sooner, that we got to you five minutes sooner."

"Don't Auggie, wouldn't have made a difference, what happened lands on me, all my choices led to this. There's no one to blame but myself."

Auggie sighs and leans his head on his cane.

The nurse finishes up and says breakfast will be delivered shortly, "Try to have something to eat this morning, the doctors will begin rounds soon."

"I wanted to come yesterday when you arrived from Key West, but I was tied up at the office. Annie I should have been here, I'm so sorry about the baby."

"I wish I never came back, I should have stayed away, I'd probably still have myocarditis, but I wouldn't know the pain I know now. Physical pain, I always endured, but this pit in my stomach, this hole in my heart, I can't do it anymore Auggie."

"What are you sayin' Walker, you came back, you did amazing work, you met your match in McQuaid as much as that irks me to say, he's a good man, and you two were made for each other."

"I'm glad you became friends, truly, he'll need someone because I told him I need to be alone, but he just won't let go."

Auggie didn't like to hear Annie talk like this. He wasn't a guy who wore his emotions on his sleeve. In many ways he was like Annie, they kept people at arm's length and built walls around themselves. Maybe that's why they didn't work. Two people with walls and no one willing to take a chisel to the other because each understood why the other had the walls to begin with. Neither of them pushed the other too hard, neither of them expected more from each other.

The meal service worker arrived and placed a tray on Annie's table. "Miss Walker? Soft diet, cream of wheat, soft boiled egg, yogurt, and pear puree?"

"Don't waste it, I'm not hungry."

Auggie says, "Leave it here would you?"

"Sure, man," says the food service worker not sure what to really do.

"Thanks," says Auggie.

"I heard something about that when I arrived earlier. O Come on Annie. Have a little, I hear their known for their pear puree." said Auggie.

He feels his way to the table based on the food service man's voice and pushes the table closer as he feels for Annie's arm. She pulls away when he touches her arm. Auggie is thankful he's blind, he had read the report that Langley received on her injuries. He knew she was badly hurt.

"I'm not hungry Auggie, I don't, I can't, my jaw."

"Oh that's why it's a soft diet."

"No thanks."

"Annie, I'm sorry about your loss. I know how much you and Ryan looked forward to having a baby."

Annie is close to tears again. "I don't want to talk about it. Thanks for being here Auggie. I'm just going to rest my eyes." She lied. She didn't want him there anymore, he couldn't see, but he could always feel her aura. He knew her better than anyone else in her life at the moment and she couldn't risk him figuring out her plan.

He reached for her bed, found her hand and squeezed it. "This doesn't sound like the Annie Walker I know,"

"She died Auggie. She died long ago."

"You're going to get through this Walker, you always do." Auggie didn't know what else to say to her. He was at a lost for words.

Annie holds back tears. "Thanks."

"I'll be by after work, I'll bring you one of those green smoothies you like, just give some of this food a try first, okay?"

"Good-bye Auggie."


	39. Chapter 39: Unlikely Bond

**ONE WEEK LATER**

**Skipping ahead in time, I'll get back to details on how Annie managed to get the psychiatrist to give her a one way ticket to a psychiatric hospital. A**

A week has gone by since Annie disappeared while being transported from Walter Reed to a treatment location, a psychiatric hospital in rural Virginia.

7 days.

168 hours.

Ryan has not slept much in that time, he's temporarily stepped down from his role at McQuaid Security with Jim reluctantly filling his shoes while he devoted all his waking hours to figuring how what happened to Annie and where she might have gone. He had Dex and Fitz helping him with all the leads they could gather, but Jim began hinting that it was time to give Dex and Fitz back to McQuaid Security. He felt Annie was in the wind and it was a fool's errand to keep looking. Ryan, on the other hand, was still hopeful, still confident in his ability to track Annie, he needed her, with every fiber of his being he needed to find her and get her the help she needed. It wasn't just because once upon a time she risked everything to help him get out of a bind. It wasn't about tit for tat, it was because he couldn't live with losing another woman he loved.

A phone call from Joan interrupted Ryan and Auggie sharing drinks and rehashing what they knew and possible avenues to go down. They were in the middle of debating whether Annie would make her way to Danielle in California. Ryan wanted to pay Danielle a visit, but Auggie was adamantly against it. Since Annie's "death" he had been in regular touch with Danielle, he already called her in the time Annie disappeared. It was a friendly check-in to see how she was doing, he didn't think from their short conversation that she had heard from Annie, he could still hear the pain and longing in her voice. She missed her sister and told Auggie she'd be out to D.C. for the one year anniversary of Annie's death. Auggie argued that to go to Danielle and shock her with the news that Annie was alive, but had disappeared again, would be cruel and unforgiveable.

Ryan didn't tell Auggie, but he had already dispatched Fitz to California to poke around and see if Danielle had any contact with Annie. Fitz didn't find any evidence of contact with Annie and was on his way back to D.C. Auggie thought Annie would never approach Danielle after all these months. If she wanted to do it, she would have done it already argued Auggie. Ryan told Auggie Annie was working up courage to contact Danielle, she had been drafting letters and speeches on what she would say. He was looking forward to meeting Danielle and the nieces Annie spoke fondly of, sure they would reveal a layer of Annie he didn't know yet. Now that meeting may never happen.

"She was drafting a letter and wanted to take time to meet face to face. I was supposed to meet her. Annie wanted our child to know Danielle, she said everything she knew about being a good mother, she witnessed in her big sister."

"I didn't know that," said Auggie, he had no idea Annie was even thinking of initiating contact, he would have helped her with the approach. Then again, she'd find out that he kept in touch with Danielle while she was "dead" and failed to mention it to her. Danielle was so cut up over losing Annie, she would call Auggie, he started to find it comforting to talk to Danielle and share stories about Annie especially when she didn't return from Hong Kong. He began to see that for the very same reason McQuaid was making him his drinking buddy. Auggie was the closest thing he had to Annie right now. It was a way to maintain a connection to Annie. And truthfully, Auggie needed McQuaid for the same reason so they formed a symbiotic relationship.

Ryan thought Annie would need someone, "She can't possibly cut ties with everyone and not look back. I just don't buy it, no matter how independent she was, deep down, she needed people. She had to have gone to someone for help. Who?"

Auggie remained quiet, just shaking his head. "She didn't have anyone else."

Ryan had suspected that either Auggie or Joan or both of them helped Annie, he couldn't get much from Joan. There were no phone records, Joan had not seen Annie since her arrival at Walter Reed, and she artfully denied helping Annie. She was nowhere near the transport ambulance route because she was at Langley all that day. As for Auggie, Ryan made sure to keep Auggie close since he was Annie's confidante at the agency.

"She's disappeared twice before, once when she took herself off the game board and went dark for a highly classified op,"

Ryan interrupted, "And what was that op? I still haven't gotten anywhere with Joan on that."

"You know I can't divulge that information," said Auggie before taking a long swig of his pale ale.

"Fuck! I'm cleared to know a lot of shit, but that's one of many files of Annie's that's redacted up the wazoo. Don't you think something during the time she was running that op might help us find her?"

Auggie sighs, "If I thought so, I'd have turned over those stones already McQuaid, like I was saying, she went off the reservation a second time, she didn't come back at the end of the op, it took her four months to make her way home."

Refusing to let Auggie take the conversation where he feared it was going, Ryan persisted. Auggie was sure Annie left for another extended break and would be back.

"What else do you know about those four months?"

"For the tenth time, I've told you everything she revealed when she returned. She evaded our spotters in Turkey then made her way to the South Pacific, Fatu Hiva until she had her first signs of health issues, then she went to see Eyal in Jerusalem where she had a battery of tests done and was diagnosed with myocarditis, after that she made her way home and you know probably more than I do from that point on," says Auggie sadly.

"Searches have revealed nothing about Annie ever going to see Eyal Lavin in Jerusalem, there's no medical records, no entry or exit noted for any of her alias. She has to have another alias we don't know about. Would she have stopped off anywhere else besides the South Pacific and Israel?"

"I don't know, what did Eyal say when you talked to him?"

"After he went off in Hebrew for about five minutes? Not much. Just that he hadn't heard from her and even if he did, he wouldn't tell me if that was what Annie wanted. So I got a guy I know to do a little surveillance."

Auggie raises his eyebrows. "You don't want to piss off Mossad and Eyal, you better call off that dog."

"Not a chance, Annie's gone to him for medical help before, I sent Dex over there as soon as I learned that."

"Well?"

"So far nothing, but do you know the name of the doctor who treated Annie?"

"No, she never told me, but I think Annie's not going to Eyal if she really wanted to disappear again. She knows we know she went to him once, she's going to be ahead of us."

"Yeah, you're probably right," says a dejected Ryan taking a sip of his beer.

Ryan's phone rings, he's quiet, listening. Auggie doesn't see it, but the color drains from Ryan's face.

"What is it?"

"That was Joan, they picked up on police scanners that a Caucasian blond Jane Doe was found in a ravine 10 miles from the area Annie disappeared."

"It can't be Annie," said Auggie brows furrowed.

"Nothing about this makes sense Auggie," Ryan slaps down some cash on the bar and says gravely, "I'm going to the morgue."

"I'm coming with you," says Auggie remembering the last time he was at the morgue was with a very much alive and newbie agent Annie Walker. He hadn't been in the field since his accident, he remembers thinking it was an unwise move, but he found himself drawn in by her magnetism, her certainty. He couldn't help but go with her and what an exhilarating adventure it was to sit in that interrogation room being questioned by the FBI. It was a day he would not forget. It was a day when he got a taste of what it might be like to be in the field with his disability. He had managed, his deception skills still in tact, in fact, maybe even easier with his disability.

Although Auggie's instincts told him the Jane Doe couldn't be Annie, doubts begin to creep in messing with his head during the drive over. He thinks about asking Ryan his thoughts, but he's been quiet and judging by the way he slammed his car door shut and the speed at which he was driving and weaving through the D.C. dinnertime traffic tells Auggie to keep quiet.

For Ryan, weaving aggressively through the D.C. traffic brings back memories of Annie chewing him out and insulting his driving while they were chasing after Eyal. He would give anything to hear the disdain in her voice again. He tried to quash the smile that the memory conjured up, there was nothing to smile about, it was a stressful time and she tried to hate him, but he knew only later, that she reacted the way she did because he had hurt her so much. Recalling that she loved him gave him hope.

During the long drive, Auggie barely moved and barely made a sound, Ryan almost forgot he was there, once on the open highway, his mind went back to _that day_, the day when he spent the morning in meetings at the DPD when he should have been with Annie.

Before _that day_ started, the German Shepherd breeder called. She saw Ryan's e-mail from the night before. She was sympathetic when Ryan explained the situation that Annie had just lost their baby and was feeling melancholy. She was willing to allow Ryan to pick up their puppy later that day if he promised to bring her back in a day or two. At eight weeks the pups were already weaned, but the breeder liked to socialize the pups with their litter for another two weeks. Most of her pups were eventually trained to be military or police dogs, trained to find explosives, firearms, and drugs and she had a strict program for socializing them.

Before they hung up the breeder said with a laugh, "The one you and Annie picked is very independent, she was the first one out of the litter box and the first one to explore a noise or new object. You gotta watch out for her," She sounds just like Annie thought Ryan with a big smile. He remembered Annie's laughter a couple of weeks ago when she picked up the pup and she licked Annie's fingers, he remembers feeling joy at the sound of her laughter, so he was sure surprising Annie with Ruby would stem her downward spiral.

When Ryan arrived at the hospital, he gingerly placed the excited pup in his gym bag, "Stay quiet and don't get us made," whispered Ryan in the elevator. He was happy and feeling giddy, sure Annie would love the surprise. He had already snuck the dog past the front desk, excited to reveal the dog Annie had named Ruby. But when he got close, he noticed no one was standing guard. His brow furrowed, when he entered the room all he saw was house cleaning staff bagging up the sheets in yellow bags labeled "BIOHAZARD" and another mopping up the floor. A mix of the scent of hydrangeas and industrial cleaners hit his nose. He ran to the nurse's desk to find out what the hell happened to Annie. He stood there waiting for answers with the wiggling puppy whimpering to get out of the dark bag.

Auggie interrupts Ryan by breaking the silence. "I can't see the speedometer, but it feels an awful lot like you're pushing 90."

Ryan eases his foot off the accelerator, the air between them remains grim during the rest of the hour it takes to drive to the morgue. A drive that normally takes at least 1.5 hours at normal speeds. Ryan screeches into a spot, he jumps out, goes to Auggie's side of the car, "Auggie, I'm at the back bumper," then extends his arm out to Auggie who finds it. They walk briskly across the parking lot and together into the building.

Auggie tapped his cane on the floor as he waited for Ryan to speak to the attendant. Losing her child was painful for Annie, he believed that, but he couldn't let himself believe it broke her. Auggie was a wreck waiting for McQuaid, relying on him for information. It seemed like an eternity, but he heard Ryan's footsteps approach him, "They're taking us to the Jane Doe now." Auggie hangs on to Ryan's elbow. As soon as Ryan opens the door and lets him in first, he feels the cool air, hears the hum of the cold chamber and smells the distinct odor of the dead. At least I have my shoes thinks Auggie as he crosses the threshold.

Auggie hears the attendant flip through papers on a clipboard, "Let's see, the Jane Doe is right here." Auggie hears him open the chamber and pull out the drawer. He puts his hand on McQuaid's shoulder as he hears the attendant move to lift the sheet. Relying on Ryan to relay the news felt like an eternity, but he didn't need to hear from him, Auggie's hand, the one he had rested on Ryan's shoulder felt the relief. Ryan let out a deep breath, he slapped Auggie on the back and said, "It's not Annie." Ryan realizes the woman before them was someone else's to grieve, for a moment he feels guilty, but hope remains. And so he thanks the attendant and leads Auggie back to his car.

Ryan drives Auggie back to his apartment. During the drive back, Auggie tells Ryan about the last time he was in a morgue. He shares the story of Annie's first day at Langley and how she recovered from crashing and burning. Ryan laughed, incredulous at the things Annie did, the rookie mistakes, leaving the synced device behind, going back for it dressed as a call girl in the middle of a crime scene investigation, getting caught at the morgue, continuing the cover with the FBI, it was out of a movie, and it was totally Annie. "You see when Annie hits bottom, she always finds a way out," says Auggie as he gets out of the car.

"Thanks man, thanks for the support." Ryan drives home without speeding, there's nothing he looks forward to about entering his empty house. It never bothered him before Annie moved in with him. He knew without a doubt that she cared for him, but she had a hard time expressing it sometimes. He tried to keep himself from asking how she could do this to him. He tried to separate himself from the equation. She was doing it to herself. All the evidence pointed to her punishing herself, that was her frame of mind and he shouldn't have left her despite everyone's assurances. Ryan couldn't be angry with Annie. He could only be angry with himself.

Once home, an exhausted Ryan goes to his dining room which now held an evidence board and sat in front of it staring, hoping that it would speak to him and give him a new direction to go on. The longer she was gone without a clue, the more unlikely he would find her. He poured himself some scotch and read his emails as he nursed his drink. Jim wanted him in the office tomorrow morning. He downed the rest of his scotch before crashing, emotionally drained from his trip to the morgue.


	40. Chapter 40 : Ryan & Jim at Odds

Note: Thanks for reading. Made up some stuff about McQuaid, I really wanted to learn more of his backstory from the CA writers, I think they probably had a lot of rich stuff in mind, we saw some of it, but took liberties here.

McQuaid slept fitfully and woke at five o'clock, thirty minutes before his alarm was set to go off. That seemed to be the norm lately. Then he went straight to his computer, something he had always done as soon as he woke up. Only on that day, the eighth day Annie was gone, what motivated him wasn't keeping up with McQuaid Securities' hundreds of clients, ongoing operations, new hires, and current project bids. Ryan opened up his email to see if there was any news on the Annie front. He had friends all over the world he tapped for information. He tried to use what he knew about Annie to pinpoint where she could go and asked his contacts at Interpol, MI-6, Australia's DIO, the CNI in Columbia, and a few countries in the Middle East. He sent Annie's description and photo, asking them to poke around and look at their facial recognition programs. He also gave them all a list of her known aliases. But this morning, his inbox contained no new leads on Annie, no one had spotted her, at least not yet.

Ryan fired off an email to Eyal Lavin asking for the name of the doctor Annie saw in Israel for her myocarditis. He explained to Eyal that Annie still needed follow- up care after her mitral valve repair. She was supposed to have EKGs and blood tests monthly during her pregnancy. He was pretty sure Eyal would not tell him anything, but he had Dex over there. It was a long shot, but maybe the email would tip Eyal to contact his doctor friend and Dex would be on it.

Next, Ryan went for a swim in his pool. He had a lot of pent up energy to spend and fifty laps should do it he thought. The cold water helped keep his mind off of Annie and served to clear his head. He always loved the water, as a kid he was on swim team, hours of daily practice and meets 2-3 times a week. His mother signed him up to burn off his enormous amounts of energy and stamina for getting into mischief. It turned out he excelled at it, he enjoyed learning and perfecting all the strokes. His competitive nature loved beating his own best times. He also loved the open ocean, fishing along the Flint River with his dad, and water skiing. It was no surprise to his family that he chose to apply to the Naval Academy.

After his swim, he showered and dressed for the office, put his Carmex in his pocket, a superstition borne out of practicality, and made himself a shot of espresso, some toast and eggs. It was only 6:15. This was his normal routine over the years, except in the weeks he spent with Annie before she disappeared, they swam together when she had recovered enough from her mital valve repair. Then they read the paper or watched the news over breakfast and sometimes fell back in bed before Ryan had to hurry up and get into the office. The toaster popped up and stirred Ryan from his thoughts. He quickly ate and headed to his office.

Jim woke up cranky as his ex-wife referred to him. One reason she divorced him was because he was never happy at home, he was never happy without the adrenalin rush of being chased or being the chaser. He was pissed that he was waking up in D.C. and not some backwater part of Syria or Columbia. He was pissed that he was in the position he was in. He was pissed at Annie Walker.

Jim was never interested in the business end and ass-kissing part of being a private contractor, but when Ryan was in a bad way a week ago, he was glad to help him out. He had come to like Annie, he saw that his buddy _finally_ found a good match, but as the days passed and she didn't turn up, he grew angry at her. He was angry for his friend.

Ryan sure as hell would never get angry with her, he was much too much in love with her and he saw it in his eyes, he saw the same guilt Ryan held on to when his wife Kelly died. The same guilt that kept him from being angry that Kelly never told him she was battling cancer, preferring that he be ignorant while on long operations. He watched Ryan wallow for about five years and now it was all happening again, he could see what was about to unfold.

Ryan was always the gentleman, loyal to a fault, they all made fun of him for being celibate when he wouldn't hit on a beautiful woman at the bar or return a woman's obvious interest. He'd always say, there was no point in sleeping around, he didn't have time for the charade just for a one night stand. Ryan was never much for meaningless sex, he'd rather go racing in one of his fast cars or for a round of kickboxing than have sex with someone he didn't care about. He never judged Jim or the other guys for their string of women, but he was truly a boy scout.

Eventually Ryan dated intelligent career women he met through work and through friends, but the relationships, if one could call them that, never lasted longer than a month or two. He just hadn't met anyone who drew him in and made him want to work for something more than dinner and beers. The women all accused Ryan of being a workaholic, fearing commitment, and keeping them at arm's length. Ryan never was good at pretending or making an effort when he didn't feel anything, he had too much integrity for that. He never stopped any of the women from walking away when he couldn't give them what they wanted. It took him a while to find himself again after Kelly, but he did. Then one Annie Walker throttled into his life. He didn't hide behind work, he wasn't ambivalent about when he would see her next, he was the one to pursue, doggedly. Jim knew his well friend, when Annie entered the picture, Ryan was different in a good way, in a way he had not seen in years, until she just abandoned him.

Ryan walked into his office. "Morning."

Jim looks up from his computer, "I heard about the Jane Doe. Sorry"

With a sigh, "Yeah."

"Any new leads?" Jim knew the answer.

"Too early to tell, might have something."

"Might?" said Jim as he stood and walked around and sat down on the front of the desk.

"Spit it out if you have something to say," said Ryan rubbing the scruff that would turn into a beard soon if he continued to go without shaving.

Jim was not going to beat around the bush. "Ripping off the band-aid here," said Jim, preparing to anger Ryan.

"Rip away already."

"No matter how horrible it was to lose a baby, I don't understand how she could just leave you, but it's clear to me she's gone and doesn't want to be found. There are no leads, that should tell you something."

"She's a spy, she's one of Langley's best."

"She_ was_, but she left the CIA too and not the first time. Face it, she's burnt out, she could be a Jane Doe somewhere and we wouldn't even know it!"

Ryan normally kept his cool even during the most stressful circumstances, he was always able to keep dangerous missions in perspective, using his sense of humor and quick thinking to react to the impossibly dangerous situations he's found himself in over the years. But today, this "straight-talk" from one of his most trusted friends had gotten under his skin.

"Shut the fuck up," says Ryan as he lunges for his friend, "she's not dead, if she were dead, I'd know it in my gut," says Ryan with a fury in his voice. Jim, just as strong as Ryan, pushes back out of instinct, he doesn't want to hurt his friend and if they went at it they would both be hurt, badly. They are locked into it, each grabbing on to the other's suit jackets. "You need to hear this and I'm telling you because I love you as a brother. She's GONE! She doesn't WANT to be found. You just said she's one of Langley's best, she KNOWS how to evade the likes of us." Ryan loosens his grip and eventually lets go of Jim's suit jacket. Jim knew Ryan wasn't being objective, he didn't fault Ryan for wanting to slug him, but he wasn't going to take it without defending himself either.

Ryan took a deep breath, went to the window and starred outside at D.C and beyond, are you okay wherever you are, thought McQuaid. Jim went to the console where a tray with a stylish decanter and glasses sat. He poured them each some bourbon and walked over to Ryan handing him a glass. Ryan looks at him, brows raised as it was only 7 o' clock in the morning. He takes the glass, no words are exchanged while they sip the bourbon. Of course drinking the bourbon makes Ryan think of his first opportunity to work in the field with Annie. They had used the very same bourbon to sterilize a pocketknife and camelback tubes to "save" Borz. What a waste of good stuff. It was then that he saw what Annie Walker was made of and she without wanting to had hooked him.

Ryan breaks the tension, speaking quickly and heatedly, "How in the hell does an extremely distressed 110 pound woman with serious multiple injuries, who made an attempt on her own life render two people unconscious and disappear into the woods _on foot_ near dusk and NOT leave a trace? From everything I've read, she had to have still been bleeding and cramping the D & C, and she just lost a pint of blood on top of everything."

"She had a blood transfusion right? After I had that blood transfusion in Fallujah, remember that man, almost died, but after getting two pints of blood, I felt like Superman, maybe it was the adrenalin, I mean, we both know it, she's clever and she's a fucking spook, she probably has a half dozen more aliases we'll never know. And remember, even with a bum heart, she took down that bastard Borz."

"I've run down all the leads on where she would get medical care in the radius of where she was last seen, she wasn't well enough to go far, at least not for a few days, and she still needs antibiotics and follow-up visits for her heart. . . now she could be anywhere, God Dam It!" says Ryan downing the rest of his bourbon and slamming the glass on his desk.

He had gone over and over the parts of the records that were not redacted by Langley and the parts that were redacted he managed to get out of Joan (so he thought). Miscarriage, three fractured ribs, a fractured collarbone, hole drilled in her shoulder, fractured jaw, cuts and bruises all over her body, a concussion, and lastly, she was being sent to a psychiatric hospital for psychotic depression.

Jim didn't know what to believe, it seemed unlike the woman he interacted with in Maracaibo and subsequently socially with Ryan to give up on life. The last time he hung out with them over dinner, they spent hours laughing and sharing battle stories of scrapes they had gotten out of. She was, he had to admit an extraordinary woman and Ryan was lucky he snagged her first. But now Jim had a fiduciary responsibility to McQuaid Security so he had to have that awkward conversation with Ryan about how it was futile to waste resources looking for Annie.

Jim and Ryan were at odds for the first time in their friendship, but he managed to convince Ryan that he couldn't' continue to use McQuaid Securities' valuable manpower on his search for Annie. They were paid too much to be private detectives on a wild goose chase, besides their unique skills as PMCs with specialty training in black ops were needed badly elsewhere. Ryan listened and knew Jim was right, he did still care about his company and its employees. He did still feel responsible to them.

"Look, I need to pull Fitz and Dex for a paramilitary operation in Nigeria." The President asked for this mission himself. You want me to read you in on it or not?

Ryan nods. Guess he'd have to call Dex back from Jerusalem, he hoped he learned something.

Jim talks, but Ryan doesn't really listen. It's all noise to him as he thought about what Jim said. It was something about Boko Haram and needing to stop their next target. "Do you need me for anything else today?"

"Well, I was hoping you'd read the mission plans and look at the terrain with Fitz and Dex before they hit the ground. I'm heading to the State Department for the security bid for the Cuban embassy. I figured, you'd want to go for it, so I did. You can use your office while I'm gone. The Boko files are up already."

Ryan says, "I trust you and the boys to handle it. I got an idea, I have to call someone."

Ryan turns to leave, Jim is dismayed, he had hoped Ryan would be more engaged, but he had pushed enough already and it was only ten past seven.

"One more thing, how long more are you going to need me to fill your shoes?"

Ryan looks back at Jim sitting at his desk, "Thanks, you're doing a good job,"

Ryan walks out of his office, the office he worked so hard to have.

Jim wanted to go on the mission with Fitz and Dex so badly, but he'd have to settle for running it behind the scenes. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make for Ryan, but it wasn't going to be indefinite.


End file.
